Monday, December 31, 2007

Goodbye 2007 and Welcome 2008

2007 came and 2007 went, well almost... in about a few hours.

As 2007 draws to a close, and 2008 is knocking, at first I thought of writing about all the plans that I failed to achieve in 2007 in this final blog for the year. But then on second thought, I decided not to. What's the use of pondering over something negative when I have another year coming for me to do what have yet to be done.

Anyway, as for resolutions, I guess mine still remain basically the same. I'm still hoping against all odds that;

- I will be able to lose at least 10kg.
- I will discover a fountain of youth that makes me look younger each day.

Hahahaha...wishful thinking, NaNa.

Well, on a serious note, I would like to take this opportunity to wish everybody happy holidays and hope you have a great and prosperous new year. I wish that 2008 will be a better year for us all. May our blessings be too many to count and our worries too few to matter.

See you again in 2008. I'm off to Chorus Hotel for New Year's Eve Dinner and Dance. Ellix told us that she wants to go dancing (kids nowadays... she's not even 7 but behaves like she's 17). After calling around, we find that the Hotel caters for families and hopefully we are going to have lots of fun!

Friday, December 14, 2007

Is Ignorance Really a Bliss?

I am the type of person who is always curious to know more. Maybe it's my 'kaypoh' nature or just pure instict... but I always seem to find out about things. Sometimes I wish that I do not know certain things for I often heard people say that ignorance is bliss; what you don't know can't hurt you.

There is also a saying that goes something like this .. "the stupidest mistake in life is thinking the one who hurt you the most, won't hurt you again."

So, what am i getting at here?

Well, I have been feeling quite down these past couple of weeks... *sigh*.. (I know it's not good to sigh but still sometimes I just can't help it). I don't know whose fault it is and I don't want to play the blaming game because at the end I always believe that if you point a finger at somebody else, the other four will be pointing at you. So, it's better if I don't.

This time instead of dealing with the problem the way I used to, I decided to just ignore it. Hopefully it will go away...... that's what I keep telling myself.

Some people may say that I'm trying to avoid facing reality. Well.. maybe.. but at this point of time, I think that is what I can and able to handle.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Facebook and Headhunter

I have finally succumbed to Facebook. Registered about a week ago and I'm addicted. At first I thought it is just another networking tool like friendster (ok but more for youngsters) but then once I'm in it I realize that it is not that bad. Found a few friends whom I have not been in contact with for quite a while.

Anyway, now that I have explored the many wonderful applications in Facebook, life is back to normal. .. :)

In my earlier posting, farewell friends, I mentioned briefly about what's happening at the company where I'm attached to. Well, things are still the same and more and more of the 'old' staff are feeling somewhat demotivated. Many do not dare to voice out their feelings for fear of being transferred or put in cold storage. It happened to me and a few others and I know it can happen to so many others who dare to 'go against the flow'. Well, in my case it was not really against the flow, but more of questioning why it flows this way instead of that way.

A few of my friends left and I know more will be leaving too, if the opportunity knocks on their door.

Anyway, something wonderful happened to me last Thursday. I received a call from a Headhunter asking for my resume. It seems that they are looking for somebody to handle a portfolio that I'm quite familiar with and somebody recommended me.

It took me quite a while to get my resume done (gosh! have not updated it for more than 5 years). Sent the resume and now waiting for the results. Regardless whether I get the job or not, but I still feel good because somewhere out there, people still value my capabilities. They still know what I can do and have the confidence that I can do it well. It may sound pathetic but the fact is, that phone call really makes me happy. It's not so much because of the prospect of having a chance to get a new job but it is more of the fact that I still have my worth. That phone call somehow reassured me that I still have my value.

To be honest, even though I am not happy working here at the moment, but if given a choice, I do not want to leave. As I mentioned before, I don't mind getting old with the company. I have been here since it was still an infant with less than 50 people... about 9 years ago, and I don't mind going for another 9 or more years.

