My Thoughts, My Place, My Sanctuary

Fast Forward on Life

2008-12-18T04:24:00.008+08:00

Sometimes life is just so screwed up so much so i wish i have a remote control and put it on fast forward mode so that I don't have to go through the sufferings. But then what is life without sufferings :(

There are so any things on my mind now but I am just at lost for words. Can't seem to find the appropriate words, sentences or phrases to describe what I am feeling right now.

Numb? Shock? Angry? Frustrated? Victimised? Despair?

It takes a while for reality to sink in and when it does I hope things will be clearer and I can see life again from a new perspective.

Till the time comes... I pray to God to ease my pain and make it more bearable to go through the days. I know what I am doing and I hope it is the right thing to do no matter how crazy it may seem.

Dedication to My Dear Friends

2008-07-31T11:47:00.010+08:00

Lately I have been spending quite a lot of time with old friends, either physically or virtually. I remember a few years back our get together sessions were like 2 or 3 times a year. Now it's getting more and more frequent. It looks like we are meeting almost every week.

Everytime we meet, there are always things to talk about, be it reminiscing the past, updating on the current going-ons or predicting the future. Whatever the topics are, we definitely have fun just to be among friends.

And not forgetting the fact that most of us are practically in front of the computer everyday, reading and replying to the tonnes tonnes of emails that keep coming from the group.

What can I say except that I feel I am so blessed to have such friends. Friends who accept each other the way they are... through thick and thin.

We lost a friend due to cancer last year and in a way, there is a blessing in disguise. Somehow it makes us realize that we have to live the moment. Life is too precious to let it just pass by. We lost a friend but a we regain so many back. As I said to my friends a few days ago, I have a feeling that Arwah Dahlia is smiling down at us now, happy that her friends rekindled the sisterhood bond that was built more than a quarter century ago.

To all my friends (you know who you are) you ladies are simply the best! You make me realize that age is just a matter of numbers. You can always twist them around... :)

Anyway, here is something that I would like to share. Some of you may have come across this article before but then I know some may have not. This is for all the matured ladies out there. Have fun!

Reputedly by Andy Rooney (an American humorist and commentator)

As I grow in age, I value older women more. Here are just a few reasons why:

An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If an older woman doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And it's usually something more interesting.

An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom.

Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

An older woman couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They always know.

An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Count Our Blessings

2008-06-25T15:43:00.008+08:00

According to MSN Money, inflation in Asia is out of control and the situation most likely will be getting worse in the coming months. For Malaysia, the 3% annual rate for April was a 15-month high, and Bank Negara is now predicting inflation will climb to 4.2% for all of 2008. *sigh*

But if we think our situation is bad, it looks like our neighbour country, Indonesia, is even worse. There's an article in NST today about Jakarta's urban poor that makes me realize how lucky our children are compared to some other children in other parts of the world.

The article reminds me of what happened during our recent trip to Bandung.

It was around 8pm. My husband wanted to alter the pants that he bought at one of the factory outlets. He asked our taxi driver who was waiting for us outside the shop and before the man could answer, there was this young girl about 8 years old who said "Pak, saya boleh tunjukkan" (Sir, I can show you"). So, my husband followed her.

After about 30 minutes, I saw my husband walking back and just slighly infront of him was the same girl who showed him the way just now. When he arrived at the place where I was waiting for him, I heard the girl kept saying "Terima kasih Pak" (Thank you sir) a few times. Then she left.

My husband was quite for a while during our journey back to the hotel. Then he told me what happened.

According to him, after the girl showed him the way, he gave her Rp2,000 which is equivalent to about 76sen. She was so happy and quickly she went to buy 2 pieces of bread. She ate one and she kept the other one. The way she ate it somehow showed that she was hungry and my husband asked her "lapar ya?" ("hungry?"). She answered "ya Pak. Ngak makan dari pagi" ("yes sir. I have not eaten since morning"). Later she said that the other piece was for her brother.

Anyway, my husband told her that she could go if she wanted to as he knew how to get back to where I was waiting but she continued to wait with my husband until the pants was ready.

My husband kept saying how lucky our daughter is. Imagine those children who have to do all sorts of odd jobs to survive. Rp2,000 which he gave to the girl may not mean much to us but to her it filled up her hungry stomach and maybe her brother's as well. And the Rp2,000 given to her was enough to make her waited for my husband to finish his errand.

This happened before the recent fuel hike. If life was difficult for them before, I'm sure it will be worse now.

We should count our blessings. At least our children are able to enjoy a much better life.

What I Learned

2008-06-10T22:37:00.001+08:00

Exactly 3 years ago, I made a decision which I later regretted. It took a while to rectify things and as expected, nothing was the same anymore. But little did I know that it was actually a blessing in disguise.

I guess if I did not make that decision, life would not be as it is now. Even though I do have my 'down' moments, but on the whole, life is a lot more tolerable. I began to look at things at different perspectives and in a way it makes me become more adaptable. I thank God for that.

Anyway, here is something that I happen to find on the internet which I would like to share.

What I Learned
by: Author Unknown, Source Unknown

I've learned
- that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned
- that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned
- that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned
- that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned
- that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned
- that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it. I've learned - that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned
- that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned
- that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned
- that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned
- that learning to forgive takes practice.

I've learned - that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned
- that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned
- that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I've learned
- that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many years you've lived.

I've learned - that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed you.

I've learned
- that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned
- that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned
- that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

l've learned
- that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other and just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned
- that sometimes you have to put the individual ahead of their actions.

I've learned
- that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned
- that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned
- that there are many ways of falling and staying in love.

I've learned
- that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned
- that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned
- that writing, as well as talking, can ease emotional pains.

I've learned
- that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned
- that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon.

Sexy Uniform?

2008-05-24T11:23:00.004+08:00

I'm back.... finally!!

I have been quiet for almost 2 months.. for no specific reasons actually except that I was bitten by the "lazy bugs". :)

I would still be nursing my laziness if not for my utter disgust on the claims made by Ms Munirah Bahari of National Islamic Student Association of Malaysia that the school uniform worn by girls at government schools "encouraged rape and premarital sex" (as reported by The STAR on 22nd May 2008)

How could she make such claim. It is such a senseless allegation. I wonder whether she really knows what she is talking about. What is so sexy or alluring about a white, straight cut baju kurung top?

Again, women, girls are being blamed for the societal problems that we are facing now. How very unfair. What about those guys who are the cause of the problem? I think instead of zooming on the "prospective" victims, why don't our system do something about those who commit the crime? More severe punishment, perhaps?

No doubt women/girls do contribute to the problems to a certain extent. But, to even think that the current uniform don by the government school girls are encouraging rape and premarital sex is just unbelievable. School uniform?? Urghh! What a narrow-minded statement coming from a University student. Pre-marital sex has nothing to do with what the girls wear to school. And as for rape, as we are all very much aware, even those who are clad in tudung and decently covered are not spared either. Those rapists do not zoom their victims to certain group of people. As mentioned by ivy Josiah (WAO), "rape is not about attire, it's about power that perpetrators feel they have over their vistims."

So Munirah, next time do think wisely before you speak. As a University student, you should know the importance of doing proper researches and studies before making such public statements. It shows one's level of thinking.

A Cursed Gift?

2008-03-31T15:27:00.005+08:00

Is it a gift or a curse?

A friend gave the URL for News of the World regarding a Maths genius who used to make headlines before (note: some people may find the photos a bit offensive). Sufiah Yusof, who won a place at Oxford University at the age of 13, is now a £130-an-hour HOOKER.

At first I thought it was just one of the e-mail junks that people spread around. How could a brilliant girl, I mean really BRILLIANT girl ended up like that? But then since the news about her is all over the newspapers, I guess it must be true.

This is a reminder to us all. Don't push the children over their limit. They might rebel and do something beyond our imagination. Touch wood.

I still feel so sad for her. I imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes. She must have felt so suffocated that anything is better than being under the watchful eyes of her too domineering father.

PRU12

2008-03-12T13:59:00.003+08:00

I did not cast my vote last Saturday as I was not sure who to vote for in PRU12. As much as I wanted to show my support to the government by choosing the BN's candidate, a major part of me decided not to. So, at the end, I felt contented by just accompanying my husband to cast his vote in Subang Jaya.

Along the way to the polling station, we talked about the candidate that he was going to choose. To be honest, we didn't know who the candidates were. All we know was, we wanted some changes.

Little that we know, that was the sentiments of so many other Malaysians too.

Around 2-3am, Sunday, my husband woke me up to tell me that Datuk Seri Shahrizat Jalil and Dato' Seri Samy Vellu lost their seats. I quickly switched on the TV inside the room and for the next 2 hours or so, my eyes were glued on the TV.

Sunday Star sums the results of PRU12 as Political Tsunami.

The results of the recent election shows that the Rakyat are not very happy with the government. The Rakyat have spoken... very clearly. It's a wake up call to the leaders. It's up to them now to remedy the situation.

When I went to the office on Monday, I was informed by our Corporate Communication dept that the company had to stop the full page Congratulations Message to BN which was supposed to be out in major newspapers. Hmmm.. there goes RM58K... what a waste.

Love Is In The Air!

2008-02-14T10:39:00.008+08:00

Come February the 14th, flowers, chocolates, gifts and words of love are exchanged between the loved ones all over the world in celebration of Valentine's day.

When I was in my teens, I really looked forward to this day as that is the time when I can send love poems to those whom I held dear to my heart and also those whom I secretly admired... and not forgetting the thrills of getting them too.

However, as I get older, I have somehow outgrown my infatuation towards St. Valentine and I feel that we don't need a person or a day to remind us to be nice to our loved ones. Love is something very precious and it should be celebrated everyday. Why wait for February 14th to show your love?

I once told my husband not to buy me roses on Valentine's day as I realize that the price charged is so unreasonable. How very unromantic of me.. considering that my star sign is Pisces. :)

Anyway, as I said before, we don't need February the 14th to show our love. Make it a point to say "I love you" to those people who mean so much to us as often as we can. Let them know that we care about them and we love them before it's too late. I learned my lesson well when my father passed away. I just hope that deep inside he knew how much I loved him even though I very seldom said it.

"I love you" , said on any day will always sound sweet.

A dazzling diamond bracelet, regardless whether given on Valentine's day, Mother's day or Birthday, is still a dazzling diamond bracelet and will always make a woman's heart melt. :)

As Mother Teresa said "Love: A fruit always in season."

Down The Memory Lane

2008-01-16T23:38:00.000+08:00

I was on Yahoo Messenger with a friend this morning and chatting with her brings back a lot of memories.

This friend of mine is currently doing her PhD at West Virginia University, Morgantown, USA. Not many people know about Morgantown as it is just a small university town in the east coast. But those who follow The US college football will note of its existence as West Virginia University is in the top three of the national ranking (Go Mountaineers!!)

There is this song, sung by John Denver "Almost heaven, West Virginia - Blue ridge mountains Shenandoah river - Life is old there, older than the trees - Younger than the mountains growing like a breeze".

Couldn't agree more. I spent three great years there and trust me when I say that the scenery is so beautiful and splendid especially during fall/autumn... when the leaves change colors...gold and crimson. It's so picturesque. I remember spending hours at the Arboretum near the coliseum ... sometimes taking a walk down the paths, sometimes reading book while having my daily dose of mountain dew and snickers (hahaha.. my main diet at that time), or sometimes just lazing around, doing nothing.

I learned a lot there. Formally, I got my degree. but informally, I learned a lot about life and living. That is something that I will always treasure.

I remember falling in love for the first time there and I also remember having my heart broken for the first time there too. Even though it happened so long ago, but it is still very clear in my mind. I can still picture myself crying my heart out in my room while listening to Whitney Houston's All At Once.. over and over and over.

I also remember partying at the discos after the semesters ended. Our favorite was the one at the Holiday Inn. Can't remember the name though. The first time I went to the disco, I had to borrow somebody else's ID as those below 21 are considered as under aged. I remember the guy who checked my ID looked at me up and down a few times before letting me go in. Then only I realized that the height stated in the ID was 5 feet while I'm much taller than that. No wonder he was skeptical.

This morning my friend mentioned that it started snowing a couple of weeks back and last week the snow was about one feet high. That reminds me of a time when I was stucked in the snow while climbing up a hill to the PRT station (something like LRT). Instead of taking the stairs, I took the shortcut.. ignoring the fact that it snowed quite heavily the night before. Luckily there were 2 guys who were kind enough to pull me out (at that time I was not as heavy as I am now... hehehehe).

Then there was this incident, also happened during winter. I was on my way to class, around 8am and the road was icy and slippery. Instead of my wearing my normal winter boots, I wore my high heels and my suit that morning as I had presentation to do. I think you can guess what happened. Yup, I slipped and fell. It was so embarrassing. Luckily it was still early in the morning and nobody was around except for one lady. She asked me if I was alright and instead of answering her, I asked whether my hair looked okay. Duh, how vain I was...hahahaha.

Well, those were the days...when life was a lot less complicated than now. All I had to worry was how to look good, academically and physically.

Sometimes I miss morgantown and WVU. I just wish that one day I am able to go there again. It would really be nice to be able to visit those places that always have a special place in my heart.

Reunion Dinner

2008-01-08T11:47:00.000+08:00

AWESOME!!!!! That is what I can say about the much awaited, recently held reunion dinner for MRSM Kuantan Alumni, best known as KUATAGH, last Saturday (5th Jan 2008).

Once again, our batch recorded the largest number of participants who turned up for the event. There were supposed to be 102 confirmed participants from our batch but on that night a few didn't manage to come and at the end the last count was 94. Not bad at all! 94 out of 600 are from our batch.

I arrived at Sime Darby Convention Centre around 6.30pm with my BFF (gosh! have not used this term for a long long time. Thanks for reminding me, Nini). Good for us as those who came late had to park outside the building.

Eventhough we have left MRSM for quite a while.. it has been yearsssssss ago (more like.. once upon a time...), one thing that never change is once we are among friends, we sort of like transported back to the old days. Screams of excitements can be heard from all corners of the ballroom, particularly ours. There were also a lot of huggings and kissings.

No words can describe the joy of seeing some of the old friends whom I have not met for over 20 years. Some remain more or less like before (much to my envy), some have changed physically (including me), and some look even better than what they used to be (hmmm... I definitely envy them the most!!!).

It was great to get together with friends again. We had fun talking and reminiscing about the old days. Had fun teasing each other about old flames. We even had fun catching some of us in action... :)

Those are the people whom I grew up with. Had been with them during my adolescence years.. we used to share not just foodstuffs and things.. but it goes beyond that. We shared our laughs, our sorrows and our dreams together.

The reunion did not stop there. Around 30 of us proceeded to a mamak restaurant in Taman Tun after that for teh tarik and roti canai... and of course for more laughters and catching ups, which lasted until 3am. It's amazing to see that as we mature, we appreciate friends, especially old friends, even more.

To all my friends.. you guys are GREAT! AWESOME!

Goodbye 2007 and Welcome 2008

2007-12-31T18:13:00.000+08:00

2007 came and 2007 went, well almost... in about a few hours.

As 2007 draws to a close, and 2008 is knocking, at first I thought of writing about all the plans that I failed to achieve in 2007 in this final blog for the year. But then on second thought, I decided not to. What's the use of pondering over something negative when I have another year coming for me to do what have yet to be done.

Anyway, as for resolutions, I guess mine still remain basically the same. I'm still hoping against all odds that;

- I will be able to lose at least 10kg.
- I will discover a fountain of youth that makes me look younger each day.

Hahahaha...wishful thinking, NaNa.

Well, on a serious note, I would like to take this opportunity to wish everybody happy holidays and hope you have a great and prosperous new year. I wish that 2008 will be a better year for us all. May our blessings be too many to count and our worries too few to matter.

See you again in 2008. I'm off to Chorus Hotel for New Year's Eve Dinner and Dance. Ellix told us that she wants to go dancing (kids nowadays... she's not even 7 but behaves like she's 17). After calling around, we find that the Hotel caters for families and hopefully we are going to have lots of fun!

Is Ignorance Really a Bliss?

