Fast Forward on Life

Sometimes life is just so screwed up so much so i wish i have a remote control and put it on fast forward mode so that I don't have to go through the sufferings. But then what is life without sufferings :(

There are so any things on my mind now but I am just at lost for words. Can't seem to find the appropriate words, sentences or phrases to describe what I am feeling right now.

Numb? Shock? Angry? Frustrated? Victimised? Despair?

It takes a while for reality to sink in and when it does I hope things will be clearer and I can see life again from a new perspective.

Till the time comes... I pray to God to ease my pain and make it more bearable to go through the days. I know what I am doing and I hope it is the right thing to do no matter how crazy it may seem.