Monday, November 5, 2007

My Sentimental Moment....

I was sipping my latte at Starbucks Coffee, Amcorp Mall yesterday when something interesting caught my attention. Not very far from where I sat, I saw a couple, whom I guess must be in their 60's, and the way they were holding hands and smiled to each other while browsing through the sunday flea market stalls really warmed my heart.

Very seldom I see elderly couples, especially malays, walk holding hands like that. There was tenderness in the way they regarded each other and I could almost feel it.

How I wish I have that kind of love when I am going through my golden years.

I found this poem, which was written by Ana Castillo and I think it's very beautiful:

I Ask the Impossible

I ask the impossible: love me forever
Love me when all desire is gone
Love me with the single mindedness of a monk
When the world in its entirety
and all that you hold sacred advise you against it
love me still more

When rage fills you and has no name: love me
When each step from your door to your job tires you: love me
and from job to home again, love me, love me

Love me when you're bored
when every woman you see is more beautiful than the last
or more pathetic, love me as you always have
not as admirer or judge
but with the compassion you save for yourself in your solitude
Love me as you relish your loneliness
the anticipation of your death
mysteries of the flesh
as it tears and mends

Love me as your most treasured childhood memory
and if there is none to recall
imagine one, place me there with you

Love me withered as you loved me new
Love me as if I were forever
and I, will make the impossible a simple act
by loving you, loving you as I do.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Al Fatihah.. Dahlia in Memory

Around 3am Monday morning my mobile phone rang. When I saw the caller ID, my heart skipped. Immediately I was thinking.. "Oh, No.. please let it not be true".

My instinct was right. This friend of mine called to say that our close friend, Dahlia, has finally rested in peace at 2am.

Even though I sort of expected this to come, but still when the time came, I was not prepared for it. After a brief silence, I couldn't help crying. But I know this is the best for Dahlia. GOD loves her more and GOD doesn't want her to go through the sufferings anymore.

Dahlia was diagnosed with stomach cancer (stage 3) in May 2007. At that time the tumor had spread to lymph nodes and she was recommended by doctor to go for chemo to downstage it. Even though she did all the recommended treatments faithfully, unfortunately, it didn't help much.

I went a couple of times to visit her but somehow did not manage to see her during Ramadhan (still feel bad for not doing so). Tried to go on two occasions but both times I had to postpone as she was undergoing her chemo. Only managed to see her after Hari Raya on 19th Oct and I was shocked to see the changes in her. She lost so much weight and was down to 43 kg at that time. Imagine that much of weight on somebody who is 5'5" tall!

It was really sad to see a once bubbly and very cheerful person in such condition. After my initial shock of seeing how frail and weak she was, her mother asked me to sit on the chair next to her bed and I held her very thin hands. When I greeted her, I could see the effort it took her to open her eyes and look at me. But she did and she even managed a smile. After a while, she managed to say a few words to me.

I remember helping her to go to the bathroom and all I could feel was bones. It took a lot of effort not to cry in front of her. A few of us who are close to her promised her husband not to shed any tears when we see her and we had to honour that promise.

Before I left, she said to me to call her husband if I want to visit her as she will not be answering her calls. When I heard that, I know she wanted me to visit her more often. Luckily I did, almost everyday except for 3 days when I was sick. If not, I will regret it for the rest of my life.

A few days after that her condition got worse and on Tuesday, 23rd October, the family decided to send her back to Gleneagles Hospital as she was so dehydrated and weak.

When I visited her last Saturday, she was in so much pain. Her breathing was difficult, her face was very pale and even though her eyes were opened, she seemed like she was in another world. The doctors couldn't do anything much as they had exhausted all means and she was relying mainly on painkiller aka morphine. Visitors were not encouraged and we had to go in one by one.