2007-12-14T17:27:00.000+08:00

I am the type of person who is always curious to know more. Maybe it's my 'kaypoh' nature or just pure instict... but I always seem to find out about things. Sometimes I wish that I do not know certain things for I often heard people say that ignorance is bliss; what you don't know can't hurt you.

There is also a saying that goes something like this .. "the stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again."

So, what am i getting at here?

Well, I have been feeling quite down these past couple of weeks... *sigh*.. (I know it's not good to sigh but still sometimes I just can't help it). I don't know whose fault it is and I don't want to play the blaming game because at the end I always believe that if you point a finger at somebody else, the other four will be pointing at you. So, it's better if I don't.

This time instead of dealing with the problem the way I used to, I decided to just ignore it. Hopefully it will go away...... that's what I keep telling myself.

Some people may say that I'm trying to avoid facing reality. Well.. maybe.. but at this point of time, I think that is what I can and able to handle.

Facebook and Headhunter

2007-11-26T10:57:00.000+08:00

I have finally succumbed to Facebook. Registered about a week ago and I'm addicted. At first I thought it is just another networking tool like friendster (ok but more for youngsters) but then once I'm in it I realize that it is not that bad. Found a few friends whom I have not been in contact with for quite a while.

Anyway, now that I have explored the many wonderful applications in Facebook, life is back to normal. .. :)

In my earlier posting, farewell friends, I mentioned briefly about what's happening at the company where I'm attached to. Well, things are still the same and more and more of the 'old' staff are feeling somewhat demotivated. Many do not dare to voice out their feelings for fear of being transferred or put in cold storage. It happened to me and a few others and I know it can happen to so many others who dare to 'go against the flow'. Well, in my case it was not really against the flow, but more of questioning why it flows this way instead of that way.

A few of my friends left and I know more will be leaving too, if the opportunity knocks on their door.

Anyway, something wonderful happened to me last Thursday. I received a call from a Headhunter asking for my resume. It seems that they are looking for somebody to handle a portfolio that I'm quite familiar with and somebody recommended me.

It took me quite a while to get my resume done (gosh! have not updated it for more than 5 years). Sent the resume and now waiting for the results. Regardless whether I get the job or not, but I still feel good because somewhere out there, people still value my capabilities. They still know what I can do and have the confidence that I can do it well. It may sound pathetic but the fact is, that phone call really makes me happy. It's not so much because of the prospect of having a chance to get a new job but it is more of the fact that I still have my worth. That phone call somehow reassured me that I still have my value.

To be honest, even though I am not happy working here at the moment, but if given a choice, I do not want to leave. As I mentioned before, I don't mind getting old with the company. I have been here since it was still an infant with less than 50 people... about 9 years ago, and I don't mind going for another 9 or more years.

My Sentimental Moment....

2007-11-05T17:09:00.000+08:00

I was sipping my latte at Starbucks Coffee, Amcorp Mall yesterday when something interesting caught my attention. Not very far from where I sat, I saw a couple, whom I guess must be in their 60's, and the way they were holding hands and smiled to each other while browsing through the sunday flea market stalls really warmed my heart.

Very seldom I see elderly couples, especially malays, walk holding hands like that. There was tenderness in the way they regarded each other and I could almost feel it.

How I wish I have that kind of love when I am going through my golden years.

I found this poem, which was written by Ana Castillo and I think it's very beautiful:

I Ask the Impossible

I ask the impossible: love me forever
Love me when all desire is gone
Love me with the single mindedness of a monk
When the world in its entirety
and all that you hold sacred advise you against it
love me still more

When rage fills you and has no name: love me
When each step from your door to your job tires you: love me
and from job to home again, love me, love me

Love me when you're bored
when every woman you see is more beautiful than the last
or more pathetic, love me as you always have
not as admirer or judge
but with the compassion you save for yourself in your solitude
Love me as you relish your loneliness
the anticipation of your death
mysteries of the flesh
as it tears and mends

Love me as your most treasured childhood memory
and if there is none to recall
imagine one, place me there with you

Love me withered as you loved me new
Love me as if I were forever
and I, will make the impossible a simple act
by loving you, loving you as I do.

Al Fatihah.. Dahlia in Memory

2007-10-30T10:09:00.000+08:00

Around 3am Monday morning my mobile phone rang. When I saw the caller ID, my heart skipped. Immediately I was thinking.. "Oh, No.. please let it not be true".

My instinct was right. This friend of mine called to say that our close friend, Dahlia, has finally rested in peace at 2am.

Even though I sort of expected this to come, but still when the time came, I was not prepared for it. After a brief silence, I couldn't help crying. But I know this is the best for Dahlia. GOD loves her more and GOD doesn't want her to go through the sufferings anymore.

Dahlia was diagnosed with stomach cancer (stage 3) in May 2007. At that time the tumor had spread to lymph nodes and she was recommended by doctor to go for chemo to downstage it. Even though she did all the recommended treatments faithfully, unfortunately, it didn't help much.

I went a couple of times to visit her but somehow did not manage to see her during Ramadhan (still feel bad for not doing so). Tried to go on two occasions but both times I had to postpone as she was undergoing her chemo. Only managed to see her after Hari Raya on 19th Oct and I was shocked to see the changes in her. She lost so much weight and was down to 43 kg at that time. Imagine that much of weight on somebody who is 5'5" tall!

It was really sad to see a once bubbly and very cheerful person in such condition. After my initial shock of seeing how frail and weak she was, her mother asked me to sit on the chair next to her bed and I held her very thin hands. When I greeted her, I could see the effort it took her to open her eyes and look at me. But she did and she even managed a smile. After a while, she managed to say a few words to me.

I remember helping her to go to the bathroom and all I could feel was bones. It took a lot of effort not to cry in front of her. A few of us who are close to her promised her husband not to shed any tears when we see her and we had to honour that promise.

Before I left, she said to me to call her husband if I want to visit her as she will not be answering her calls. When I heard that, I know she wanted me to visit her more often. Luckily I did, almost everyday except for 3 days when I was sick. If not, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

A few days after that her condition got worse and on Tuesday, 23rd October, the family decided to send her back to Gleneagles Hospital as she was so dehydrated and weak.

When I visited her last Saturday, she was in so much pain. Her breathing was difficult, her face was very pale and even though her eyes were opened, she seemed like she was in another world. The doctors couldn't do anything much as they had exhausted all means and she was relying mainly on painkiller aka morphine. Visitors were not encouraged and we had to go in one by one.

It was a bit too much for me seeing her like that. I was in her room for about 5 minutes only and I quickly left and joined other friends outside the room. Seeing her like that drained all my energy. She was hurting very much and there was nothing that anyone could do except kept telling her to have faith in Allah and have patience.

I managed to hold my tears until I was safely in the car. I cried all the way home to Shah Alam

I thought of going to the hospital again on Sunday but I cancelled it. I didn't have enough guts to see her in so much pain. I knew I would breakdown and cry. I kept imagining what if I am in her situation. How will I take it? How will my family take it? The thought of her daughter who is only four years old growing up without a mother breaks my heart. She is too young to understand.

I prayed to GOD to ease her pain and give the best for her. Looking at her, I knew her time was very near.

So, when I received the call early yesterday morning, there could only be one thing. She must have made it.

According to her mother, she passed away in peace. She was calm. When I kissed and bid farewell to her before her jenazah was sent for burial yesterday, I knew our prayers were answered. This is the best for her. There will be no more pain for her.

I still find it a bit overwhelming. It is surely very difficult to say goodbye to a very dear friend whom I have known since I was 13. We were roomates back in our MRSM days, housemates when we were in States and housemates when we started working. We shared a lot of memories together.

To Dahlia dearest, you will always be remembered and sadly missed by us all. May your soul rest in peace. Al Fatihah.

A Moment of Inspiration??

2007-10-10T08:42:00.000+08:00

Today, at 21.21.00, the new darling of Malaysia Boleh, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor will become the first Malaysian Angkasawan to venture into space.

Dr. SMS was picked by the Russian Space Agency selection panel as the first choice to join American Commander Peggy Whitson and Russian flight engineer Yuri Malechenko, making Dr. Faiz Khaleed the second choice.

I still have mixed feelings about this though. No doubt I'm proud that Malaysia's first man in space will put the country on the world map but at the same time I am not quite happy to see yet another millions and millions of taxpayers' money (including mine too!!) is spent on another Malaysia Boleh project. If only the money could be spent on other worthy projects that can benefits Malaysians at large instead .... hmmm...

While we Malaysians are so proud in calling him our Angkasawan, NASA referred to Dr. SMS as Malaysian spaceflight participant instead of Astronaut. What does that imply? Are we really ready to go into space or we go into space because we paid a huge sum for the ticket? Well.. I'm still not happy that the government spends so much money for the sake of having "this moment to inspire generation". And to think that there is a possibility of another mission in 2008 and 2007.....hmmm.. sigh!

Nevertheless, I still would like to wish Dr. SMS all the best. I hope he has a good blast-off and have a safe journey back to earth. Since Malaysia has already gone this far, make sure that the mission worth every ringgit and sen spent.

Dr. SMS is sure one lucky chap. He's smart, has a good job, he's good looking and to top that up.. he's single. Girls will be crazy after him. Even now he is already listed as one of Malaysia's most eligible bachelors. :)

By the way, guess what he's bringing to space?

Biryani Chicken
Satay Ayam
Rendang Tok
Sliced dried Mango
Banana rolls
Tempe
Ginger Jelly
Roselle Granola Bar
Kuih Raya Bangkit

Got that from Dr. SMS's blog in angkasawan. The menu was approved and will be brought up to the International SpaceStation (ISS). All this while I thought they only eat the energy bars...hehehehe. Anyway, at least he's going to have a good Raya up in the space.

Farewell Friends

2007-10-04T09:01:00.000+08:00

It is sad to receive bad news one after another (actually don't know whether it's bad or good news ... depends on which perspective we are looking at).

These past few months we have seen many of the 'old' staff left the company, and the number keeps growing. To top that up, two more tendered their resignation... one on Monday and another one yesterday.

I feel so sad because not only they are dear friends of mine, but they are also among those who I think contributed a lot to the company thus far. They are heading two important departments here, one is on the revenue and another on controls the financial matters.

In my opinion, they left because they are not happy with the current situation of the company(but of course, another reason is because the offer is quite good to just let it go). Since the new management comes in, many of the staff who have served the company ever since its infant days (including yours truly) feel that we are not being appreciated . The new management see us as a bunch of jokers, idiots who do not know how to do our jobs. Hence, the reason why they bring in so many people at the top posts... some are just newly created. No doubt some are quite good (even though not as excellent as they were portrayed to be), but some are still yet to prove themselves worthy of the remuneration package given.

It has been seven months since the new management took over but so far I do not see much progress been made... apart from hiring new people and transferring some staff to other departments. Changes to the structure happens so fast nowadays. If they think a person is not suitable for that department (maybe because he/she tends to voice out his/her opinion about how things should be done), then that person will be transferred (again.. including yours truly). Those who tend to voice out opinion are seen as pro old management and those who just follow instructions are noted in their good book.. regardless whether they can perform their jobs effectively or not. I think I know which category I am regarded as even though I have no such intention of going against the new management. Too bad for me, I guess. :(

The question is what happens to one's competencies? Doesn't that count anymore? Well.. let's keep our finger crossed that they know what they are doing. Let's hope for the best.

The new ones are yet to prove their worth. Even though we are just a bunch of jokers, we have contributed in making the company the way it is now. The company is able to survive on its own without help from previous parent company or any bodies, be it government or private. The new ones got it easy.. they come in with good packages and enjoy the benefits of our hard efforts while we had to sacrifice a lot.. no increments and bonuses for the first 2,3 years when the company was fist started....hmm.. it seems so unfair. I guess some people have all the luck. But don't forget, life is just like a rolling wheel, sometimes you are up sometimes you are down.

Most of us love the company and we don't mind growing old with the company. But from the way it is now.. I think it's time to update my resume. Gosh.. it has been more than 9 years.... :(

Meanwhile, to 2 dear friends of mine.. I wish you all the best for your future undertakings. It is sad to see you go. But then as I told you both.. in a way I am happy for you too... you are going for greener pastures.

Ramadhan Tag

2007-10-02T15:32:00.000+08:00

I was tagged by guile. It was a bit difficult to choose the best 5 as I lurve food.... hehehe. Anyway, this one is for you dear.

NAME 5 FAVOURITE FOOD THAT YOU FEEL LIKE HAVING NOW

Laksam (especially if cooked by my Umi)
Dim sum
Bread and butter pudding (nothing beats the one served at Alexis)
Fajita
Chili Crab (from Fatty Crab kat Taman Megah)

NAME 5 FOOD YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE FOR BREAKFAST IF YOU COULD

Uncle Lim's roti bakar and half-boiled egg
Nasi dagang
Fried tanghoon kurang pedas
Roti Jala
Capati

NAME 5 FOOD YOU WOULD MOST LIKELY BUY FOR BERBUKA TODAY

Popiah basah (with the crispy thingy inside)
Tepung pelita
Ikan terubuk bakar
Udang masak lemak
Nasi kerabu

NAME 5 FAVORITE BEVERAGES YOU WOULD LIKE TO HAVE FOR BERBUKA OR SUPPER TODAY

Honey dew bubble tea
Fruit juice (anything.. as long as fresh juice)
Barley panas
Teh tarik
Hot chocolate with marshmallow

Finally.. I'm done. Now I would like to pass the baton to:

Axa ~ Malam pun tak pe as long as you do it
Zawi ~ Can't wait to see your choice of food.. :)
Anne ~ Hope you don't forget your ID and pasword this time..hehehehe.
Mcbudu ~ hope you don't mind doing this.
Ku_am ~ I know you are very busy but I still insist that you do it for me. You have not blogged for quite a while.

Have fun guys.. :)

Being Human

2007-09-28T10:24:00.000+08:00

I have not done Tahajjud prayer for quite a long time and alhamdulillah last night I was able to.

I don't know why but as I sat on the sejadah reciting my doa, I felt the urge to cry and cry I did. I cried and cried until my eyes were all puffy.

I felt so small, so humble and so helpless.

I prayed that Allah will forgive me for not being thankful enough for all the Rahmat bestowed upon me. I realize that I have been so self-centered and always ask for more while giving so little in return.

As I wrote in my earlier posting, I wonder too much and often ask why I don't get what I wish for, why my dreams are not fulfilled, and why certain things in life do not go as planned.

Now I'm beginning to come to terms with that and redha with whatever that I have at the moment. I am still far better off compared to million others in this world. Here I am wondering why I don't get this and that while others who are less fortunate than me are thinking about how to survive at this very moment.

Ya Allah.. please give me strength to go through this life. I am just a human being with a lot of imperfections.

My Proud Moment

2007-09-26T11:49:00.000+08:00

I am beaming with pride.

So far Ellix has managed to do her half-day fasting for about 7 days already. What makes us so proud is the fact that we never asked her to but she does it out of her own will. We just explained to her what puasa means and why Muslims are required to puasa during ramadhan. We told her that it is not compulsory for kids to puasa but it will good if they do.

The first time Ellix told me that she puasa and did not eat until she got back home from her Kindie, I really thanked God. Even though it was only half a day, it is better than nothing. It's a start!

I, in a way, wondered what makes her decided to fast. Somehow I was sure it's not from the pep-talk that I had with her. Later I found out that she decided to puasa because her close Kindie friends who are muslim mostly puasa and did not eat during break. She further said that "Mama, the teacher did not scold us for not eating and did not ask us to stand at a corner this time. She let us play while others eat".

Hmm.. as I said before, Ellix will always be Ellix.
- Given the choice of eating and playing, she would definitely choose to play.
- She succumbs to peer pressure. But, hey.. I don't mind. This is a good peer pressure.

I thank God for the rahmat bestowed upon me thus far. Looking at her now makes me realize that, despite having so many unfulfilled wishes, life is not that bad after all.

There Goes.....

2007-09-24T12:55:00.000+08:00

Oh my... I have ruined my diet over the weekend.

