Sometimes life is just so screwed up so much so i wish i have a remote control and put it on fast forward mode so that I don't have to go through the sufferings. But then what is life without sufferings :(
There are so any things on my mind now but I am just at lost for words. Can't seem to find the appropriate words, sentences or phrases to describe what I am feeling right now.
Numb? Shock? Angry? Frustrated? Victimised? Despair?
It takes a while for reality to sink in and when it does I hope things will be clearer and I can see life again from a new perspective.
Till the time comes... I pray to God to ease my pain and make it more bearable to go through the days. I know what I am doing and I hope it is the right thing to do no matter how crazy it may seem.
Showing posts with label Sigh. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sigh. Show all posts
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
A Cursed Gift?
Is it a gift or a curse?
A friend gave the URL for News of the World regarding a Maths genius who used to make headlines before (note: some people may find the photos a bit offensive). Sufiah Yusof, who won a place at Oxford University at the age of 13, is now a £130-an-hour HOOKER.
At first I thought it was just one of the e-mail junks that people spread around. How could a brilliant girl, I mean really BRILLIANT girl ended up like that? But then since the news about her is all over the newspapers, I guess it must be true.
This is a reminder to us all. Don't push the children over their limit. They might rebel and do something beyond our imagination. Touch wood.
I still feel so sad for her. I imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes. She must have felt so suffocated that anything is better than being under the watchful eyes of her too domineering father.
A friend gave the URL for News of the World regarding a Maths genius who used to make headlines before (note: some people may find the photos a bit offensive). Sufiah Yusof, who won a place at Oxford University at the age of 13, is now a £130-an-hour HOOKER.
At first I thought it was just one of the e-mail junks that people spread around. How could a brilliant girl, I mean really BRILLIANT girl ended up like that? But then since the news about her is all over the newspapers, I guess it must be true.
This is a reminder to us all. Don't push the children over their limit. They might rebel and do something beyond our imagination. Touch wood.
I still feel so sad for her. I imagine what it would be like to be in her shoes. She must have felt so suffocated that anything is better than being under the watchful eyes of her too domineering father.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Is Ignorance Really a Bliss?
I am the type of person who is always curious to know more. Maybe it's my 'kaypoh' nature or just pure instict... but I always seem to find out about things. Sometimes I wish that I do not know certain things for I often heard people say that ignorance is bliss; what you don't know can't hurt you.
There is also a saying that goes something like this .. "the stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again."
So, what am i getting at here?
Well, I have been feeling quite down these past couple of weeks... *sigh*.. (I know it's not good to sigh but still sometimes I just can't help it). I don't know whose fault it is and I don't want to play the blaming game because at the end I always believe that if you point a finger at somebody else, the other four will be pointing at you. So, it's better if I don't.
This time instead of dealing with the problem the way I used to, I decided to just ignore it. Hopefully it will go away...... that's what I keep telling myself.
Some people may say that I'm trying to avoid facing reality. Well.. maybe.. but at this point of time, I think that is what I can and able to handle.
There is also a saying that goes something like this .. "the stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again."
So, what am i getting at here?
Well, I have been feeling quite down these past couple of weeks... *sigh*.. (I know it's not good to sigh but still sometimes I just can't help it). I don't know whose fault it is and I don't want to play the blaming game because at the end I always believe that if you point a finger at somebody else, the other four will be pointing at you. So, it's better if I don't.
This time instead of dealing with the problem the way I used to, I decided to just ignore it. Hopefully it will go away...... that's what I keep telling myself.
Some people may say that I'm trying to avoid facing reality. Well.. maybe.. but at this point of time, I think that is what I can and able to handle.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Farewell Friends
It is sad to receive bad news one after another (actually don't know whether it's bad or good news ... depends on which perspective we are looking at).
These past few months we have seen many of the 'old' staff left the company, and the number keeps growing. To top that up, two more tendered their resignation... one on Monday and another one yesterday.
I feel so sad because not only they are dear friends of mine, but they are also among those who I think contributed a lot to the company thus far. They are heading two important departments here, one is on the revenue and another on controls the financial matters.