It was a bit too much for me seeing her like that. I was in her room for about 5 minutes only and I quickly left and joined other friends outside the room. Seeing her like that drained all my energy. She was hurting very much and there was nothing that anyone could do except kept telling her to have faith in Allah and have patience.

I managed to hold my tears until I was safely in the car. I cried all the way home to Shah Alam

I thought of going to the hospital again on Sunday but I cancelled it. I didn't have enough guts to see her in so much pain. I knew I would breakdown and cry. I kept imagining what if I am in her situation. How will I take it? How will my family take it? The thought of her daughter who is only four years old growing up without a mother breaks my heart. She is too young to understand.

I prayed to GOD to ease her pain and give the best for her. Looking at her, I knew her time was very near.

So, when I received the call early yesterday morning, there could only be one thing. She must have made it.

According to her mother, she passed away in peace. She was calm. When I kissed and bid farewell to her before her jenazah was sent for burial yesterday, I knew our prayers were answered. This is the best for her. There will be no more pain for her.

I still find it a bit overwhelming. It is surely very difficult to say goodbye to a very dear friend whom I have known since I was 13. We were roomates back in our MRSM days, housemates when we were in States and housemates when we started working. We shared a lot of memories together.

To Dahlia dearest, you will always be remembered and sadly missed by us all. May your soul rest in peace. Al Fatihah.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

A Moment of Inspiration??

Today, at 21.21.00, the new darling of Malaysia Boleh, Dr. Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor will become the first Malaysian Angkasawan to venture into space.

Dr. SMS was picked by the Russian Space Agency selection panel as the first choice to join American Commander Peggy Whitson and Russian flight engineer Yuri Malechenko, making Dr. Faiz Khaleed the second choice.

I still have mixed feelings about this though. No doubt I'm proud that Malaysia's first man in space will put the country on the world map but at the same time I am not quite happy to see yet another millions and millions of taxpayers' money (including mine too!!) is spent on another Malaysia Boleh project. If only the money could be spent on other worthy projects that can benefits Malaysians at large instead .... hmmm...

While we Malaysians are so proud in calling him our Angkasawan, NASA referred to Dr. SMS as Malaysian spaceflight participant instead of Astronaut. What does that imply? Are we really ready to go into space or we go into space because we paid a huge sum for the ticket? Well.. I'm still not happy that the government spends so much money for the sake of having "this moment to inspire generation". And to think that there is a possibility of another mission in 2008 and 2007.....hmmm.. sigh!

Nevertheless, I still would like to wish Dr. SMS all the best. I hope he has a good blast-off and have a safe journey back to earth. Since Malaysia has already gone this far, make sure that the mission worth every ringgit and sen spent.

Dr. SMS is sure one lucky chap. He's smart, has a good job, he's good looking and to top that up.. he's single. Girls will be crazy after him. Even now he is already listed as one of Malaysia's most eligible bachelors. :)

By the way, guess what he's bringing to space?

Biryani Chicken
Satay Ayam
Rendang Tok
Sliced dried Mango
Banana rolls
Ginger Jelly
Roselle Granola Bar
Kuih Raya Bangkit

Got that from Dr. SMS's blog in angkasawan. The menu was approved and will be brought up to the International SpaceStation (ISS). All this while I thought they only eat the energy bars...hehehehe. Anyway, at least he's going to have a good Raya up in the space.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Farewell Friends

It is sad to receive bad news one after another (actually don't know whether it's bad or good news ... depends on which perspective we are looking at).

These past few months we have seen many of the 'old' staff left the company, and the number keeps growing. To top that up, two more tendered their resignation... one on Monday and another one yesterday.

I feel so sad because not only they are dear friends of mine, but they are also among those who I think contributed a lot to the company thus far. They are heading two important departments here, one is on the revenue and another on controls the financial matters.