Sometimes I think it's better to just let my maid doing all the cooking because somehow the taste is not the same as when I cook myself. Even though I very seldom cook, but when I do, it's finger licking good... according to hubby (who else...hehehehe). And unlike some people who do not like to eat what they cook, it is not the same in my case. It makes me eat more because I get the exact taste that I want. :)

Anyway.. the culprits are:

Saturday: rendang campur (daging, hati and paru), nasi himpit and kuah kacang. I'm not trying to boast, but they are really yummy. It's really worth waking up early to go to the wet market to get all the ingredients.

Sunday: Ayam Masak lemak cili api, sambal tempoyak, pucuk paku goreng, telur bungkus and ikan masin. Even though they are simple food, but trust me.. can't stop once I started eating.

Hmmm.... I guess I will just have capati for tonite's berbuka.

Ramadhan Comes Again

2007-09-12T15:29:00.000+08:00

Come Ramadhan and Umi is off to Mekah for her Umrah again (12.40am, 11 September 2007 to be exact).

Ever since arwah my dad passed away in 2000 (on the 25th day of Ramadhan), Umi will spend the whole of Ramadhan there and will only be back on the first day of Raya or a day before.

Umi once told us that she will be at peace when she's in Mekah. She feels closer to arwah Abah there.

I remember talking to Umi a couple of weeks ago about Abah and from the expression on her face I can sense how much she misses Abah and how great her love is for him. Her eyes still watered whenever she talks about him.

I guess I am blessed with parents who share the kind of love and respect for each other that some of us can only wish we could have. Their love goes beyond the test of time and their wish is to be together dunia and akhirat.

Anyway, Selamat Berpuasa to all and may your blessings be too many to count and your worries too few to matter.

Understanding Women

2007-09-06T09:49:00.000+08:00

I wonder why some men find it difficult to understand women. Even those who have been married for more than a decade also sometimes complained that they do not understand why suddenly the wives gave them the 'long face' when they said something.

According to them, why can't women just say out loud what they really meant, rather than let the men get involve in the guessing game and try to figure out the 'real' meaning.

Come on guys, get real. I don't think it is difficult to understand what we are trying to say. You just need to get your brain to work harder and be more creative. :)

Anyway, in case you are still wondering how to understand the hidden meaning, below are a list of Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings for your fun reference.

FINE
This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which we feel we are right, but need to shut you up.
NEVER use 'Fine' to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

SOFT SIGH
gain, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

OH
This word followed by any statement is trouble.Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine"when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead-in to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and a "Go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before visiting on you major retribution and tribulations for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

See... it's not that difficult, right?

Merdeka

2007-08-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

Malaysia is going to be 50 soon and everywhere (well.. almost) people are talking about the meaning of merdeka and patriotism.

I remember not very long ago omebody used to say that I am not very patriotic.

Why?

I find it easier to express myself in English compared to Bahasa... especially when I am angry.
As much as I try to support made in Malaysia products, I still prefer tobuy imported ones whenever possible.
I prefer to listen to Mariah Carey, Gwen Steffani, Norah Jones compared to our local artists...except, Sheila Majid, of course.

Well, I was quite hurt at first when I heard that but after reconsidering it, maybe there's some truth in it. I'm not saying that I agree with the statement about not being patriotic, it's just that I couldn't help but say yes to the fact that my level of patriotism can be further improved.

Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that I do not love Malaysia. I do. In fact, I love Malaysia very much and there is no place in this world that I would rather be except Malaysia. Ye lah... only in Malaysia can you get nasi lemak and teh tarik at 2 o'clock in the morning ..... :)

Anyway, talking about merdeka, one thing that I like about the merdeka celebration besides the fireworks is the advertisements on TV (yes, you read it correctly... Advertisements!), especially the one by Petronas. Every year on all occasions celebrated by Malaysians, Petronas never failed to produce great advertisement. They people behind it (especially Yasmin Ahmad) always come up with creative ideas that will have impact on the viewers.

I particularly like the one about a man who is building a boat for his friend, with the message "Can what we build today take us into tomorrow?".

How very true. Sad to say, there are still a lot of Malaysians out there who are still still lazy and try to find short cuts in whatever they do without realizing that at the end of the day, they are the one who is at the losing end. They still rely on the 'subsidy' by the government as though it is their birth right.

Kudos to Yasmin and her team!

Anyway, to all Malaysians, Selamat Hari Merdeka.

Rebuilding Trust

2007-08-28T17:58:00.000+08:00

I found this article while browsing on the net (About.com:Marriage):

When infidelity, lies or broken promises invade a marriage, the trust between husband and wife is severely damaged. However, this doesn't mean that the marital relationship can't be saved.
When your spouse has done something to break the trust between two, rebuilding trust in your marriage can be difficult. Here are suggestions on how to on rebuild trust.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

Make a decision to love by trying to let go of the past. Stop obsessing about the situation which broke the trust between you and your spouse.
Decide to forgive or to be forgiven.
If you are the one in your marriage who lied, cheated, etc. show that the errant behavior is gone by changing your behaviors. That means no more secrets, lies, infidelity, etc.
Together, set specific goals for getting your marriage back on track.
Both of you must renew your commitment to your marriage and one another.
The wounded spouse must share the pain. The other spouse must acknowledge the hurt caused by the devastating experience of being lied to or cheated on.
Listen completely to one another and with your heart, not just your head.
Be honest.
Avoid using words that can trigger conflict. Use non-blaming 'I' statements and don't say always, must, never, or should.
Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
Be open to seeking counseling to have a better understanding into what caused the trust to be broken.
Remind one another that you each deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the affair or betrayal.

Tips:

Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time. It won't happen over night.
It's okay to remember the incidents and the betrayal. You may not forget what happened, but the pain will eventually go away.
Be aware of your feelings and share your feelings with one another.

What You Need:

Time
Patience
Honesty
Commitment to your marriage
Love
Forgiveness

Note: Well.... as it says, it is not easy. I know so. :(

What's In A Smile

2007-08-24T14:43:00.000+08:00

I was engaged on a telephone conversation just now. The caller was asking for some information. I wanted to transfer the call to the person in-charged but since the line was engaged, I entertained the caller myself. At the end of the conversation, he thanked me for the information and complimented on how helpful I had been. He went further by saying 'I can see the smile in your voice'.

Hmmm.. isn't that nice? I make my day by being nice to somebody. And.. it's not difficult at all. I treated the calller the same way as how I want to be treated. To me a smile worth a thousand words.

A smile is one of the greatest gifts you can give somebody. Likewise, it's also one of the greatest gifts to receive. It is something that is understood universally. Somebody used to say that 'a smile is the original form of instant messaging, a smile is ageless and it never goes out of style'.

So, don't you think that life be better if we all smiled more?

FACT
It takes nearly three times the number of muscles to frown as it does to smile. Frowning requires forty-three, while smiling asks only seventeen to help out. So, stop working so hard!

Beauty: Inner or Outer?

2007-08-23T14:00:00.000+08:00

We often hear people say beauty is skin deep and a person should be judged by her inner beauty. .

Well, ideally, yes.... if we live in a perfect world. But since we know that nothing is perfect in this world, then most of the time, people are judged by what can be seen from the outer layer first.

Somehow, even though we were taught not to judge a book by its cover, many people still tend to do that. I don't blame them. I used to be like that too (when I was much much younger). You see, I grew up reading fairy tales and stories about princesses who are described as beautiful and princes who are charming and handsome. And in all the stories, they live happily ever after.

So I thought, well.. if you are beautiful, then you must be nice and kind hearted too.

I found out much later that it is not always the truth. There are many people who are not blessed with a pretty face but they have heart of an angel. Likewise, some people can be very pretty at the outside but at the same time they can be evil hearted.

But then whether we like it or not, first impression matters and if we happen to have outer beauty, then we pass the first hurdle.

Hmm.. no wonder people are going for plastic surgeries, liposuction, etc.

But really, I wonder why some people can be so shallow and look at the outer layer rather than the inner part, especially when it comes to relationship. A person can be very pretty or handsome but if we cannot have a decent conversation or cannot get along well with him or her, what's the point?

"When there is outer beauty, one’s mind is happy. When there is inner beauty one’s soul is happy. Only when there is a balance between these two can there be harmony at a place or between two hearts"

Temptations

2007-08-22T17:30:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.. today I guess I have succumbed myself to the temptations. Why do I say that?

1. I thought of fasting today (alhamdulillah.. lately I find solace and peace when I fast. So, been fasting almost everyday during weekdays)... but then I decided not to.
2. Spotted a pair of shoes that I know I must have. Tried it on and bought it. Well... I have broken my promise not to be an impulse shopper.
3. Extended my lunch break... something that have not done for quite some time. Been quite busy these past few weeks. Luckily nobody really noticed me coming back late to the office with the shopping bag.

Whatever it is, it sure feels good not to go according to plans.

Mars Vs. Venus

2007-08-21T17:00:00.000+08:00

I happen to come across this story which I find quite interesting. It depicts the differences between men and women. It may seem a bit extreme but when you really think about it, well... it does make sense.

A lot of times couples break up because of miscommunication. What men think and what women think sometimes can be very different. As Dr. John Gray said, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Here goes....

The Difference Between Men & Women
By Humor Columnist Dave Berry

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.

She thinks to herself: gee, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: gosh. Six months?

And Elaine is thinking: but, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking... so that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way over due for an oil change here!

And Elaine is thinking: he's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: and I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: he's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: they'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumbags.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up..."

Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs...

"I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.

"Yes," he says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.

"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a re-run of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

Hijrah

2007-08-16T17:48:00.000+08:00

Had just finished moving my things to my new place (with the help from the facilities guys, of course). As of yesterday, I am officially with my new department.

I am looking forward to my new task with this department. It is more relevant to my experiences and something that I love to do. I know it's not going to be easy as we have to start everything from scratch.. new mission, vision, directions, goals, etc.. but it's something that I think will be worth the effort.

In a way it's like hijrah. Go to a new place and do something new.

Hope things will be ok.

Mind Boggling, Eyes Popping Jigsaw Puzzle

2007-08-16T13:11:00.000+08:00

Yes, that is what I would describe the jigsaw puzzle game which was held yesterday.

We were given 750 pieces jigsaw puzzle and one and half hours of time. Each team has 5 members.

When I signed up I was thinking 'how bad can it be, especially when you are not doing it alone'. Well, it was bad. The one we got was a picture of a building and even though we could separate the colors, they were all so confusing... especially when we were under pressure to beat the time. To make things worse, some teams had their own strategy. They had their 'secret weapons' to come and try to disturb us and make us lost our concentration.

The game was really fun... imagine adults behaving like kids...hahahaha.

The results.. were were in the 3rd place... out of 8 teams. Not bad, I would say.

Stress Pictures

2007-08-11T17:10:00.000+08:00

These pictures below are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress.

Alleged criminals see them spinning around madly while seniors and kids see them still.

Check your level of stress...

Hmmmm..... mine spins... faster and faster. Does that mean ....????? Hahahaha...watch out!!

Memangkecoh: Staff Game

2007-08-07T18:59:00.000+08:00

I missed the fist game of our yearly Staff Games. The Congkak competition took place this afternoon and i was too busy to spare time to play/watch/support.

From what I heard it was really kecoh... Sad to say that our team did not win any points. It's ok guys. There are still other games and I'm sure we will be able to catch up.

Signed up for Jigsaw puzzle, scrabble, sudoku and treasure hunt. .... all the mind boggling games..hehehehe. wanted to sign up for bowling but I don't think I have the time to spare as I have to prepare for a big meeting/interview the next day.

Kids and Their Naivity

2007-08-04T15:57:00.000+08:00

It's amazing how simple gestures can touch your heart.

A few days ago I scolded Ellix for being naughty (again). And as usual, when I scolded her, I cried. I guess I cried because if given a choice I won't do it. But I know I have to because If I don't say anything to her when she made the mistake, then she will assume it is ok to do it.

Ellix cried too when she saw me crying. She said sorry but I just kept quite. Then she came to me and hugged me. That was it. The minute she hugged me, all my anger was gone and replaced by love.

Later that night, I had this conversation with her:

"Ellix, why do you hurt mama's feelings?"
"I don't know mama. I'm sorry."
"Promise me that you will not hurt my feelings again"
"I will try mama. But sometimes I can only do it on weekends. Cannot do it everyday. But I promise I will try".

Well.... I cannot help smiling. Ellix will always be Ellix.

C'est La Vie

2007-08-02T08:56:00.000+08:00

I always remind my daughter to be thankful of what she has. But then I guess I forgot to remind myself to do so.

I realize that I often wonder why certain things in life do not go as planned. I often ask why I don't get what I wish for, why my dreams are not fulfilled, why things go they way they are?

I guess that is just facts of life. You get some, you lose some. C'est La Vie. I just have to accept that.

I shouldn't be wondering so much. What good will it do? It will make me more miserable.

I should be thankful to God. Thankful that regardless of what happened to me, I am still alive, in good health, have enough to get me by and I have people who still care about me.

If I look around, there are a lot more people who are less fortunate than me. There are people who has to go through sufferings just to stay alive. There are people who barely have enough to eat. And there are people who never knew the meaning of comfort, etc. etc.

I hope it is not too late for me to do that.

Great Party, Great Food, Great Time

2007-07-30T12:08:00.000+08:00

Ellix 6th birthday party was a success. All our effort in planning and organizing the party was worth it. The food was good, the guests had fun and the kids, especially, had an awesome time!

My hubby and I had been planning the party for more than 1 month, even before we went for our Gold Coast trip.

This time our menu are:

Stalls
Satay & Condiments
Penang Char Kuey Teow

Other Side Dishes
Shepperd's Pie
Fried Chicken Wings and Drummets
Chicken Cocktail
Curry Puffs

Desserts
Chocolate Fountain (Dippings: Grapes, Strawberries, Marshmallows)
Candies (Jellybeans, Candy Watches, Lollypops ..... bought from Australia)
Cakes

Drinks
Orange Cordial
Soft Drinks
Coffee & Hot Chocolate

The satay was really good. Infact most of the guests said that it was better than satay kajang.

The kuey teow too.. was very nice... especially when it was prepared ala-minute (cook upon order). The prawns were big and fresh.

But then I guess the center of attention was actually on the chocolate fountain. We managed to rent the machine and it was a hit among the guest. Too bad that I didn't manage to get a lot of strawberries. By 4.30, the strawberries were gone and soon followed by the grapes. Luckily we managed to get a lot of marshmallow. One of my hubby's cousins even put a cup under the fountain so that she can drink the melted chocolate instead of just dipping it (but then she's pregnant... so that is enough excuse to do so). Come to think of it, I think the adults enjoyed it more than the kids.

While the adults had great time with the food, the kids had an even greater time with the arts activities that we prepared:
Sand arts : 80 pieces
Bottle arts (sand) : 60 bottles
Key chain colouring : 60 key chains

The sand arts, especially, was a blast! The kids didn't even bother their parents. They were too busy choosing what colour of sand to put on the cards. In fact, some of them even refused/forgot to eat. The funny thing is.. we can see some adults among the kids too.

By the way, most of the kids were very sporting. They came in wit their costumes. There were princesses, fairies, butterflies, spiderman, superman, batman, harry poter, cowboy, etc. It was awesome! Even the adults too took the opportunity to dress up. My sister came in Witch costume and she was greeted with the oohs and aahhs from other guests. And another friend came as Jelly Fish which was very creative. They really add color to the already great party.

Even though we were very tired after the party.... we are really satisfied. Altogether, there were about 170 guests who came (adults and kids). The best thing is.. most of them had fun! We even received calls and sms from our guests saying that they really enjoyed the party and the kids can't stop talking about it all the way home!

A my husband said.. if we plan to succeed, then it will be a success!

A Tribute to A Dear Friend

2007-07-20T13:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, when I went to visit Dahlia at Ampang Puteri, I went to pick up Ninie first. Imagine our feelings when we met. As Ninie said to me over the phone.. "When I see you, I just want to hug you. I miss you so much".

We hugged each other tightly. It felt so good to be able to see each other again after so long.

As anyone can imagine, we just talked and talked all the way to the hospital. We have a lot of catching up to do.