In my opinion, they left because they are not happy with the current situation of the company(but of course, another reason is because the offer is quite good to just let it go). Since the new management comes in, many of the staff who have served the company ever since its infant days (including yours truly) feel that we are not being appreciated . The new management see us as a bunch of jokers, idiots who do not know how to do our jobs. Hence, the reason why they bring in so many people at the top posts... some are just newly created. No doubt some are quite good (even though not as excellent as they were portrayed to be), but some are still yet to prove themselves worthy of the remuneration package given.
It has been seven months since the new management took over but so far I do not see much progress been made... apart from hiring new people and transferring some staff to other departments. Changes to the structure happens so fast nowadays. If they think a person is not suitable for that department (maybe because he/she tends to voice out his/her opinion about how things should be done), then that person will be transferred (again.. including yours truly). Those who tend to voice out opinion are seen as pro old management and those who just follow instructions are noted in their good book.. regardless whether they can perform their jobs effectively or not. I think I know which category I am regarded as even though I have no such intention of going against the new management. Too bad for me, I guess. :(
The question is what happens to one's competencies? Doesn't that count anymore? Well.. let's keep our finger crossed that they know what they are doing. Let's hope for the best.
The new ones are yet to prove their worth. Even though we are just a bunch of jokers, we have contributed in making the company the way it is now. The company is able to survive on its own without help from previous parent company or any bodies, be it government or private. The new ones got it easy.. they come in with good packages and enjoy the benefits of our hard efforts while we had to sacrifice a lot.. no increments and bonuses for the first 2,3 years when the company was fist started....hmm.. it seems so unfair. I guess some people have all the luck. But don't forget, life is just like a rolling wheel, sometimes you are up sometimes you are down.
Most of us love the company and we don't mind growing old with the company. But from the way it is now.. I think it's time to update my resume. Gosh.. it has been more than 9 years.... :(
Meanwhile, to 2 dear friends of mine.. I wish you all the best for your future undertakings. It is sad to see you go. But then as I told you both.. in a way I am happy for you too... you are going for greener pastures.
These past few months we have seen many of the 'old' staff left the company, and the number keeps growing. To top that up, two more tendered their resignation... one on Monday and another one yesterday.
I feel so sad because not only they are dear friends of mine, but they are also among those who I think contributed a lot to the company thus far. They are heading two important departments here, one is on the revenue and another on controls the financial matters.
In my opinion, they left because they are not happy with the current situation of the company(but of course, another reason is because the offer is quite good to just let it go). Since the new management comes in, many of the staff who have served the company ever since its infant days (including yours truly) feel that we are not being appreciated . The new management see us as a bunch of jokers, idiots who do not know how to do our jobs. Hence, the reason why they bring in so many people at the top posts... some are just newly created. No doubt some are quite good (even though not as excellent as they were portrayed to be), but some are still yet to prove themselves worthy of the remuneration package given.
It has been seven months since the new management took over but so far I do not see much progress been made... apart from hiring new people and transferring some staff to other departments. Changes to the structure happens so fast nowadays. If they think a person is not suitable for that department (maybe because he/she tends to voice out his/her opinion about how things should be done), then that person will be transferred (again.. including yours truly). Those who tend to voice out opinion are seen as pro old management and those who just follow instructions are noted in their good book.. regardless whether they can perform their jobs effectively or not. I think I know which category I am regarded as even though I have no such intention of going against the new management. Too bad for me, I guess. :(
The question is what happens to one's competencies? Doesn't that count anymore? Well.. let's keep our finger crossed that they know what they are doing. Let's hope for the best.
The new ones are yet to prove their worth. Even though we are just a bunch of jokers, we have contributed in making the company the way it is now. The company is able to survive on its own without help from previous parent company or any bodies, be it government or private. The new ones got it easy.. they come in with good packages and enjoy the benefits of our hard efforts while we had to sacrifice a lot.. no increments and bonuses for the first 2,3 years when the company was fist started....hmm.. it seems so unfair. I guess some people have all the luck. But don't forget, life is just like a rolling wheel, sometimes you are up sometimes you are down.