In my opinion, they left because they are not happy with the current situation of the company(but of course, another reason is because the offer is quite good to just let it go). Since the new management comes in, many of the staff who have served the company ever since its infant days (including yours truly) feel that we are not being appreciated . The new management see us as a bunch of jokers, idiots who do not know how to do our jobs. Hence, the reason why they bring in so many people at the top posts... some are just newly created. No doubt some are quite good (even though not as excellent as they were portrayed to be), but some are still yet to prove themselves worthy of the remuneration package given.

It has been seven months since the new management took over but so far I do not see much progress been made... apart from hiring new people and transferring some staff to other departments. Changes to the structure happens so fast nowadays. If they think a person is not suitable for that department (maybe because he/she tends to voice out his/her opinion about how things should be done), then that person will be transferred (again.. including yours truly). Those who tend to voice out opinion are seen as pro old management and those who just follow instructions are noted in their good book.. regardless whether they can perform their jobs effectively or not. I think I know which category I am regarded as even though I have no such intention of going against the new management. Too bad for me, I guess. :(

The question is what happens to one's competencies? Doesn't that count anymore? Well.. let's keep our finger crossed that they know what they are doing. Let's hope for the best.

The new ones are yet to prove their worth. Even though we are just a bunch of jokers, we have contributed in making the company the way it is now. The company is able to survive on its own without help from previous parent company or any bodies, be it government or private. The new ones got it easy.. they come in with good packages and enjoy the benefits of our hard efforts while we had to sacrifice a lot.. no increments and bonuses for the first 2,3 years when the company was fist started....hmm.. it seems so unfair. I guess some people have all the luck. But don't forget, life is just like a rolling wheel, sometimes you are up sometimes you are down.

Most of us love the company and we don't mind growing old with the company. But from the way it is now.. I think it's time to update my resume. Gosh.. it has been more than 9 years.... :(

Meanwhile, to 2 dear friends of mine.. I wish you all the best for your future undertakings. It is sad to see you go. But then as I told you both.. in a way I am happy for you too... you are going for greener pastures.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Ramadhan Tag

I was tagged by guile. It was a bit difficult to choose the best 5 as I lurve food.... hehehe. Anyway, this one is for you dear.


  1. Laksam (especially if cooked by my Umi)
  2. Dim sum
  3. Bread and butter pudding (nothing beats the one served at Alexis)
  4. Fajita
  5. Chili Crab (from Fatty Crab kat Taman Megah)


  1. Uncle Lim's roti bakar and half-boiled egg
  2. Nasi dagang
  3. Fried tanghoon kurang pedas
  4. Roti Jala
  5. Capati


  1. Popiah basah (with the crispy thingy inside)
  2. Tepung pelita
  3. Ikan terubuk bakar
  4. Udang masak lemak
  5. Nasi kerabu


  1. Honey dew bubble tea
  2. Fruit juice (anything.. as long as fresh juice)
  3. Barley panas
  4. Teh tarik
  5. Hot chocolate with marshmallow

Finally.. I'm done. Now I would like to pass the baton to:

  1. Axa ~ Malam pun tak pe as long as you do it
    Zawi ~ Can't wait to see your choice of food.. :)
  2. Anne ~ Hope you don't forget your ID and pasword this time..hehehehe.
  3. Mcbudu ~ hope you don't mind doing this.
  4. Ku_am ~ I know you are very busy but I still insist that you do it for me. You have not blogged for quite a while.

Have fun guys.. :)

Friday, September 28, 2007

Being Human

I have not done Tahajjud prayer for quite a long time and alhamdulillah last night I was able to.

I don't know why but as I sat on the sejadah reciting my doa, I felt the urge to cry and cry I did. I cried and cried until my eyes were all puffy.

I felt so small, so humble and so helpless.

I prayed that Allah will forgive me for not being thankful enough for all the Rahmat bestowed upon me. I realize that I have been so self-centered and always ask for more while giving so little in return.

As I wrote in my earlier posting, I wonder too much and often ask why I don't get what I wish for, why my dreams are not fulfilled, and why certain things in life do not go as planned.