On our way back after seeing Dees, we continued our talk again. This time it was a bit more personal. We talked about ourselves more instead of talking about our family.

I guess it felt good to talk to somebody who understands us. Somebody who knows who we really are. Somebody who will not judge us and somebody who will accept us the way we are.

Something Ninie said made me think.."You know what, when we were schooling, I didn't have other close friends except you. We were always together, even when we were not on talking terms to each other!"

Actually what Ninie said is true. We were always together. What ironic about us is... we were never been in the same class. Neither were we in the same room. We just happen to be two girls who were just inseparable. Even when we fought (yes, we fought .. sometimes over silly matters) .. we still went everywhere together. We still waited for each other to go for dinner and prep. We still shared our food... even though no words came out from our mouth.

After school, we were supposed to go to US together. But then, Ninie decided to quit the program and join local University instead... because of personal reason. I was sad, of course. I thought we would be able to go to the same University together.

When I got back from US for good, Ninie was the one who picked me up at the airport. I remember, it was almost 4am.And there she was.. waiting for me with her parents (somehow I managed to get permission from my parents to let me stop over in KL first before going back to Kuantan).

When I started working, I stayed with Ninie and her parents.. until the day Ninie left to UK to further her studies. It was a sad moment for me, but at the same time I was happy for her.

I still remember how I coaxed Ninie to wear more up to date dresses. Well.. I was the one who was always in short skirts while Ninie, being Ninie, is very decent. I always told her .. "Ninie, you are pretty. Bila lagi nak pakai all these. Now is the time."

Well, those were the days. How different it seems now. Whatever it is, Ninie, you are still my best friend. Forever and ever.

Time to Reflect

2007-07-19T13:20:00.000+08:00

Just got back from Ampang Puteri Hospital... visiting a dear friend (Dees) who was diagnosed with cancer. Tomorrow she will be transferred to Gleneagles for her chemotherapy.

I feel sad to know that her cancer has spread to her liver. Infact she was admitted to Ampang Puteri because she felt quite weak. Before going to the hospital, I had prepared myself with tissue papers, just in case it would be a sob, sob moment. But then, thank god, I didn't have to use it. I somehow feel happy to know that she is coping well and seems to be positive about the treatment that she's going to do. Maybe she's putting up a brave face for our sake but I do hope she's strong enough, especially emotionally, to go through it all.

It just happened that when I arrived (I went there with another friend), 3 of our old schoolmates were already there. What a coincidence! Didn't expect to see them on working day at 10am! We had a good time catching up with the latest news and I know it somehow cheered Dees up a little bit.

I realize lately that more and more of the people I know have been diagnozed with illnesses and diseases that I never thought would only happen to 'other people'. How sad.... and it can be frightening sometimes. It makes me realize that we never know what the future has in store for us. Nothing is certain.

Ellix Turns 6

2007-07-18T12:08:00.001+08:00

My princess is 6 today.

Due to some unavoidable circumstances, we are not able to have ellix's birtday party this weekend, 21st July. It will be on the 28th July instead.

Ellix, as ususal, has been counting days and is really looking forward to it. Last week was spent at her Nen's place doing her invitation card.

It's going to be a costume party and I'm very sure that it is going to be a party that all kids who attend would remember.

(Read it from right bottom, right upper, left upper, left bottom)

The card says:

Costume Party
Come have fun with me on my sixth birthday! Put on your favorite costume and join in the activities!

Date: 28th July 2007
Time: 3-7
Venue: Swimming Pool, Level 3
Location: Sri Acapella, Jln Lompat Tinggi 13/33, Shah Alam
RSVP: Megat xxx-xxxxxxx, Nana xxx-xxxxxxx

You can be a princess, ninja turtle or spiderman but you must not miss out on fun games and creative activities that we can share.
Bring along your swimming costumes and floaters for safety if you want to dip in the pool!

Hope you can make it!
Thank you very much.

From me,
Puteri Ellixafira

Weird But True

2007-07-10T16:34:00.000+08:00

I was talking to a colleague about something this morning when he asked me if I wish I could communicate with my father recently. He said I have something that I need to tell my father and according to him my father seems quite sad.

Maybe it was a wild guess, but it hit the bull's eye!

I looked at him with, surprised, as that was exactly how I felt a few days ago. I was feeling a bit down last week and in my mind I wish my father was around.... I mean, I wish my late father was around. How I wish sometimes that I am able to chat with him and tell him about the ups and downs of my life.

My colleague further said that my late father wishes that we take care of our mum as he loves her very very much.

He asked me if my mum has a sarung (kain pelikat) that she always have with her when she goes to sleep. Again, I was surprised as that is excatly what my mum does. She has this sarung that belongs to my father and use it as her blanket. She has been doing that ever since my father passed away more than six years ago.

My colleague's eyes watered when he heard that.

I told him ever since my father passed away, my mum never spend Ramadhan in Malaysia as it makes her sad. My father passed away during the month of Ramadhan, 3 days before Hari Raya, on his 60th birthday. She would go for Umrah as she feels she is closer to my father there.

I told my collegue that my parents have a special kind of love. He agreed with me. According to him (from what he can feel/sense), my parents are not the type who showed their love openly. As long as both of them knew.... that's enough for them. There need not be words of endearments, etc. They need not hold hands all the time. Their hearts just communicate with each other abput their feelings. Their eyes communicate their love.

I just smiled at him as I couldn't agree more.

In a way, I wish I have the kind of love that my parents have.

Note:
This colleague of mine has a special talent. He can sense the supernatural powers around him. Sometimes people go to him for advise or berubat.

Before he left he asked me to tell my mum that my father loves her very very much.

Weekend and CINTA

2007-07-09T14:14:00.000+08:00

Last Friday my daughter told me "Mama, I have to watch TV all day long on Saturday and Sunday, until the day ends. There are a lot of new cartoons on Disney channel".

'Are you sure?' was my reply.

"Yes, mama. I'm sure. And I cannot miss them. It's going to be fun, Mama. Please, please. Can I have the TV?"

Hmm... looking at her with the hopefull look in her eyes (by the way, she uses the same tactic all the time and still... I succumb to it..), I said to myself.. well, forget about watching movies on Astro. She's going to be glued to the TV all day long. So, better find other alternatives.

With that in mind, I started digging into our DVD collection and as you may have guessed... spent my weekend watching reruns of the movies. Managed to watch 3 movies, by the way, and one of them is CINTA.

The first time I watched CINTA I didn't really watch it thoroughly. I missed some of the parts and most importantly, I didn't pay much attention to the scripts. But yesterday was different. I really 'menghayati' the movie and I admit to myself taht the movie is good. No wonder people gave good comments about the movie.

CINTA comprises of 5 stories in 1 movie. It is a story about love; the different kinds of love.
1. Dato' Rahim Razali and Fatimah Abu Bakar - Extraordinary CINTA: Age does not diminish one's capacity for love or need for companionship.
2. Eizlan Yusof and Fasha Sandha - Unexpeted CINTA: Love sometimes happen when you least expected it.
3. Nanu Baharudin and Que Haidar - Eternal CINTA: The sacrifices you are willing to make for the one you love.
4. Rashidi IShak and Rita Rudaini - Unconditionally CINTA: True love means letting go of the one you love the most.
5. Pierre Andre and Sharifah Amani - Pure CINTA: Sometimes the love that we desperately seek is not pur true love.

The list of casts are great and teh soundtracks are just wonderful especially CINTA by Misha Omar and Jac Victor (original singers Melly Goeslow and Kris Dayanti).

There are some parts of CINTA that really touched my heart:

1. The part where Cikgu Elyas said to Mak Bi/Rubiah and Rahmah (scene at the restaurant): "Bukan senang nak dapat teman hidup yang sanggup terima baik buruk kita, sanggup berkorban untuk kita, sanggup hidup bersama sampai ke akhir hayat. Isteri bukanlah hak milik, tapi anugerah".

2. The part where Mak Bi/Rubiah said to Amin (scene at Rubiah's house): "Satu hari bersama orang yang kita sayang, macamana susah pun lebih baik daripada seumur hidup dengan orang yang kita tak sayang".

How true. I couldn't agree more.

What's Next?

2007-07-05T12:40:00.000+08:00

Lately I have not really looking forward to to go work. When I mentioned this to a few colleagues at the office, I discovered that I am not alone. They also voice out the same sentiment. Some of them are demoralized and feel somewhat demotivated to work.

Being in HR department, I don't take this matter lightly. What staff feel is important to us. We believe that staff is our assets and happier staff means an increase in assets value (hence, increase in productivity).

Since the new management took over the organization, a lot of speculations are in the air. Rumours are spreading like crazy. Office politics, which was something quite rare before, has become the 'talk of the office'. Staff are wondering when is the new management going to make announcement about the restructuring. Very often we were asked if there will be any offer on VSS or better still, will there be any retrenchment?

Those who are at the higher position often asked us about the new management's directions. What are the mission and vision? What are we going to focus on? Are we going to maintain the current ones? Why there is no session held between the new managemtn and the HODs?

So many questions and so little answers to give. Why? Because we ourselves don't know.

But then one thing some of us do notice is that lately some people have shown their true colours. They use the opportunities available to get what they want. No doubt, some people are just lucky. But then, in my case, I would rather not have the luck than having to kiss people's @#$.

I still believe that we have to be honest in whatever we do. Our job is our amanah and we are paid to make sure that we carry out our amanah properly and sincerely.

But then the question of 'what's next' is still left unanswered.

Awesome Time!!

2007-07-02T17:12:00.000+08:00

The trip to Gold Coast was good. It was awesome. Will furnish the details of the trip later.

22nd June
Our flight to Singapore, which was scheduled at 5.45pm was delayed for 20 minutes. Luckily the connecting flight to Brisbane was aropund 9.30pm. Still had a lot of time. By the time we boarded Qantas flight to Brisbane Megat and I were sleepy and hungry. Luckily Ellix had some snacks while waiting for the flight. At least I had one less problem that I had to handle.

The flight to Brisbane was OK. Ellix, as usual, was a bit excited as it was her first long trip (the furthest that she went was to Bangkok and it only took about 2 hours). She had fun time with the flight entertainment, switching from movies to games and to movies again. In between, she would do her coloring on The Wiggles activity book which wa given out to all children.

Halfway through the flight, I guess she felt a bit tired. She kept asking how much longer are we going to arrive in Australia. According to her, she can't wait to get there. Can't wait to go to the beach. Hmmm... despite telling her that the weather would be too cold for us to swim, she still insisted that we bring her to the beach... just to play with the sand.

23rd June
Finally, we arrived at Brisbane airport around 7.15am. Ellix was excited. Considering that it was still around 5.15am Malaysian time, she was already very chirpy and kept asking about this and that.

After getting our luggages, we had to queue at the Immigration. The queue was quite long. It was OK as we were not in a rush but it just happened that we had to endure somebody's body odor. Gosh.. how can some people are not sensitive about this. All we could do was, I tengok kat Megat and Megat tengok kat I .. and both of us geleng kepala.

The immigration process went fine and around 8.15am we were safely admitted to Australia.

After a brief visit to the restroom, we went ahead to the car rental section. After comparing the prices, etc, we finally decided on Thrifty Car Rental. As they were out of compact cars, we had to settle for the normal, medium sized family car. The total amount for 1 week rental was AUD371. Seems a lot but actually if we were to take public transport, it will cost us about that much also. But then, having a car if much more convenient to move around.

Around 9.30am we were already in our rented car, Mitsubishi Mivec (much to Megat's delight), and leaving Brisbane Airport towards Gold Coast.

The 1 hour drive to Gold Coast was quite smooth. Considering that both Megat and I had never been to Australia, we didn't have problems getting there as there are road signs everywhere. The traffics also are much better compared to KL's.

Locating our apartment block (Santana Holiday Resort, courtesy of Leisure Holidays) also was not difficult. When we arrived, the unit was not ready yet. Sue, the resort Manager, suggested that we go get our breakfast first while waiting for it, which seemed like a good idea.

We went to a cafe nearby and ordered fish and chips and hot chocolate . .. Our first meal in Gold Coast..:) It was ok but we have tasted better.

When we got back to the apartment, the unit was ready. We were showed where to park our car and how to get to the unit. Too bad, it was located at the top floor (3rd floor) and it was a walk-up! So, getting our bagages up was quite a chore.

The apartment, to our surprise, was quite cosy. It was a one-bedroom unit that came with full kitchen facilities, washer and dryer.

Megat decided to go for a short nap. I thought it was a good idea, but ellix , being ellix, asked me to play with her. So, nak tak nak.. had to layan her for a while until my eyes couldn't tahan anymore. Told ellix that I need my nap badly. Surprisingly, she joined me and slept on my arm, as usual.

We got up around 2.00. Actually I woke up first and then had to wake Megat and Ellix up. Maybe it's the exciteent of being in a new place, I didn't have much problem this time.

We had quick shower, and by 3pm, we were already out of the apartment and headed to Pacific Fair Shopping Complex, which is about 10 minutes' drive.

We had our lunch (more like very late lunch) and then when to Coles for some groceries. Bought loads of drinks (juices, milk, choc milk, etc), some breakfast items, toilettries, etc. As usual, ellix took the chance to get something for her too .. one of the stuffed animals.. (we found out later that everytime we went out shopping, there must be something for her even though she insisted that..'this is my last one'.... ) .

By the time we left the shopping Center, it was already very dark.

Didn't go out after that. Still felt a bit tired.

24th June

Woke up quite late.. around 8.30. This time I had problem waking up both of them.

After I had showered, went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. By then, thank God... Ellix woke up and I managed to persuade her to wake her abah up... which she did in her own way... shouting!

While waiting for both of them to get ready, I planned for our itenary for the next one week.

Once breasfat was done, we went out to our first theme park... the Movie World. When we got there, the car park was already half full. Luckily the queue was not that long.

As expected, ellix was so excited. She kept telling us that so and so said we should try this ride and that ride (it seems that she told her friends that she's going to Gold Coast and two of them happened to go there before).

First we went to Batman's Adventure but we have missed the first two trips. The next one would be at 1pm. Ellix saw the Batman's spaceshot and wanted to go on it. Luckily it has height limit and she's not tall enough to qualify. If not, we will be in trouble. We have to company her to go on that dreadful looking ride. No way I'm going on that one and knowing megat.. he is even worse.

Next we went to Shrek 4D Adventure

MORE TO COME.....

Howdy Gold Coast!!

2007-06-21T17:37:00.000+08:00

Finally, the time has almost arrived. By this time tomorrow, I'll be on my way to Singapore and then to Brisbane. Our bags are packed and we are ready to go...almost!!!

Ellix has been counting days since a month ago. Every day she will ask me how many more days for her Australia trip. She even told us what she plans to do there. She keeps asking us to make sure that she gets to go to the beach every other day. Even when we told her that it's winter in Autralia and it's going to be cold, she said that's ok. She will be fine. Well.... ellix just love beaches. She can spend hours and hours playing with the sand.

It feels good to know that I will be away from work for a week. Free from the 'office politics' and free from all the problems that keep cropping up lately.

Can't wait to step my feet in Gold Coast!

Reminiscing the Past

2007-06-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday... what a day!

I guess watching Winter's Sonata had stirred something that I thought had been put to sleep long long time ago. It made me look back and reminiscing the past. It somehow saddened me and brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I cried. I cried for the girl I was 20 years ago. So naive, so trusting, and so easily broken.

A lot had happened to that girl since then. Most of the times she endured everything alone. Her life experiences taught her very tough lessons. From somebody so naive, so trusting, she turned into somebody who has little trust in people especially men.

What she went through somehow had changed her to who she is now. She has accepted the facts that people do not always get what they wish for or planned for.

I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine
I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind
I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, The New
I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You

Occassional Sob Sob Moments

2007-06-18T13:30:00.000+08:00

Whenever people talk about Korean drama, Winter's Sonata, without fail, will be mentioned. It was a hit in Asia way back in 2002.

I didn't have a chance to watch it before except for occassional glimpse, whenever I happenned to go back home early from work. But then last Saturday, a friend of mine loaned me the whole collection of Winter's Sonata after knowing that I have not seen it. Thanks very much Kak Ta! Apparently, if you love to watch romantic dramas, this is a must!