Most of us love the company and we don't mind growing old with the company. But from the way it is now.. I think it's time to update my resume. Gosh.. it has been more than 9 years.... :(
Meanwhile, to 2 dear friends of mine.. I wish you all the best for your future undertakings. It is sad to see you go. But then as I told you both.. in a way I am happy for you too... you are going for greener pastures.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Reminiscing the Past
Yesterday... what a day!
I guess watching Winter's Sonata had stirred something that I thought had been put to sleep long long time ago. It made me look back and reminiscing the past. It somehow saddened me and brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I cried. I cried for the girl I was 20 years ago. So naive, so trusting, and so easily broken.
A lot had happened to that girl since then. Most of the times she endured everything alone. Her life experiences taught her very tough lessons. From somebody so naive, so trusting, she turned into somebody who has little trust in people especially men.
What she went through somehow had changed her to who she is now. She has accepted the facts that people do not always get what they wish for or planned for.
I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine
I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind
I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, The New
I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You
I guess watching Winter's Sonata had stirred something that I thought had been put to sleep long long time ago. It made me look back and reminiscing the past. It somehow saddened me and brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I cried. I cried for the girl I was 20 years ago. So naive, so trusting, and so easily broken.
A lot had happened to that girl since then. Most of the times she endured everything alone. Her life experiences taught her very tough lessons. From somebody so naive, so trusting, she turned into somebody who has little trust in people especially men.
What she went through somehow had changed her to who she is now. She has accepted the facts that people do not always get what they wish for or planned for.
I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine
I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind
I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, The New
I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
How to Compete?
I'm cracking my head to help my HOD prepare proposal paper for increment to the BOD. Thanks very much Kak Ta..it's not even my portfolio... hehehe
With the recent change in ownership on 1st March 2007, staff are having a lot of speculations and uncertainties whether they will be better off or otherwise under the new management.
Staff has been asking about their benefits. Will the new management review the benefits? Will our salary be reviewed? When will we know whether we will get salary increment or not? So many questions and so little answer to give.
To top it all, the government has recently announced salary increase of 7.5% to 35% and a 100% increase of the cost of living allowance for all civil servants. Wow! how can you compete with that? It makes what we are proposing looks like a pittance. I guess after this everybody would be happy if they get to be a civil servant. Hmmmm....
With the recent change in ownership on 1st March 2007, staff are having a lot of speculations and uncertainties whether they will be better off or otherwise under the new management.
Staff has been asking about their benefits. Will the new management review the benefits? Will our salary be reviewed? When will we know whether we will get salary increment or not? So many questions and so little answer to give.
To top it all, the government has recently announced salary increase of 7.5% to 35% and a 100% increase of the cost of living allowance for all civil servants. Wow! how can you compete with that? It makes what we are proposing looks like a pittance. I guess after this everybody would be happy if they get to be a civil servant. Hmmmm....
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Hmmmm.....
I don't have a good day today. Last night something happen and it spoils my whole day. But then, what can I do. Things happened .. I mean $#?@ happened.
I wonder how long will I have strength to handle all these. Everybody has his or her limits... including me. I pray that GOD gives me enough strength and courage to keep going and holding on.
Sometimes I ask myself if my sacrifices worth it? Hmmm....
I wonder how long will I have strength to handle all these. Everybody has his or her limits... including me. I pray that GOD gives me enough strength and courage to keep going and holding on.
Sometimes I ask myself if my sacrifices worth it? Hmmm....
Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Technical Problem....
I don't know what went wrong.
Tried to move my blogger account to a new version using google account, and suddenly I lost all my old profile. .. and it cannot be retrieved back. Now the profile shows that I have been on Blogger since February 2007 instead of February 2006.
Well.. it teaches me a lesson to be more careful next time. Do not confirm anything until I am very very sure.
*sigh*
Tried to move my blogger account to a new version using google account, and suddenly I lost all my old profile. .. and it cannot be retrieved back. Now the profile shows that I have been on Blogger since February 2007 instead of February 2006.
Well.. it teaches me a lesson to be more careful next time. Do not confirm anything until I am very very sure.
*sigh*
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