Now I'm beginning to come to terms with that and redha with whatever that I have at the moment. I am still far better off compared to million others in this world. Here I am wondering why I don't get this and that while others who are less fortunate than me are thinking about how to survive at this very moment.

Ya Allah.. please give me strength to go through this life. I am just a human being with a lot of imperfections.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

My Proud Moment

I am beaming with pride.

So far Ellix has managed to do her half-day fasting for about 7 days already. What makes us so proud is the fact that we never asked her to but she does it out of her own will. We just explained to her what puasa means and why Muslims are required to puasa during ramadhan. We told her that it is not compulsory for kids to puasa but it will good if they do.

The first time Ellix told me that she puasa and did not eat until she got back home from her Kindie, I really thanked God. Even though it was only half a day, it is better than nothing. It's a start!

I, in a way, wondered what makes her decided to fast. Somehow I was sure it's not from the pep-talk that I had with her. Later I found out that she decided to puasa because her close Kindie friends who are muslim mostly puasa and did not eat during break. She further said that "Mama, the teacher did not scold us for not eating and did not ask us to stand at a corner this time. She let us play while others eat".

Hmm.. as I said before, Ellix will always be Ellix.
- Given the choice of eating and playing, she would definitely choose to play.
- She succumbs to peer pressure. But, hey.. I don't mind. This is a good peer pressure.

I thank God for the rahmat bestowed upon me thus far. Looking at her now makes me realize that, despite having so many unfulfilled wishes, life is not that bad after all.

Monday, September 24, 2007

There Goes.....

Oh my... I have ruined my diet over the weekend.

Sometimes I think it's better to just let my maid doing all the cooking because somehow the taste is not the same as when I cook myself. Even though I very seldom cook, but when I do, it's finger licking good... according to hubby (who else...hehehehe). And unlike some people who do not like to eat what they cook, it is not the same in my case. It makes me eat more because I get the exact taste that I want. :)

Anyway.. the culprits are:

Saturday: rendang campur (daging, hati and paru), nasi himpit and kuah kacang. I'm not trying to boast, but they are really yummy. It's really worth waking up early to go to the wet market to get all the ingredients.

Sunday: Ayam Masak lemak cili api, sambal tempoyak, pucuk paku goreng, telur bungkus and ikan masin. Even though they are simple food, but trust me.. can't stop once I started eating.

Hmmm.... I guess I will just have capati for tonite's berbuka.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Ramadhan Comes Again

Come Ramadhan and Umi is off to Mekah for her Umrah again (12.40am, 11 September 2007 to be exact).

Ever since arwah my dad passed away in 2000 (on the 25th day of Ramadhan), Umi will spend the whole of Ramadhan there and will only be back on the first day of Raya or a day before.

Umi once told us that she will be at peace when she's in Mekah. She feels closer to arwah Abah there.

I remember talking to Umi a couple of weeks ago about Abah and from the expression on her face I can sense how much she misses Abah and how great her love is for him. Her eyes still watered whenever she talks about him.

I guess I am blessed with parents who share the kind of love and respect for each other that some of us can only wish we could have. Their love goes beyond the test of time and their wish is to be together dunia and akhirat.

Anyway, Selamat Berpuasa to all and may your blessings be too many to count and your worries too few to matter.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Understanding Women

I wonder why some men find it difficult to understand women. Even those who have been married for more than a decade also sometimes complained that they do not understand why suddenly the wives gave them the 'long face' when they said something.

According to them, why can't women just say out loud what they really meant, rather than let the men get involve in the guessing game and try to figure out the 'real' meaning.

Come on guys, get real. I don't think it is difficult to understand what we are trying to say. You just need to get your brain to work harder and be more creative. :)

Anyway, in case you are still wondering how to understand the hidden meaning, below are a list of Woman's Vocabulary, Keywords and Meanings for your fun reference.

This is the word we use at the end of any argument in which we feel we are right, but need to shut you up.
NEVER use 'Fine' to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.