Finally, I got my hands on the CDs and there were 20 of them in the box. At least I have something to look forward to this weekend and the coming week.

After I finished the 1st CD, then I understand why it had become such a big hit before. The winter sceneries in the movie were so breathtakingly beautiful and the soundtracks.... gosh.. they just stay on and on in your mind. The story is one of the greatest love stories that I have ever watched. My eyes were practically glued on the TV. I was under a spell!

Winter Sonata is the kind of drama that makes you feel young again and makes you remember what it feels to be in love for the first time.... the bittersweet of falling in love. It opens up our heart about love and sacrifices and brings us down memory lane.

So, there I was .... I forego my sleep and other activities over the weendends... except for the occassional meal and bathroom breaks. Finally, around 3.30am last night... or rather this morning, I manage to complete the whole story. My husband couldn't understand what is so special about the movies. The dubbing was quite bad (yes, you can hear the mandarin voiceovers quite clearly) and the subtitles are terrible.

When I finally switched off the DVD player last night, it felt like I have been through an emotional roller coaster. I shed tears, I smiled and I felt kind of warmth inside of me. I can't remember the last time that I am this emotional over a movie.

Long Lost Friend

2007-06-15T12:56:00.000+08:00

Just now somebody who is very dear to me called. ... my best friend! I have not been in contact with her since 2002. I remember went over to her place with my daughter, who was not even 1-year old yet at that time.

Gosh, how I miss Ninie. It seems that there are so many things that I want to tell her and so many things that I want her to update me with.

I wish I can see her soon.

The Apple Tree

2007-06-12T17:38:00.000+08:00

The story below reminds us to love our parents while we still can do so. The Apple tree is so much like our parents. When we were young, we love to play with them. In fact our life centers around them. When we grew older, we left them. Most often we forgot about them and only saw them when we need something or when we were in trouble.

No matter what, parents' love see no boundaries. It will always be there, no matter what. Most parents will do anything and give everything they possibly can to make us happy.

Here goes....

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He loved the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow...He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by.......

The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come play with me," the tree asked the boy. I am no longer a kid, I don't ' play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money.....but you can pick my apples and sell them. Then you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples.

The tree was sad. One day the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me? "Sorry but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches off the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then.

The tree was lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was so delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am so sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat? " "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a very long long time.

Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy, but I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for yo u...." the tree said". "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" I am too old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything.....the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied "Good! Old Tree Roots is the best place to lean and rest on." "Come, come sit down with me and rest " The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears......

PM to Marry

2007-06-07T17:16:00.001+08:00

Yesterday Pak Lah announced that he has found a companion in Jeanne Abdullah. They will marry on Saturday in a private ceremony which will be attended by family members and close friends.

To me it doesn't matter that he is to be married to his late wife's ex-sister-in-law. that is his rights and his choice. He has every right to be happy and to choose who he wants to marry.

There was something he said, as written in the Sun, which caught my attention: "I believe GOD has created in your heart space for different people that you can love as much as you want. You can love your mother, wife, daughter at the same time, but you never compare between them. GOD has created within you the capacity to love and develop relationships".

How true the statement is and I agree with you Pak Lah. May you find happiness with the new love of your life.

Princess of the Day

2007-06-04T17:25:00.000+08:00

What a tiring weekend.

We went back to Kelantan last Friday for my sister's wedding. As of 1st June 2007, my sister has officially married and becomes Mrs Azaddin Zainal.

The wedding was such a lovely affair. The hantaran, which was done by my sis and her friend were so elegant. The pelamin, which were set at two places, were awesome. And my sis, never looked as beautiful as she did that day. Apa tak nya, she's the princess of the day.

Sis, my prayers are always with you. I pray that your life will be full of loving moments and I pray that your love for each other stays true until the end of time. Here is a song for you. I hope your husband will always feel this way towards you:

Can't Help Falling in Love

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I cant help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows
surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be

Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I cant help falling in love with you

Note: It is sort of our family song. We want to share it with you on your special day.

My sis and the bridesmaids.

My darling princess, Ellix

Sad News

2007-05-30T11:56:00.000+08:00

I received sad news today. A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with stomach cancer stage 3. The tumor has spread to lymph nodes and she was recommended by doctor to go for chemo to downstage it before going for operation.

A few of us who are close to her was warned not to call her until we have finished crying and until we are sure that we will not cry when we talk to her.

As usual, I thought I was strong but I still cried when I talk to her.

To Dahlia, be strong. We will always doa for you.

Men vs Women

2007-05-25T09:56:00.000+08:00

TRUE FRIENDSHIP

Somebody forwarded this to me. It's example of how men have true loyalty to their friends. The bonds of brotherhood... yeah, right... :)

Friendship Between Women
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Between Men
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

What does this mean? ..hehehehe

How to Compete?

2007-05-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

I'm cracking my head to help my HOD prepare proposal paper for increment to the BOD. Thanks very much Kak Ta..it's not even my portfolio... hehehe

With the recent change in ownership on 1st March 2007, staff are having a lot of speculations and uncertainties whether they will be better off or otherwise under the new management.

Staff has been asking about their benefits. Will the new management review the benefits? Will our salary be reviewed? When will we know whether we will get salary increment or not? So many questions and so little answer to give.

To top it all, the government has recently announced salary increase of 7.5% to 35% and a 100% increase of the cost of living allowance for all civil servants. Wow! how can you compete with that? It makes what we are proposing looks like a pittance. I guess after this everybody would be happy if they get to be a civil servant. Hmmmm....

Keeping a Relationship

2007-05-21T16:19:00.000+08:00

I received this through email just now. I do agree with what was written, to a certain extent. But then in life, we have to be realistic too. We do not always get what we want. Sometimes the one available is the best at that point of time.

Keeping a Relationship

It's best to wait for the one you want ...... than settle for the one available.

Best to wait for the one you love than one who's around.

Best to wait for the right one because life's too short to be wasted on just someone.

An African proverb state, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither one of you is perfect, but are you perfect for each other?

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?

communication
intimacy
a sense of humor
sharing household tasks
some getaway time without business or children
daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)
sharing common goals and interests
giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure
giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment
asking God to be the center of your relationship

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain replace thepassion.

"As long as we have memories, yesterday remains. As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have friendship, today is beautiful."

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out that you still care for that person.

I'm Hooked!

2007-05-18T14:05:00.000+08:00

I was on leave yesterday to settle some personal matters. Since I managed to settle them quite early, took the chance to visit an old friend and had lunch with her at City Square.

Before I left, we dropped by at a store that sells VCD and DVD and she introduced me to Grey's Anotomy. I was skeptical as I never had the chance to follow the series. But then she assured me that I am going to love it. According to her, if you like Desperate Housewives, you will definitely love Grey's Anotomy. So, I took her words and bought seasons 1 & 2.

True enough... the series are just awesome. I'm hooked and my eyes were glued on the TV all night long. Told my daughter that if she wants to watch her cartoons, she can watch it at the living room. Tonite it's mama's turn to use the DVD player.

By the way, it was just not me alone. My husband, who like me, was skeptical initially, was also hooked. We kept watching until almost 2am. It was with reluctance that I had to switch of the TV and DVD player last night.. or rather, this morning.

Now I can't wait to go home and continue where we left off ....

To UMI, With Lots of Love

2007-05-14T09:33:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, after finished talking on the phone with my mum, I felt the urge to cry and well... cry I did.

I guess I have not been a good daughter for quite a while. So many things happened and somehow it affected my relationship with my mum. It is not like what it used to be before. And the sad part is.. I have not done much to rectify it.

Even though she has never said it directly to me, I know my mum wishes that my life could be better. I can sense it from the tone of her voice and from the look in her eyes.

Someone said to me that a mother's love has no boundaries and no conditions. I agree with that. My mum never failed me.. not even once. She was always there whenever I needed her... regardless for whatever reason.

But then, it is sad to say that I am not able to do the same thing to her. I cannot match whatever she did to me.... not even close. I know I broke her heart countless times. I know she had, on many occasions, cried because of me. And I know she used to worry, and still worry about me.

Umi, maybe I am not very good in showing it but the fact is, I love you very much. I wish things are different and I wish I know how to communicate with you better. I have been keeping so many things to myself for so long that now I don't know where to start.

I know I have not been a very good daughter and I have hurt your feelings so many times but trust me, they were unintentional. If I could, hurting your feelings would be the last thing on earth that I would do.

Umi, there's no word in this world that can describe how much I love you, respect you and proud of you. I may not be able to show it but I know deep down in your heart, you know how much I love you.

Happy Mother's Day Umi.

Alfatihah...

2007-05-11T13:05:00.000+08:00

At about 3am I received an sms from a friend saying that his brother, Zul, who happens to be a good friend of mine passed away. Even though I expected this to happen.. I was still shocked. I called my sister and I cried. I called his brother and I cried. And I continued crying after that. His demise makes me think about how short and precious life is. You never know when your time will come.

Sometime in October last year, he was diagnosed with a stage 4 colon cancer. The doctor predicted that he had about 6 months to live.. and true enough... he lasted that long.

Zul was somebody who led a healthy lifestyle. He was active in sports, didn't smoke and didn't drink. But still.. ajal waits for no one. When your time comes no matter how healthy you are, you till succumb to it.

It's so sad to talk about Zul in past tense. I really admired his courage. He was an example of somebody who keeps fighting until his last breath. He redha with what happened to him and tried his best to stay alive.

http://zulrushdi.net/index.php

I know it is sad to see him go bt as his brother said in his sms to me, 'Zul dah tak sakit'.

ZUL, may you rest in peace. Semuga Zul ditempatkan bersama-sama orang yang beriman. Alfatihah....

Hmmmm.....

2007-04-25T10:12:00.000+08:00

I don't have a good day today. Last night something happen and it spoils my whole day. But then, what can I do. Things happened .. I mean $#?@ happened.

I wonder how long will I have strength to handle all these. Everybody has his or her limits... including me. I pray that GOD gives me enough strength and courage to keep going and holding on.

Sometimes I ask myself if my sacrifices worth it? Hmmm....

Rindu Ini

2007-04-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

Rindu ini
Ada kalanya amat menusuk jiwa
Menyentap gelisah kalbu
Merobek seluruh ragaku

Rindu ini
Seandainya bisa diuntai
Pasti terilham mutiara terindah
Penyeri segenap sanubariku

Rindu ini
Alangkah syahdunya terasa
Seandainya disambut mesra
Terubat gelora jiwa
Tenang segala gundah gulana

Namun apa dayaku
Tidak mungkin niat tercapai
Tidak mungkin dapat terluahkan
Walaupun bisikan cuma
Kerana aku hanya sekadar menumpang lalu
Dalam kembaramu

Happy Birthday to a Special Lady

2007-04-16T13:23:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, we (me, hubby and his cousins) went for Dim Sum at Sheraton to celebrate Tok's 81st birthday (it was on 12th April). I must say that it was a good one. Since there was no kids around, we had time to enjoy each others' company and not forgetting the food.

Talking about Tok, I must say that I have high respect for her. Even though she is just a small-sized lady, she is highly respected by the family members. The respect, I think, is not just because her late husband used to be Malaysia's IGP. But, in my opinion, it is because she has a big heart and she cares very much for her children.

I remember talking to her once about the family. She said, she values her family so much. She doesn't judge any of her family members and she doesn't talk bad about them either. She continued further by saying that she doesn't understand why some people can go around telling other people about ther family affairs (yes, the bad ones too). To her whatever happens in the family, remain with the family. To Tok, her family is her pride.

I wish when I am old like Tok, my family will respect me as much.

Ellix's First Cooking

2007-04-14T14:15:00.000+08:00

I can't describe how proud I am today. Ellix, who is not even 6, cooked breakfast for us. Yes, she cooked potato salad for us! Isn't that so sweet of her?

Well, she did not exactly did everything herself but she gave the instruction and the recipe (which she learned from her pre-school during their smart-cooking class). I was merely there to help her with things that she cannot handle:- using knife and using stove.

She had been planning to cook for us for about a week. Supposed to do it last week, but since she slept over at her grandma's place, she forgot about it. When we reminded her , she said 'why you didn't remind me earlier. I'm excited to cook for you and abah'. And trust me, when she said she's excited, she really is. She has been counting days ever since...until this morning. Even last nite she reminded me about the ingredients that she needs for her potato salad.

These are the ingredients that she used:
1. potato
2. spring onion
3. mayonnaise
4. salt

Her instructions:
1. First peel the potato skin.
2. Then cut the potato into small pieces and boil them.
3. While waiting for the potato to cook, cut the spring onion.
4. Put the cooked potato into a bowl
5. Scoop mayonnaise and put it into the bowl .
6. Sprinkle some salt.
7. Mix the ingredients togethre.
8. That's it. The potato salad is ready to be served.

Here are some photos of ellix cooking:

The Skeleton is Out!

2007-04-11T19:30:00.000+08:00

I have told somebody a secret that I have kept to myself for a long long time. It has come to a stage that I think I need to let it go.

How do I feel now? I don't know. The minute I hit the 'send' button just now, I felt like... there goes my pride. I don't know what that person will think after reading my email.

But somehow, deep inside of me, I sense a kind of relief. At least I don't have to keep thinking about it alone. I know it takes a lot of guts for me to let go of that secret. Whatever that person may think of me is secondary. At least I have let the skeleton out of the closet.

A Matter of Trust

2007-04-09T15:20:00.000+08:00

A Matter Of Trust :Billy Joel

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The core remains of what began with a passionate start
And they may not want it to end
But it will, it's just a question of when

I've lived long enough to have learned
The closer you get to the fire the more you get burned
But that won't happen to us
'Cause it's always been a matter of trust

I know you're an emotional girl
It took a lot for you to not lose your faith in this world
I can't offer you proof
But you're gonna face a moment of truth

It's hard when you're always afraid
You just recover when another belief is betrayed
So break my heart if you must
It's a matter of trust

You can't go the distance
With too much resistance
I know you have doubts
But for God's sake don't shut me out
This time you've got nothing to lose
You can take it, you can leave it, whatever you choose
I won't hold back anything
And I'll walk away a fool or a king

Some love is just a lie of the mind
It's make believe until it's only a matter of time
And some might have learned to adjust
But then it never was a matter of trust

I'm sure you're aware of
We've both had our share of believing too long
When the whole situation was wrong

Some love is just a lie of the soul
A constant battle for the ultimate state of control
After you've heard lie upon lie
There can hardly be a question of why

Some love is just a lie of the heart
The cold remains of what began with a passionate start
But that can't happen to us
'Cause it's always been a matter of trust
It's a matter of trust
It's always been a matter of trust
It's a matter of trust

Note:

Somebody once dedicated this song to me. It was posted by mail, together with two packet of 'Lifesaver'. When I received it, It really touched my heart. It was so sweet of him. Anyway, those were the days.

Somehow this song is still very meaningful to me. A lot of things happened since but at the end, it is still A Matter of Trust!

Key Ingredients

2007-04-06T13:57:00.000+08:00

Out of curiosity, I asked a few friends about the key ingredients to a lasting marriage. Some people say this, some people say that, but basically it centers around the followings:

- honesty

- trust

- respect

- committemnt

- understanding

- communication

Strange, only one out of 5 that I asked mentioned love.

I asked them what do they think of love? Don't they think that love is important to make marriages last?

I like one answer that was given by somebody who is actually younger than me (well, you don't have to be older to be wiser). According to her, love cannot survive alone. Even if you have loads and loads of love but if you don't have all the ingredients to support, it will die off one day. In fact, if you have the right ingredients, love can be built.

Emotional Affairs and Emotional Infidelity

2007-03-23T15:49:00.000+08:00

I came across this interesting article at http://www.pig-dogs.net/infidelity_advice_emotional_affairs.html about emotional affairs and emotional infidelity, which is becoming quite common nowadays. I know it happens to a lot people and it happens to the people I know too.

Emotional Affairs and Emotional Infidelity

Emotional Affairs and Emotional Infidelity have just as many negative effects on relationships as physical affairs. Coping with emotional affairs is difficult. This article explains just exactly "What is an Emotional Affair?"

