Hmmmm.....

I don't have a good day today. Last night something happen and it spoils my whole day. But then, what can I do. Things happened .. I mean $#?@ happened.

I wonder how long will I have strength to handle all these. Everybody has his or her limits... including me. I pray that GOD gives me enough strength and courage to keep going and holding on.

Sometimes I ask myself if my sacrifices worth it? Hmmm....

Rindu Ini

Rindu ini
Ada kalanya amat menusuk jiwa
Menyentap gelisah kalbu
Merobek seluruh ragaku

Rindu ini
Seandainya bisa diuntai
Pasti terilham mutiara terindah
Penyeri segenap sanubariku

Rindu ini
Alangkah syahdunya terasa
Seandainya disambut mesra
Terubat gelora jiwa
Tenang segala gundah gulana

Namun apa dayaku
Tidak mungkin niat tercapai
Tidak mungkin dapat terluahkan
Walaupun bisikan cuma
Kerana aku hanya sekadar menumpang lalu
Dalam kembaramu

Happy Birthday to a Special Lady

Yesterday, we (me, hubby and his cousins) went for Dim Sum at Sheraton to celebrate Tok's 81st birthday (it was on 12th April). I must say that it was a good one. Since there was no kids around, we had time to enjoy each others' company and not forgetting the food.

Talking about Tok, I must say that I have high respect for her. Even though she is just a small-sized lady, she is highly respected by the family members. The respect, I think, is not just because her late husband used to be Malaysia's IGP. But, in my opinion, it is because she has a big heart and she cares very much for her children.

I remember talking to her once about the family. She said, she values her family so much. She doesn't judge any of her family members and she doesn't talk bad about them either. She continued further by saying that she doesn't understand why some people can go around telling other people about ther family affairs (yes, the bad ones too). To her whatever happens in the family, remain with the family. To Tok, her family is her pride.

I wish when I am old like Tok, my family will respect me as much.

Ellix's First Cooking

I can't describe how proud I am today. Ellix, who is not even 6, cooked breakfast for us. Yes, she cooked potato salad for us! Isn't that so sweet of her?

Well, she did not exactly did everything herself but she gave the instruction and the recipe (which she learned from her pre-school during their smart-cooking class). I was merely there to help her with things that she cannot handle:- using knife and using stove.

She had been planning to cook for us for about a week. Supposed to do it last week, but since she slept over at her grandma's place, she forgot about it. When we reminded her , she said 'why you didn't remind me earlier. I'm excited to cook for you and abah'. And trust me, when she said she's excited, she really is. She has been counting days ever since...until this morning. Even last nite she reminded me about the ingredients that she needs for her potato salad.

These are the ingredients that she used:
1. potato
2. spring onion
3. mayonnaise
4. salt

Her instructions:
1. First peel the potato skin.
2. Then cut the potato into small pieces and boil them.
3. While waiting for the potato to cook, cut the spring onion.
4. Put the cooked potato into a bowl
5. Scoop mayonnaise and put it into the bowl .
6. Sprinkle some salt.
7. Mix the ingredients togethre.
8. That's it. The potato salad is ready to be served.

Here are some photos of ellix cooking:

The Skeleton is Out!

I have told somebody a secret that I have kept to myself for a long long time. It has come to a stage that I think I need to let it go.

How do I feel now? I don't know. The minute I hit the 'send' button just now, I felt like... there goes my pride. I don't know what that person will think after reading my email.

But somehow, deep inside of me, I sense a kind of relief. At least I don't have to keep thinking about it alone. I know it takes a lot of guts for me to let go of that secret. Whatever that person may think of me is secondary. At least I have let the skeleton out of the closet.

A Matter of Trust

A Matter Of Trust :Billy Joel

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The core remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when

I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
'Cause it's always been a matter of trust

I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're gonna face a moment of truth

It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust

You can't go the distance
With too much resistance
I know you have doubts
But for God's sake don't shut me out
This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it, whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk away a fool or a king

Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until it's only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust

I'm sure you're aware of
We've both had our share of believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
'Cause it's always been a matter of trust
It's a matter of trust
It's always been a matter of trust
It's a matter of trust


Note:

Somebody once dedicated this song to me. It was posted by mail, together with two packet of 'Lifesaver'. When I received it, It really touched my heart. It was so sweet of him. Anyway, those were the days.

Somehow this song is still very meaningful to me. A lot of things happened since but at the end, it is still A Matter of Trust!

Key Ingredients

Out of curiosity, I asked a few friends about the key ingredients to a lasting marriage. Some people say this, some people say that, but basically it centers around the followings:

- honesty

- trust

- respect

- committemnt

- understanding

- communication

Strange, only one out of 5 that I asked mentioned love.

I asked them what do they think of love? Don't they think that love is important to make marriages last?

I like one answer that was given by somebody who is actually younger than me (well, you don't have to be older to be wiser). According to her, love cannot survive alone. Even if you have loads and loads of love but if you don't have all the ingredients to support, it will die off one day. In fact, if you have the right ingredients, love can be built.