This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

gain, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

This word followed by any statement is trouble.Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night". If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine"when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead-in to a sentence usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows and a "Go ahead," followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about them.

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before visiting on you major retribution and tribulations for what ever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint, just say you're welcome.

This is much different than "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

See... it's not that difficult, right?

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


Malaysia is going to be 50 soon and everywhere (well.. almost) people are talking about the meaning of merdeka and patriotism.

I remember not very long ago omebody used to say that I am not very patriotic.

  1. I find it easier to express myself in English compared to Bahasa... especially when I am angry.
  2. As much as I try to support made in Malaysia products, I still prefer tobuy imported ones whenever possible.
  3. I prefer to listen to Mariah Carey, Gwen Steffani, Norah Jones compared to our local artists...except, Sheila Majid, of course.

Well, I was quite hurt at first when I heard that but after reconsidering it, maybe there's some truth in it. I'm not saying that I agree with the statement about not being patriotic, it's just that I couldn't help but say yes to the fact that my level of patriotism can be further improved.

Nevertheless, that doesn't mean that I do not love Malaysia. I do. In fact, I love Malaysia very much and there is no place in this world that I would rather be except Malaysia. Ye lah... only in Malaysia can you get nasi lemak and teh tarik at 2 o'clock in the morning ..... :)

Anyway, talking about merdeka, one thing that I like about the merdeka celebration besides the fireworks is the advertisements on TV (yes, you read it correctly... Advertisements!), especially the one by Petronas. Every year on all occasions celebrated by Malaysians, Petronas never failed to produce great advertisement. They people behind it (especially Yasmin Ahmad) always come up with creative ideas that will have impact on the viewers.

I particularly like the one about a man who is building a boat for his friend, with the message "Can what we build today take us into tomorrow?".

How very true. Sad to say, there are still a lot of Malaysians out there who are still still lazy and try to find short cuts in whatever they do without realizing that at the end of the day, they are the one who is at the losing end. They still rely on the 'subsidy' by the government as though it is their birth right.

Kudos to Yasmin and her team!

Anyway, to all Malaysians, Selamat Hari Merdeka.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Rebuilding Trust

I found this article while browsing on the net (

When infidelity, lies or broken promises invade a marriage, the trust between husband and wife is severely damaged. However, this doesn't mean that the marital relationship can't be saved.
When your spouse has done something to break the trust between two, rebuilding trust in your marriage can be difficult. Here are suggestions on how to on rebuild trust.

Difficulty: Hard

Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

  • Make a decision to love by trying to let go of the past. Stop obsessing about the situation which broke the trust between you and your spouse.
  • Decide to forgive or to be forgiven.
  • If you are the one in your marriage who lied, cheated, etc. show that the errant behavior is gone by changing your behaviors. That means no more secrets, lies, infidelity, etc.
    Together, set specific goals for getting your marriage back on track.
  • Both of you must renew your commitment to your marriage and one another.
  • The wounded spouse must share the pain. The other spouse must acknowledge the hurt caused by the devastating experience of being lied to or cheated on.
  • Listen completely to one another and with your heart, not just your head.
  • Be honest.
  • Avoid using words that can trigger conflict. Use non-blaming 'I' statements and don't say always, must, never, or should.
  • Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
  • Be open to seeking counseling to have a better understanding into what caused the trust to be broken.
  • Remind one another that you each deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the affair or betrayal.


  • Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time. It won't happen over night.
  • It's okay to remember the incidents and the betrayal. You may not forget what happened, but the pain will eventually go away.
  • Be aware of your feelings and share your feelings with one another.

What You Need:

  • Time
  • Patience
  • Honesty
  • Commitment to your marriage
  • Love
  • Forgiveness

Note: Well.... as it says, it is not easy. I know so. :(

Friday, August 24, 2007

What's In A Smile

I was engaged on a telephone conversation just now. The caller was asking for some information. I wanted to transfer the call to the person in-charged but since the line was engaged, I entertained the caller myself. At the end of the conversation, he thanked me for the information and complimented on how helpful I had been. He went further by saying 'I can see the smile in your voice'.