Sadly, emotional affairs and emotional infidelity are becoming prevelant in the workplace and across the internet. The negative effects of having affairs on marriages is just the same for an emotional affair as any affair. Emotional infidelity is still infidelity, but just what is an emotional affair?An emotional affair is an emotional bond with someone other than your spouse. It does not have to be sexual, though usually there is a sexual attraction. Emotional affairs have the following characteristics:

Secrecy
Secrecy in an emotional affair takes various forms.

The relationship itself is usually kept secret from the spouse or significant other. If the relationship is not completely secret, the extent of the relationship is most often minimized and the details are kept secret. This can be just as damaging as a physical affair. Emotional affairs can have the same negative effects on a marriage as physical infidelity.

An emotional affair often involves, doing things and saying things they would not do with their spouse. Conversations and intimacy are on a level they would never want their spouse to know about or overhear. In fact, a good litmus test, is if you are sharing thoughts and emotions you would be ashamed if your spouse overheard, you have probably crossed the line that could lead to an emotional affair. You may be so emotionally attached that an emotional affair is imminent.

An emotional affair often involves the sharing of emotions, thoughts, fantasies, desires, and goals that are not shared with the spouse. The relationship doesn't begin with a desire to commit infidelity. Rather emotional affairs grow out of an emotional bond.

Often it is thought that because the relationship is not sexual that it is not an emotional affair is not an affair. This is not true. You take away from your spouse intimacy and the amount of energy you would put into your relationship when you have such an attachment to someone else. Emotional affairs are very slippery slopes often lead to a sexual affair as well.

Ultimately, if you are sharing details of your life with another person that you would not want your spouse or significant other to know about, chances are you are involved in an emotional affair. If you would feel shame to know that your spouse overheard or knew the true nature of the relationship it is an emotional affair.

Emotional affairs contain the elements of secrecy and deception and are as damaging and devastating (if not more) than a sexual affair. It's important to note too that some affairs are both - emotional and sexual. Emotional affairs are often more difficult to end, and for the betrayed, more difficult to recover from. A physical affair with an emotional attachment becomes the most difficult type of affair to end. Emotional affairs are very difficult to end the longer the emotional bond has time to deepen. As with affairs in general, the sooner the relationship is stopped, the greater likelihood for saving the marriage or significant relationship.

Another Visit to Doctor

2007-03-14T14:50:00.000+08:00

Went to see the doctor again. My coughing and flu is still bad. Now even my athma is getting worse.

Got another set of medicine. There are 6 types that I have to take. Gosh. I really pray to GOD that I will get better soon.

Attitude is Everything

2007-03-11T03:10:00.000+08:00

Many of you may have read this story before:

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING
By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers.

While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Petua Semulajadi

2007-03-08T15:31:00.000+08:00

Petua Cepat Dipinang (Ringan Jodoh)
Hendaklah dibacakan Surah Yusuf pada sebekas air yang bersih sebanyak 3 kali pada malam Jumaat. Air itu hendaklah dimandikan tiga pagi berturut-turut dan diminum 7 kali setiap hari selama tiga hari berturut-turut.

Penawar Resdung
Petua yang paling mudah dan berkesan ialah dengan mengamalkan menyedut air ke dalam hidung (seperti sebelum kita ber wuduk).Kemudian picit sebelah hidung dan hembuskan sekuat hati. Buatlah berulang-ulang kali sehingga selesai kedua-duanya. Selepas itu basuhlah muka dengan bersih. Lakukan ini setiap kali setelah sampai ke satu-satu destinasi, baik ke pejabat, bersantai, beriadah atau pulang ke rumah malah ke mana saja. Kesannya sungguh menakjubkan.

Melicin dan Memerahkan Kulit Muka
Ambil sebiji buah tomato masak, lecek hingga halus. Kemudian pupurkan di sekuruh muka. Biarkan mengering selama 20 minit. Bilas dengan air bersih. Amalkan seminggu 2/3 kali. Menegangkan Kulit Muka Ambil tepung ubi kayu dan mentimun. Timun itu hendaklah di sagat/dihancurkan terlebih dahulu atau dilumatkan. Kemudia campurkan kedua-duanya dengan air sedikit. Kacau rata dan jangan terlalu cair.. Selepas itu, sapukan ke muka dan biarkan ia kering. Kemudian basuh. Dengan cara ini ia dapat menegangkan kulit muka serta menampakkan keputihan di muka dan menjadikan kulit kita segar...

Menghilangkan Cagu
Perahkan sedikit air limau kepada kuku yg mencengkam pada daging (cagu). Biarkan selama beberapa minit. Jika boleh, potonglah kuku yg termasuk dalam daging tersebut. Lakukan 2 kali sehari dgn menitikkan air limau pada cagu. Cagu akan beransur pulih. Menyerikan Wajah Wanita yang inginkan wajahnya sentiasa berseri apabila dipandang bolehlah mengamalkan amalan di setiap pagi iaitu selawat sebanyak tiga kali sebelum mencuci muka dan sapukan air itu kemuka. Insyaallah akan berserilah wajah anda. Selamat mencuba.

Menghaluskan Kulit
Buah tomato dikisar halus. Lumurkan pada muka seberapa ketika. Sebaiknya dilakukan pada waktu malam kerana tiada gangguan. Setelah agak lama, cuci muka dgn air suam. Amalkan selalu. Buah tomato ini juga berfungsi utk membersihkan kulit.

Menghilangkan Bau Badan
Potongkan limau kasturi dan buangkan bijinya. Kemudian makanlah kulit limau kasturi itu bersama airnya. Amalkan selalu.

Badan Ringan Dan Bertenaga
Minum air rebusan serai dan halia (yg dititik), kulit kayu manis dan lada hitam. Jika kita meminum air rebusan ini pagi dan malam insyaAllah badan akan menjadi ringan dan bertenaga. Selain itu utk meningkat tenaga wanita, amalkan pengambilan 4 biji telur mentah sehari.

Melembutkan Rambut
Ambil secekak kangkung dan bersihkan. Masukkan dlm bekas. Bubuh enam camca air suam dan ramas kangkung hingga mengeluarkan lendir. Lendir itu sapukan pada seluruh rambut dan biarkan seketika. Kemudian bilas rambut dengan air bersih. Lakukan selama dua minggu.

Merawat Kulit Berkedut
Parutkan sebatang lobak merah yang telah dibersihkan, lalu dicampurkan bersama sesudu tepung jagung dan sebiji kuning telur. Sebatikan bancuhan itu lalu dioleskan kepada kulit sekali sehari. Amalkan sehingga berkesan.

Melentikkan Bulu Mata
Ambil daun lidah buaya Sebelum masuk tidur, sapukan lendirnya pada bulu mata Amalkan selalu hingga bulu mata semakin lentik

Menghilangkan Parut
Ambil sedikit asam jawa, kemudian ramas dgn mencampurkan sedikit air. Jgn terlalu cair. Selepas itu, sapukan pada tempat yg berparut. Biarkan sehingga kering. Seelok-eloknya lakukan pada waktu malam sebelum tidur. Insyaallah ia amat berkesan utk menghilangkan parut.

Melebatkan Rambut
Ambil daun bunga raya yg bersih, ramas sehingga keluar lendir. Ambil lendirnya dan campurkan dgn sebiji telur ayam kampung beserta satu sudu madu lebah. Gaulkan sekata dan sapukan pada rambut anda. Perap dgn tuala lebih kurang 10 minit dan kemudian cuci dan bilas rambut sehingga kering. Amalkan dua kali seminggu.

Awet Muda
Semasa berdandan di waktu pagi baca selawat Nabi di kedua tapak tangan dan raupkan ke muka berserta niat dalam hati supaya di indahkan wajah seperti Nabi Yusuf. Amalkan setiap pagi. Merawat Senggugut Ambil segenggam halia dan tumbuk lumat. Masukkan ke dalam segelas air suam. Apabila halia mendap barulah diminum dgn dimulai dengan selawat. InsyaAllah, senggugut akan hilang.

Kulit Cerah dan Licin
Ambil sebiji limau nipis dan dibelah dua Semasa mandi, gosokkan pada muka dan seluruh badan Insyaallah, kulit akan cerah, licin dan harum. Rambut Lebat Setelah selesai makan, basuh tangan dengan air sehingga bersih. Selawat 3 kali Tangan yg masih basah itu segera dilap atas rambut

Mengurangkan Dengkur
Tumbuk lumat tujuh biji badam dan campurkan ke dalam segelas susu panas. Minumlah beberapa minit sebelum tidur.

Menghilangkan Ketuat
Sapukan getah dari pelepah betik yang dipetik terus dari pokoknya. Titiskan getah itu kepada ketuat dan biarkan ianya kering sendiri. Lakukan beberapa kali. Ketuat akan mengering dan luruh sendiri.

Mengempiskan Perut
(1) Ambil air limau nipis dan campur dengan kapur sirih . Sebatikan lalu disapu pada perut kemudian ikat perut seperti perempuan yang baru lepas bersalin (bengkung) Jika tidak mahu bengkung, lumurkan atau sapu dekat perut sahaja, amalkan setiap malam.
(2) Asam jawa dan garam dibancuh dengan segelas air panas. Embunkan semalaman. Esok paginya minum air tersebut sebelum membasuh muka atau membuang air kecil. Mengelak perut buncit Sekiranya anda makan nasi, jangan disulami dengan air. Minum air setelah selesai makan Sebaik-baiknya minum 1/2 jam - 3 jam kemudiannya. Petua ini dapat mengelakkan perut buncit.

Mengekalkan Kecantikan
Kalau mahukan wajah sentiasa cantik amalkan surah Yusuf setiap malam. Di samping itu, untuk mengekalkan kecantikan, tadah air embun malam Jumaat dan sapukan ke wajah, dibuat air mandi ataupun minuman.

Menghasilkan Kulit Cantik
Amalkan meminum air campuran pucuk pegaga dan lobak merah yg telah dihancurkan .

Menegangkan Kulit Muka Dan Menghilang Jerawat
Rebus segenggam biji kani (manjakani atau kani boleh dibeli di kedai2 India) di dalam periuk tanah sehingga menggelegak dan pekat. Apabila suam, sapukan pada wajah atau bahagian kulit yg anda inginkan. Tunggu sehingga kering dan cuci sehingga bersih. Amalkan setiap hari. InsyaAllah kulit tegang jerawat tiada.

Menyegarkan Mata Gatal dan Letih
Ambil beberapa helai daun sireh muda. Kemudian, cuci bersih. Ramas-ramaskan ia dan masukkan ke dalam air suam. Selepas itu, tapis airnya. Selanjutnya rendamkan mata sambil kerdipkan berulang kali. Lakukan selalu dan hasilnya anda akan merasai perubahannya.

Menyegarkan Mata
Ambil timun yg telah dihiris Lekapkan pada kelopak mata Pejamkan mata utk berapa ketika. Anda akan berasa kesegarannya selepas itu.

Menaikkan Seri Muka
Basuhkan muka anda dengan menggunakan air basuhan beras yang ke tiga. Bilas dengan air bersih setelah sepuluh minit.

Merawat Panau
Ambil sepotong halia, tumbuk lumat dan tempelkan pada tempat berpanau. InsyaAllah, anda akan melihat hasilnya.

Mengelak Rambut Gugur
Ambil beberapa helai daun bunga raya dan lidah buaya. Basuh hingga bersih dan kisarkan hingga hancur. Perap ramuan di atas kepala selama sejam. Lakukan 2 kali seminggu. Insyaallah anda akan memperolehi rambut lebat, hitam dan berkilat semulajadi.

Mengurangkan Air Pada Faraj
Tumbuk hingga halus pucuk dan buah manjakani dan hati pinang muda. Gaulkan dengan minyak minyak bijan dan kemudian kukuskan. Ramuan tersebut hendaklah dimakan ketika tengah malam

Sihat Tubuh Badan
Setelah solat Subuh, lakukan senaman ringan. Hirup udara segar di luar dan jalan tanpa memakai kasut (Mandi embun).Geselkan kaki di atas rumput yg masih berembun .

Melangsingkan Tubuh
Dua biji lobak merah dan sebiji timun diparut dan diperah airnya. Campur dgn sebiji air limau nipis dan bancuh hingga sebati. Minum dua kali sehari. Amalkan sehingga mencapai berat badan ideal.

Menghilangkan Parut di Kulit
Tumbuk kulit kayu manis sehingga lumat. Campurkan serbuk ini dengan sedikit air. Bancuhkan bersama dengan bedak sejuk. Setelah sebati, sapu rata di bahagian berparut. Lakukan sekerap yg mungkin. Lama-kelamaan, parut akan beransur hilang. Petua ini juga sesuai untuk menghilangkan bintik-bintik hitam dan jerawat di wajah.

Mengelak Keguguran Rambut
Ambil lemak ayam dan masak sehingga menjadi minyak. Sapukan ke kulit kepala seeloknya pada waktu malam. amalan ini juga dapat mencegah kelemumur.

Menghilangkan Bau Ketiak
Amalkan semasa mandi, gosok ketiak di atas kepala lutut. Selain itu, setiap kali lepas mandi, sapu dengan belakang tapak tangan pada bahagian bawah ketiak.

Menghilangkan Kelemumur
Perahkan air limau purut/ nipis di atas kulit kepala Lumurkan rata-rata dan biarkan beberapa jam Utk hasil yg baik, biarkan rambut anda diperapkan dgn tuala. Basuh dgn air suam. Selain itu, petua ini juga berguna utk mengurangkan pening kepala.

Rambut Gugur
Rendamkan kacang hijau semalaman. Tapis dan gunakan airnya bagi disapu atas kulit kepala sambil dipicit perlahan2. Amalkan selalu hingga rambut baru kelihatan tumbuh. Di samping itu, elakkan mengikat rambut dgn getah.

Menghilang Sakit Kepala
Ambil daun lemuni (batang yg lembut sahaja) lebih kurang sekilogram. Masukkan ke dalam sarung bantal dan tidurlah menggunakan bantal tadi. Amalkan 2-3 hari dan insyaAllah anda akan berasa segar dan ringan kepala.

Menghilang Ketumbit Mata
Gesel 2 batang sudu. Sapukan bahagian yg digesel di tempat ditumbuhi ketumbit Lakukan sekali sehari sehingga ketumbit hilang. Menurunkan Berat Badan (1) Ambil 3 sudu besar serbuk teh cina dan rendam dalam air. Tapis dan campurkan dengan air perahan limau nipis. Amalkan selalu meminumnya 2 kali sehari iaitu sebelum sarapan dan sebelum tidur.

Menurunkan Berat Badan
Sediakan dua biji limau nipis atau limau kasturi setiap hari. Perah airnya ke dalam gelas yg berisi air sejuk. Masukkan ke dalam peti ais. Amalkan minum selepas makan tengahari atau selepas makan malam.

Mengatasi Tumit Pecah
Gosokkan tumit kaki dengan menggunakan belimbing buluh. Kemudian berus tumit kaki dengan berus lembut. Amalkan sebelum mandi.

Awet Muda
(1) Amalkan memotong kuku atau rambut pada hari-hari yg baik iaitu Isnin, Khamis dan Jumaat. Selain itu, amalkan menanam kuku/rambut yang dipotong atau gugur.
(2) Sejurus bangun pagi, sebelum mandi dan gosok gigi, amalkan petua ini. Urutkan wajah anda dgn air dari bawah dagu hingga ke atas dahi diiringi selawat nabi 3 kali. Amalkan setiap hari urutan ini.

Mudah Bangun Pagi
Sebelum tidur, tepuk bantal tiga kali sambil berselawat ke atas Nabi s. a. w. Niat dalam hati utk bangun pagi Insya-Allah, esok terjaga dengan sendirinya.

Menghilangkan Jerawat
Campur bedak sejuk dan asam jawa. Selawat pada Nabi 3 kali. Sapukan di muka dan di tempat jerawat Insyaallah, jerawat akan beransur hilang.