Hmmm.. isn't that nice? I make my day by being nice to somebody. And.. it's not difficult at all. I treated the calller the same way as how I want to be treated. To me a smile worth a thousand words.

A smile is one of the greatest gifts you can give somebody. Likewise, it's also one of the greatest gifts to receive. It is something that is understood universally. Somebody used to say that 'a smile is the original form of instant messaging, a smile is ageless and it never goes out of style'.

So, don't you think that life be better if we all smiled more?

It takes nearly three times the number of muscles to frown as it does to smile. Frowning requires forty-three, while smiling asks only seventeen to help out. So, stop working so hard!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Beauty: Inner or Outer?

We often hear people say beauty is skin deep and a person should be judged by her inner beauty. .

Well, ideally, yes.... if we live in a perfect world. But since we know that nothing is perfect in this world, then most of the time, people are judged by what can be seen from the outer layer first.

Somehow, even though we were taught not to judge a book by its cover, many people still tend to do that. I don't blame them. I used to be like that too (when I was much much younger). You see, I grew up reading fairy tales and stories about princesses who are described as beautiful and princes who are charming and handsome. And in all the stories, they live happily ever after.

So I thought, well.. if you are beautiful, then you must be nice and kind hearted too.

I found out much later that it is not always the truth. There are many people who are not blessed with a pretty face but they have heart of an angel. Likewise, some people can be very pretty at the outside but at the same time they can be evil hearted.

But then whether we like it or not, first impression matters and if we happen to have outer beauty, then we pass the first hurdle.

Hmm.. no wonder people are going for plastic surgeries, liposuction, etc.

But really, I wonder why some people can be so shallow and look at the outer layer rather than the inner part, especially when it comes to relationship. A person can be very pretty or handsome but if we cannot have a decent conversation or cannot get along well with him or her, what's the point?

"When there is outer beauty, one’s mind is happy. When there is inner beauty one’s soul is happy. Only when there is a balance between these two can there be harmony at a place or between two hearts"

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


Hmmm.. today I guess I have succumbed myself to the temptations. Why do I say that?

1. I thought of fasting today (alhamdulillah.. lately I find solace and peace when I fast. So, been fasting almost everyday during weekdays)... but then I decided not to.
2. Spotted a pair of shoes that I know I must have. Tried it on and bought it. Well... I have broken my promise not to be an impulse shopper.
3. Extended my lunch break... something that have not done for quite some time. Been quite busy these past few weeks. Luckily nobody really noticed me coming back late to the office with the shopping bag.

Whatever it is, it sure feels good not to go according to plans.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Mars Vs. Venus

I happen to come across this story which I find quite interesting. It depicts the differences between men and women. It may seem a bit extreme but when you really think about it, well... it does make sense.

A lot of times couples break up because of miscommunication. What men think and what women think sometimes can be very different. As Dr. John Gray said, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus.

Here goes....

The Difference Between Men & Women
By Humor Columnist Dave Berry

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence.

She thinks to herself: gee, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Roger is thinking: gosh. Six months?

And Elaine is thinking: but, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Roger is thinking... so that means it was... let's see... February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way over due for an oil change here!

And Elaine is thinking: he's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: and I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a darn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Elaine is thinking: he's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Roger is thinking: they'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumbags.

And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, school girl romantic fantasy.

And Roger is thinking: warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up..."

Roger," Elaine says aloud.

"What?" says Roger, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Roger.

"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs...

"I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Roger.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.

"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says.

There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.

"Yes," he says.

Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.

"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Roger.

"That way about time," says Elaine.

"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."

Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.

"Thank you, Roger," she says.

"Thank you," says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a re-run of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of.