Meluruskan Rambut Kerinting
Perah sebiji kelapa dan ambil patinya sahaja Campurkan dgn air limau nipis. Simpan santan pekat ini di dalam peti ais sehingga atasnya menyerupai krim. Gunakan krim ini utk disapukan pada kulit kepala dan rambut keseluruhannya. Tutup kepala dgn tuala sehingga 1 jam barulah dibilas dgn bersih. Lakukan 3 kali seminggu. Anda akan dapati rambut kerinting akan lurus sedikit demi sedikit.

Menghaluskan Kulit Muka
(1) Bancuh sedikit asam jawa bersama air dan sesudu tepong ubi. kacau sehingga ia menjadi larutan pekat. Pupurkan kepada muka yang telah dibersihkan. Biarkan ia mengering lebih kurang limabelas minit. Selepas itu barulah dibilas.
(2) Didihkan susu segar atau pun susu tepong bercampur air. Biarkan ia sejuk. Lalu disapukan kepada muka. Biarkan kering lalu dibasuh dengan air bersih.

Memerahkan Bibir
Sapukan madu asli pada bibir tiap2 malam sebelum masuk tidur. Amalkan selalu. Insyaallah bibir anda akan merah seperti memakai gincu.

Memutih dan Mengilatkan Gigi
Ambil beberapa helai daun kelapa kering. Bakar hingga jadi abu. Gosokkan gigi anda dengan abu daun kelapa tersebut. Lakukan berulang kali dan insyaallah gigi anda putih berkilat.

Tegangkan Payudara
Amalkan meminum air kanji (air didih nasi) sebelum tidur malam. Insyaallah mujarab.

Hilangkan Pecah-pecah Di Tumit
Beberapa keping asam gelugur dimasukkan ke dalam baldi yg berisi air suam. Rendamkan kaki anda selama 1/2 jam. Lakukan setiap hari hingga tumit sembuh semula.

Mengembalikan Seri Muka Selepas Bersalin
Rebus beberapa tangkai daun inai dan minum airnya tiga kali seminggu. Seeloknya pada waktu pagi dan malam.

Menguatkan Gigi
Selepas membuang air besar, anda berdiri seketika. Kemudian, duduk bertinggung sambil dua tapak tangan mengetuk urat paha tiga kali .Semasa mengetuk paha dengan dua tapak tangan, cengkam gigi sekuat tenaga. Selepas itu, kumur air di mulut hembuskan pada dua tapak tangan ke arah muka.

Menghilangkan Bau Mulut
Tumbuk lumat sepuluh kuntum bunga cengkeh dan tiga ulas bawang putih. Kemudian gosokkan kepada gigi dan berkumur hingga bersih. Lakukannya tiga hari sekali.

Menghilangkan Lebam Mata
Teh uncang yg telah digunakan jangan buang. Lekap pada mata dan biarkan semalaman. Lakukan 3 kali seminggu ketika hendak masuk tidur.

Menghapuskan Urat Timbul Di Kaki Sewaktu Mengandung
Belah beberapa ulas bawang putih lalu ditenyeh kepada urat yang mula timbul. Amalkan selalu.

Mengelak Santau
Untuk mengelakkan santau melalui makanan, pastikan sebelum menjamah makanan ,rasa lelangit kita dengan lidah. Kalau lelangit tu terasa kesat tanpa rasa geli, jangan makan makanan/minuman atau pun tutup kedua-dua belah telinga kalau tak dengar bunyi berdengung, berhati-hatilah dgn keadaan sekeliling. Untuk mengelakkan santau melaui angin, jangan amalkan tidur bertentangan dengan pintu.

Meminimakan Gangguan Semasa Tidur
Biasakan bangun awal pada waktu pagi kerana boleh menyebabkan seseorang itu cepat merasa mengantuk pada waktu malam. Lakukan senaman kerana ia menjadikan seseorang itu cepat letih dan mengantuk. Hilangkan segala masalah dengan mempraktikkan hobi anda seperti membaca, bermain atau berjenaka dengan anak dan isteri. Ingatlah Allah sebelum tidur dan bertawakal kepadaNya setelah kita yakin dengan segala kerja di siang hari itu adalah ibadat.

Menghilangkan Sakit Kepala
Ambil sebiji bawang putih, hiris nipis dan tampal pada kiri dan kanan pelipis. Bawang tadi akan menyedut bisa pada kepala tadi dan biarkan semalaman. Hirisan bawang tadi akan tanggal sendiri apabila mengering dan sakit akan beransur hilang. Pelipis akan berwarna merah kehitaman tetapi akan mengelupas dalam sehari dua.

New Management

2007-03-01T13:50:00.000+08:00

It's official. The new management, new owner, has taken over the University where I'm working now, effective today.

To be honest, I don't know what to expect. There are a lot of rumours going on but I reserve my comments at the moment. I, and the rest of the staff at HR department are not in the position to say anything yet. Besides we ourselves are in the dark of what is going to happen, we also don't want to create any unrest among the staff.

I just hope that the new management will bring the University into a different phase. A phase where we will be more competitive and able to get more recoqnition from others.

Happy Birthday To me

2007-02-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

What and end to a beautiful day.

Except the fact that my coughing is getting worse, today has been a beautiful day for me. From morning till now, I have nothing to complain.

My hubby arranged for dinner at San Francisco Steakhouse. He invited his good friend and family and we had a fun time. There was even a surprise birthday wish and birthday song from the staff of the Restaurant.

As usual, if people ask me how old I am... my standard answer would be... "I stop counting when I turned 29". Anyway, like the saying goes, age is just a matter of numbers.

Congrats Sis!

2007-02-21T16:05:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday was a day to remember for my sister. Finally, her wishes come true.

The Meminang ceremony was a simple one. From our side, there were my mum, makcik Ainun & Pakcik Zainal (my sister-in-law's parents a.k.a. the spoke person), my brothers, myself and my sister. From Azad's side, there were his parents, his sister and brother-in-law and he himself. Although it was simple, but it was meaningful. And I know, it was what my sister had always hoped for

It was mutually agreed that the wedding will be held during the June school holidays. Our side will be on 2nd June and the other side will be on 9th June.

To my sis, Congratulations!!!

Que Sera Sera

2007-02-09T15:29:00.000+08:00

Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be.

That is what I should always remind myself whenever my head starts thinking about this and that. You see, I have this problem.. I wonder too much. When I start wondering.. my head will be thinking of so many things.... especially the 'what if'.

It is ok to wonder .. to a certain extend. It keeps the mind active. But then it has its setbacks too. Too much of wondering can affect the emotion and emotion can affect our lives.

Well.. the future is not ours to see. So, why bother wondering?

I Love You

2007-02-07T08:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes simple exchange of words can mean so much even though the words are repeated again and again.

Every night (almost) before going to sleep, Ellix will say her doa. After that we exchange these words:

Me: I love you darling
Ellix: I love you too Mama
Me: I love you more
Ellix: I love you much more
Me: I love you much much more
Ellix: I love you much much much much much more
Me: Why do you always want to win?
Ellix: Because I like to win... hahahaha

To Ellix: I love you so much. Much much much much much much much more than you can ever think of. You are my universe and I am willing to sacrifice anything and everything that I possibly can for you.

Technical Problem....

2007-02-06T13:47:00.000+08:00

I don't know what went wrong.

Tried to move my blogger account to a new version using google account, and suddenly I lost all my old profile. .. and it cannot be retrieved back. Now the profile shows that I have been on Blogger since February 2007 instead of February 2006.

Well.. it teaches me a lesson to be more careful next time. Do not confirm anything until I am very very sure.

*sigh*

Hadapi Dengan Senyuman

2007-02-05T08:33:00.000+08:00

I heard this song a couple of times before but never actually got the chance to undertand the lyrics. But then today as I was driving to the office, I had the chance to listen to it again on Hot.FM. I like the lyrics. I think it is very meaningful and somehow it gives me courage to go through the days dengan senyuman.

Hadapi Dengan Senyuman - Dewa 19

Semua yang terjadi
Biar terjadi
Hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
Semua... `Kan baik baik saja

Bila ketetapan tuhan
Sudah ditetapkan
Tetaplah sudah
Tak ada yang bisa merubah
Dan takkan bisa berubah

Relakanlah saja ini
Bahwa semua yang terbaik
Terbaik untuk kita semua
Menyerahlah untuk menang

Forgive and Forget

2007-01-31T17:19:00.000+08:00

"The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget."--Thomas Szasz, 1920

If I base on the quote above, then I guess I am among the wise ones. I forgive but I do not forget.

Sometimes I wish I can just let go and forget whatever that happened for not being able to forget can sometimes have its side effects. In most cases, it will result in losing trust. And, as we know, once we lose the trust, it is difficult to gain it back.

Reality Bites

2007-01-30T15:29:00.000+08:00

Sometimes the best decision made at one point of time may not be the best decision after all. And that thought has been bugging me quite a lot lately.

I have come to realize that I made a mistake by letting my heart and my emotion control my decision. And now, I guess I have to live with it. It's not easy for me to admit this but I know I can't go on living in my own make-believe world.

Reality bites and it leaves marks too. That is one valuable lesson that I learned.

Wall and Trust

2007-01-29T02:24:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down." ~ anonymous

I guess the quote describes me well.

I am not the type of person who can easily get friendly with people. I am quite conscious and I take time to trust people.

Past experiences taught me to be more careful when dealing with people especially in matters concerning feelings. That's why I have the walls around me. As long as I am inside the wall, I will be guarded and safe. Only the few privileged ones are allowed to come in.

I guess it is better to be this way than dealing with bruised heart. The more you open up to people, the more you are exposed to being hurt.

2007 Horoscope for Pisces

2007-01-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it is quite interesting to read what the horoscope says about us.

I happened to browse a few website and below are some of my findings. Of course some are quite straight forward but then some, I think, are written to confuse people, or at least to confuse me.

http://www.lesfemmescafe.com/horoscopeoutlook.html
Pisces
You turn a brand new leaf this year. You become more mature and learn from past mistakes. You will meet some interesting people and one of them might just become a love interest. Spiritually, you will feel especially blessed and protected this year. Even when you stumble you will get up and continue without any major brusing. You will get rid of those who have disappointed you in the past. You will do best when you keep certain aspects of you life under lock and key. Be yourself and let go of all things toxic. You and only you will rule your mind and body in the coming year so it's up to you to make the best of it.

http://www.astrology-love-horoscope.com/2007-horoscope/pisces-2007.php
Pisces 2007 - Astrology Forecast
2007 is a very important year regarding your career, recognition and social status. You worked hard in 2006, and you will continue with this custom throughout 2007. The difference is that now you obtain recognition and you will constantly be in the limelight. People will appreciate your efforts, you will expand your authority and power and you will be permanently surrounded by chance and success, eventually prosperous business.One area you should worry about this year is money. Expensive trips, redundancies, useless items, all these contribute to your losses. If you can’t manage all these, you will end up calculating your balance and realising that your expenses are higher than your income. However, a promotion is highly probable at your job, as one of your bosses appreciates all your hard work and encourages you to keep working as efficiently but from a higher-up position.

http://www.travour.com/new-year-2007/horoscopes-2007/pisces.html
Pisces" is the mutable water element sign. "pisces" is termed as the dreaming sun sign. Pisces is usually dubbed as "fish". They are called as the most matured of all sun signs. They are not only great dreamers but also idealists. This is a romantic and poetic sun-sign. The persons who are born within the time period of 20th February to 20th March are "pisces" people. These "Pisceans" are imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, kind, selfless, unworldly, intuitive and sympathetic. The "pisces" persons are escapists and idealists. They consist of innumerable sub- personalities. They are impractical, vague, manipulative, secretive, confused, weak-willed, immoral and greedy.

2007 will focus on education, travel, in-laws and legal matters. These above mentioned matters will be having a smooth sail throughout the year, especially in the first quarter of 2007. But things should not be taken for granted. Even great situations should be handled with lots of caution. If you are organizing educational activities, travels or rearranging your legal affairs you should delay these affairs for more auspicious times. Your relationship with an in-law might become confused for one reason or another. Unexpected gains will come your way through numerous avenues of life. This is a good time for investments and innovative ventures.

This is a period of major illumination in your life. Spiritual enlightenment is diffused in your life-cycle tremendously. The infusion of spiritual energies will provide you peace and solace. This energy will reach a high point by the month of September. A new person who steps in your life this year may radically alter your own approach to relationships. Even the way in which your life revolves might change.

There might be sudden difficulties on the health front, particularly to do with the nervous system. There will a steady flow of finances throughout the year. All "Piscean-s" beware of all the altercations in your life.

Emptyness

2007-01-11T14:33:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I feel so empty inside. It's like I don't know what is my purpose of living.

I'm sure GOD created each and everyone of us with a purpose. It's just that sometimes I'm not very sure what mine is. I thought I knew but when I think about it over, I feel so confused.

My Little Princess

2007-01-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

Nothing in this world means more to me than my little Princess... Puteri Ellixafira a.k.a Ellix. Just look at these. Don't you just fell in love with her?

By the way, she was around 11 months when these were taken. She's 5 plus now (it's more like 5 going 13)

Ellix is five plus and here are some 10 facts and info about her that I would like to share:

She can't sleep without her 'Jack' and she prefers the old and smelly ones (she has 5, by the way).
She wished that she is older so that she can sleep late like adults.
She can watch cartoons (and the reruns) for hours and hours without feeling tired.
She still hasn't developed the tastebuds for nasi with lauk-pauk. Still prefers hers with butter. Infact she prefers everything with butter...be it pasta, bread, etc.
She thinks she's English and prefers to communicate only in English. She only speaks Malay with maids and those who she knows can't speak English.
She likes to tell jokes because she wants people to laugh and be happy. She thinks people will like her more when they are happy.
She loves water. Can spend hours in the swimming pool...or even bath tubs.
She has a 'boyfriend' by the name of Mika. But now she doesn't like him too much as he has another girl. (Hmmm... girls be be girls...)
She refused to learn how to drive go-karts when asked by her abah. According to her, go-karts are only for boys. But, she doesn't mind being the umbrella girl...
She keeps asking her mama and abah to get her an adik so that she can have somebody to play with.

New Year...New Resolutions?

2007-01-02T15:23:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year!! Good bye 2006 and welcome 2007.

Looking back, 2006 had been a trying year for me. So many things happened that sometimes I wished I can forget that some of them ever happened. But I guess what happened had made me a much stronger and wiser person.

I hope 2007 will be a better year for me. There are so many things that I hope for but most of all I hope that:

I will be much stronger emotionally
I will be much healthier
I will be blessed with a happy family

And, of course not forgetting that I'm also hoping against all odds that;

I will be able to lose at least 10kg
I will get an increment that will move me to a higher income tax bracket
I will discover a fountain of youth that makes me look look younger each day (anyway, I stop counting my age when I turned 29)

Anyway, get real Nana....

Happy Birthday Dear!

2006-12-30T12:31:00.000+08:00

Today is hubby's birthday. Last night we (ellix and I) waited until midnight to surprise him with his birthday cake. And then this morning, my MIL called and invited us for lunch at SACC Mall.

To my dear hubby, Happy Birthday to you. My prayers are always with you. I wish you happiness always.

Abah in Memory

2006-12-18T17:12:00.000+08:00

Today is Abah's 66th birtday and it has been exactly 6 years since Abah passed away. After 1 year and 3 months of battling over colon cancer, Abah finally rest in peace on his 60th birthday.

I feel so guilty as lately I seem to spend very little time in remembering Abah. I seem to be engrossed with my own matters that I have been spending less time to 'sedekah' ayat-ayat Quran and prayers for Abah.

Abah, if you can hear me, I just want to say how sorry I am. It's not that I forget about you but somehow in going through my day to day life, I seem to be drifted away from you.

I dreamed about you about 4 nights ago. In my dream, you came to me and looked at me with a sad expression on your face, saying nothing.

When I woke up, I felt very sad inside. I keep wondering what is the meaning of my dream? Is Abah trying to tell me how he feels about me? Is he upset with me for not putting aside my time to remember him? Or is he sad with what's going on with my life now?

Abah, to be honest, I do miss you. Infact, I miss you a lot. Many times, especially when I have problem, I wished that you are still around. Somehow I have a feeling that things would be different if you are still around.

Tears welled in my eyes as I'm writing this. I have not cried for you for a long time, not since the day you passed away. That was the end of it. I guess I have cried enough. I cried when I received news news about you suffering from cancer, which was already at stage 4 when it was discovered. I cried when you went for your operations. I cried when I saw your frail body lying on the bed. I cried when taking care of you and saw how cancer destroyed your self esteem. I cried seeing how you suffer for one year and 3 months. And above all, I cried for being so helpless and not able to help you.

Somehow, today, I feel like crying again. It's not grieving for a father who had passed away, but grieving for a daughter who refused to acknowledge that she actually had not done anough for her father when he was around. I cried for a daughter who did not tell her father how much she loved him and how much she idolized him. I cried for a daughter who used to distance herself from her father because she was not able to cope with the reality of life. I cried for a daughter who did not seem to make her father proud of her.

Abah, I hope you can hear me now. I just want to tell you how much I love you and how much I miss you. May you rest in peace and may Allah bless your soul forever.

Al fatihah.

Lumut and Melaka

2006-12-12T16:09:00.000+08:00

Phew, these last 3,4 weeks had been very very hectic for me. I had to organize 2 retreats:- 1 for the operations and management staff and the other one for the academic.

Boleh lah relax sikit for a few days before start balik dengan my next big task... Performance Appraisal Exercise.

Operations Workshop 2006 (2-5 Dec):
Swiss Garden, Damai Laut, Lumut
78 Participants
I would say it was a good session. We managed to squeeze some budget to include some teambuilding session (led by En. Rosli of Dale Carnegie). As usual.. I had to terkejar here and there. Luckily I had a good team of repertoire and secretariat to support me. Thanks a lot guys. Would not be able to make it without your help.

Most staff enjoyed the activities planned out for them. Some even mentioned that we should just concentrate on the teambuilding activities and forget about all the presentations. Well... that is not for me to decide. I am just carrying out the request/instruction given.

The karaoke session was also great. Tak disangka-sangka, ramai yang ada hidden talents. We really had fun. And as finale, the President managed to come back from his trip to Penang just before we were about to leave the karaoke room. managed to let the hotel staff to hold for a few minutes and let the big boss sing the finale song... 'My Way'. Never thought that prof could sing so well.

Infusing Thinking Skills Workshop (8-10 Dec):
Melaka Watercity Resort, Ayer Keroh
80 Participants

Based on the comments, most participants were satisfied with the workshop. The sessions planned for them enable them to learn and share what they know. However, I wish the same can be said about the Hotel.

Well, Melaka Watercity resort is a nice place actually. But, the food there is terrible. Even the service was bad. I was very disappointed with the food and services provided, so much so that I had to lodge official complaint with the management. Food tak cukup, tasteless and worst of all, more that 1/4 of our staff had diarrhea. Habis all the medicine yang we all bawak in the First Aid Kit.

Even though penat organizing all those programs but when I received the thank you's from my clients (i.e. the bosses who requested the programs), I feel a sense of accomplishment. Despite of some hiccups here and there, the programs still went quite smoothly and they achieved their objectives.

The Meaning of Love

2006-11-09T15:49:00.000+08:00

I was browsing the Internet (http://www.akat.com/lovebook.html) when I bumped into this:

If you are looking for love, would you recognize it if you found it?
Can you tell the difference between love and infatuation?
Between love and attraction?
Between love and sexual desire?
Between love and friendship?
Between sex and intimacy?
Between a good relationship and one that is only pleasurable?

Now I wonder.....

A Holiday Worth Waiting For

2006-11-02T14:36:00.000+08:00

I wish I don't have to be back to work yet.

The 6 days spent in Penang was wonderful. We had a blast! Holiday Inn Penang was a great place for families. The room was nice and facilities are great. Ellix loves the kidspot. Once she discovered the place, she basically doesn't want to go elsewhere, except the beach and swimming pool. Even her meals were taken there.

Come to think of it, I think I would enjoy it as much as she does too, if I am her age. She got to do handicrafts, arts, etc, etc. She made a bead-necklace for her and a handpainted mug for me.

Since ellix is basically taken care of at the kidspot, that left my husband and I some time to ourselves. We could go to places that Ellix would compaint (because it is not comfy enough) without having to worry about her.

Too bad the holiday is over.

A Box of Kisses

2006-10-22T14:55:00.000+08:00

This is quite a touching story by unknown author. It makes me become more appreciative of what I have. Sometimes a simple gift can mean a lot because it comes from the heart.

Here it goes.

The story goes that some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, "This is for you, Daddy."

He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

He yelled at her, "Don't you know that when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside it?"

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,"Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy."

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

Counting the Days....

2006-10-19T11:47:00.000+08:00

Today is the 25th of Ramadhan. How time flies. Thank God this Ramadhan seems like a breeze to me. Sedar tak sedar, next week is already Hari Raya.

Since my mother is in Mekah performing her yearly Umrah (won't be back until the second day), we will be spending first day of Raya in Kuala Kangsar. Insyaalah, will be going there on Sunday. As Hari Raya most probably will fall on Tuesday, that leaves us with one day to jalan-jalan around Kuala.

After Raya prayer and function kat Istana, we will shoot off to Penang. Tak sabar rasanya nak go for holiday...the much needed holiday. The hotel rooms is booked and paid and our things, even though not being packed yet, are ready. I hope the 6 days 5 nights holiday in Penang will be worth waiting for!

6 more days to go!!!!

The House of 1000 Mirrors

2006-09-18T15:12:00.000+08:00

This is a Japanese folktale about how how we live our life. How people treat us and behave towards us is actually a reflection of who we are towards them.

Here goes...

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

The 90/10 Principle

2006-09-05T13:23:00.000+08:00

The 90/10 Principle by Stephen Covey

Discover the 90/10 Principle. It will change your life.

What is the 90/10 Principle?
10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react.

What does this mean?
We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us.
We cannot stop the car from breaking down.
The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic.

We have no control over this 10%.The other 90% is different. You determine the other 90%. How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light, but you can control your reaction. Don't let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.

Let's use an example.

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react? You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.
Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving atthe office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terribly. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is D.

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is what could have and should havehappened. Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, "It's ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time." Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on thebus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.

Notice the difference?Two different scenarios.Both started the same.Both ended different.Why? Because of how you REACTED.

You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Here are some ways to apply the 90/10principle.

If someone says something negative about you, don't be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don't have to let the negativecomment affects you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off! Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why letthe cars ruin your drive?

Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out.Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.
The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustrationon the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger. Why get stressed out? It will justmake things worse.

Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache. There never seem to be a success in life. Bad days follow bad days.Terrible things seem to be constantly happening. There is constant stress, lack of joy, and broken relationships. Worry consumes time. Anger breaks friendshipsand life seems dreary and is not enjoyed to the fullest. Friends are lost. Life is a bore and often seems cruel.

Does this describe you? If so, do not be discouraged. You can be different!Understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It will change your life.

Happy Birthday Malaysia!

2006-08-30T17:42:00.000+08:00

Happy 49th Birthday Malaysia!!

I am proud to be a Malaysian and there's no other place that I would rather be except Malaysia. We should feel blessed that Malaysia is a country where all races, creeds and religions can live harmoniously. We should be proud that Malaysia can sustain herself through all the crisis, regarless whether economically or politically without much major conflicts.

To all Malaysians, let's kibarkan jalur gemilang!!!

All Time Favorites

2006-08-18T12:53:00.000+08:00

If you ask me who is my favorite actor/actress, I have to say that it's Meg Ryan. I know she's not a Diva or something like that but I like her acting. I can watch her movies over and over again without feeling bored... especially when it comes to romantic comedies.

Here are five reasons why I love Meg Ryan:

Sleepless in Seattle is a light romantic comedy inspired by the 1957 film An Affair to Remember. Tom Hanks stars as widower and single father Sam. When Sam's son, Jonah (Ross Malinger), calls into a talk radio program looking for a new mother, Sam ends up getting on the phone and laments about his lost love. Thousands of miles away, Annie (Meg Ryan) hears the program and immediately falls in love with Sam, despite the fact that she has never met him and that she is engaged to humdrum Walter (Bill Pullman). Believing they are meant to be together, Annie sets out for Seattle to meet Sam.

City of Angels is about an angel who must decide if love is more important than eternal peace. Seth (Nicholas Cage) is an angel who hovers over the city of Los Angeles, listening to people's thoughts, observing their lives, and guiding them to the next world when they die. While Seth and his fellow angels try to offer comfort to people as they can, they are discouraged from direct contact with humans and are usually invisible to them. While at a hospital, Seth sees Maggie (Meg Ryan), a dedicated heart surgeon who attempts to save the life of a patient Seth was to call upon. Maggie is distraught after the patient passes, and her agony touches something inside the reserved Seth; he finds himself falling in love with her, and he decides to make himself visible so he can communicate with her. As Maggie gets to know the strange visitor in black who has suddenly appeared in her life, she finds herself torn between her new feelings for Seth and her attachment to her fiancé Jordan, a fellow doctor. Seth, on the other hand, has a serious choice to make -- between immortality and giving it up in order to know both the pleasures and pains of being a human being.

When Harry Met Sally is about two strangers (Billy Crystaland Meg Ryan), both newly graduated from the University of Chicago, share a car trip from Chicago to New York, where they are both going to make their way. During the trip, they discuss aspects of their characters and their lives, eventually deciding it is impossible for men and women to be "just friends." They arrive in New York and go their separate ways. They meet a few years later on an airplane and Harry reveals he is married. They meet again at a bookstore a few years after that where Harry reveals he is now divorced. From that point on, the two form a friendship. Eventually their closeness results in their respective best friends (played by Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby) meeting and falling in love with each other. At a New Year's Eve party Harry and Sally confront the complex tangle of emotions they feel for each other.

You've Got Mail brings romance and courtship into the electronic age of the World Wide Web via e-mail and chat rooms. Joe Fox (Hanks) and Kathleen Kelly (Ryan) live and work blocks from each other on New York City's Upper West Side. Their lives are practically intertwined. They both shop at the same place, frequent the same coffee shop, and even own competing bookstores on the same street. They also both have significant others of their own. Joe has the overly hyper book editor Patricia Eden, while Kathleen lives with the scholarly newspaper columnist Frank Navasky. Then they meet in a chat room. Though they keep their identities secret (they're known only by screen names "NY152" and "Shopgirl"), they tell each other everything about their lives, including their private feelings, which slowly turn into affection for each other. When Joe decides to open a new branch of his "Foxbooks" chain that risks putting Kathleen's "Shop Around the Corner" out of business, the tension between them escalates. Surely her boutique business will be lost to the conglomerate with a built-in newsstand and coffee bar. When Joe sees Kathleen waiting for him in the restaurant where they agreed to meet up, he puts two and two together, but cannot face her, given their agreement not to reveal each others' names and professions

When a Man Loves a Woman is about a family torn apart by alcoholism and recovering from it. Alice Green (Meg Ryan), a school counselor who has a serious drinking problem. Her husband is Michael (Andy Garcia), an airline pilot. Though she's lighthearted and loving, Alice is often reckless and, when drunk, even neglects her children, nine-year-old daughter Jess from a previous marriage, and four-year-old daughter Casey, whose father is Michael. After an accident, Alice realizes that she has "hit bottom" and goes into a clinic for rehab. When she returns home, she has kicked her addiction and has become independent and strong, and her perfectionist, controlling husband has trouble adjusting. Michael is used to his wife being weak and helpless, and they end up seeing a marriage counselor to recover from Michael's "co-dependency" on Alice's role as an alcoholic.

Each Day Is A Gift

2006-08-16T14:43:00.000+08:00

Today, happen to come across one story that I quite like. I think the story is so sweet. It tells about how we choose to live our life and how to appreciate what we have. Here goes:

Each Day Is A Gift by Author Unknown

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.

Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready.

As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen the room .... just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged, it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away, just for this time in my life."

She went on to explain, "Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you've put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing."

And with a smile, she said: "Remember the five simple rules to be happy":
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

Wishful Thinking

2006-08-11T10:37:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wondered sometimes why your life turns out to be the way it is? What have you done to deserve it? Well, I did and I still do.

I know it is not good to question something that has been given by GOD but sometimes I just cannot help it.

Maybe it's because I have my unfulfilled dreams and wants and they are still there at the back of my mind and inside my heart.

I may sound like I am not grateful for what life has offered me. Well, I am. I always bersyukur for what GOD has given me so far but still... there's a part of me that yearns for more.

I still wish that:

I have peace of heart
I have days are full of smiles
I grow old gracefully
I find happiness
I find contentment
I have good health
I find solace
I have trust
I have love

But most of all, I wish that my dream are fulfilled

Teambuilding Program

2006-08-05T11:02:00.000+08:00

Going for Teambuilding Program in about 2 hours' time and my hubby is not very happy about that. He kept reminding me not to overdo the activities as I had just recovered from my operation.

Well, I can't miss this. Had been planning this program with our new Head ever since I got back from my medical leave. I know this is going to be fun. And if things go well, we are going to adopt this module for all other departments.

A bit scared of the physical activities, though. There will be water activities, which is something that I'm not so keen as I can't swim. And then there will be flying fox...again something that I have never done before and quite scary to me as I'm afraid of height. But then.. there's always the first time for everything. We never know what it feels until we try it.

As long as I take my medication and be careful of what I do, I think things will be alright.

Cracked Pot

2006-08-02T03:06:00.000+08:00

The story below is quite common. I got it a few times in my email. Anyway, I like this story. It reminds me that each of us has our own unique flaws. Don't be ashamed of it. That is what makes us the way we way.

I'm sure we have also met a lot of cracked pots along the way. I had. Let's take a moment to thank all the cracked pots as they make our life more interesting and beautiful.

Cracked Pot

A water bearer in India had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carriedacross his neck. One of the pots had a crackin it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the endof the long walk from the stream to themaster's house. The cracked pot arrived only half full.

For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his master's house.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, itspoke to the water bearer one day by the stream.

"I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."
"Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"
"I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master's house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts," the pot said.

The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the master's house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some.

But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.

The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master's table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

Moral of the story:
We're all cracked pots. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are, and look for the good in them. There is a lot of good out there. There is a lot of good in us !Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. Remember to appreciate all the different people in your life!

Back to Work

2006-07-27T03:44:00.000+08:00

I'm back to work after 3 weeks of MC. It seems that there are so many things that need to be done. Sabar je lah. Buat yang mana terlarat je lah. Don't want to worry too much.

Luckily when I was not around my assistant was able to handle most of the simple and routine works. Kalau tak teruk jugak. Tambah-tambah the new boss ni (oh yes, our dept has a new head starting from 1 June 2006, just before I went for my operations.. which is a big relief for me as I tak larat nak jadi acting head lama-lama...not for HR!) expects a lot of things from us. And then he has a lot of plans that we need to carry out.

As usuallah.. after long absence from work.. it takes time to get back to full gear again. But then.. don't think I can do that. Have to speed up terus. Time seems too precious now.

Ellix Turned Five

2006-07-20T14:43:00.000+08:00

Yesterday my Princess turned five. Both my husband and I were on leave to spend some time with Ellix.

Time flies so fast. It seems not long ago that Ellix was a teeny weeny little baby. She brought so much joy to my life that I swear I will do everything that I possibly can in order to make her happy.

Ellix said she can't wait any longer for her birthday party. She loves parties and most of all she loves receiving birthday presents.

This year, my hubby and I gave her a pair of mickey mouse earings that we bought from Poh Kong, and another set of crystal accessories.... bracelet, necklace, earings and ring. She just loves to dress up.... as I said ...girls...

Family Day

2006-07-10T13:02:00.000+08:00

What a tiring day.

I know I shouldn't be going out too soon after the operation, but I cannot help it. I wouldn't miss going to my company's family day as I was among the group of people who initiated the preparation for the day when the idea was first initiated.

It's so good to see so many people enjoying themselves. Too bad that I was not able to stay for long as I realized that I got tired easily. I still have the stitches on, by the way. However, still managed to get my daughter to join the colouring competition, even though she didn't win anything. And, also managed to see the guys having fun in the swimming pool with their water polo games.