A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:

"Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?"

Thursday, August 16, 2007


Had just finished moving my things to my new place (with the help from the facilities guys, of course). As of yesterday, I am officially with my new department.

I am looking forward to my new task with this department. It is more relevant to my experiences and something that I love to do. I know it's not going to be easy as we have to start everything from scratch.. new mission, vision, directions, goals, etc.. but it's something that I think will be worth the effort.

In a way it's like hijrah. Go to a new place and do something new.

Hope things will be ok.

Mind Boggling, Eyes Popping Jigsaw Puzzle

Yes, that is what I would describe the jigsaw puzzle game which was held yesterday.

We were given 750 pieces jigsaw puzzle and one and half hours of time. Each team has 5 members.

When I signed up I was thinking 'how bad can it be, especially when you are not doing it alone'. Well, it was bad. The one we got was a picture of a building and even though we could separate the colors, they were all so confusing... especially when we were under pressure to beat the time. To make things worse, some teams had their own strategy. They had their 'secret weapons' to come and try to disturb us and make us lost our concentration.

The game was really fun... imagine adults behaving like kids...hahahaha.

The results.. were were in the 3rd place... out of 8 teams. Not bad, I would say.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Stress Pictures

These pictures below are used to test the level of stress a person can handle.The slower the pictures move, the better your ability of handling stress.

Alleged criminals see them spinning around madly while seniors and kids see them still.

Check your level of stress...

Hmmmm..... mine spins... faster and faster. Does that mean ....????? out!!

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Memangkecoh: Staff Game

I missed the fist game of our yearly Staff Games. The Congkak competition took place this afternoon and i was too busy to spare time to play/watch/support.

From what I heard it was really kecoh... Sad to say that our team did not win any points. It's ok guys. There are still other games and I'm sure we will be able to catch up.

Signed up for Jigsaw puzzle, scrabble, sudoku and treasure hunt. .... all the mind boggling games..hehehehe. wanted to sign up for bowling but I don't think I have the time to spare as I have to prepare for a big meeting/interview the next day.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Kids and Their Naivity

It's amazing how simple gestures can touch your heart.

A few days ago I scolded Ellix for being naughty (again). And as usual, when I scolded her, I cried. I guess I cried because if given a choice I won't do it. But I know I have to because If I don't say anything to her when she made the mistake, then she will assume it is ok to do it.

Ellix cried too when she saw me crying. She said sorry but I just kept quite. Then she came to me and hugged me. That was it. The minute she hugged me, all my anger was gone and replaced by love.

Later that night, I had this conversation with her:

"Ellix, why do you hurt mama's feelings?"
"I don't know mama. I'm sorry."
"Promise me that you will not hurt my feelings again"
"I will try mama. But sometimes I can only do it on weekends. Cannot do it everyday. But I promise I will try".

Well.... I cannot help smiling. Ellix will always be Ellix.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

C'est La Vie

I always remind my daughter to be thankful of what she has. But then I guess I forgot to remind myself to do so.

I realize that I often wonder why certain things in life do not go as planned. I often ask why I don't get what I wish for, why my dreams are not fulfilled, why things go they way they are?

I guess that is just facts of life. You get some, you lose some. C'est La Vie. I just have to accept that.

I shouldn't be wondering so much. What good will it do? It will make me more miserable.

I should be thankful to God. Thankful that regardless of what happened to me, I am still alive, in good health, have enough to get me by and I have people who still care about me.

If I look around, there are a lot more people who are less fortunate than me. There are people who has to go through sufferings just to stay alive. There are people who barely have enough to eat. And there are people who never knew the meaning of comfort, etc. etc.

I hope it is not too late for me to do that.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Great Party, Great Food, Great Time

Ellix 6th birthday party was a success. All our effort in planning and organizing the party was worth it. The food was good, the guests had fun and the kids, especially, had an awesome time!

My hubby and I had been planning the party for more than 1 month, even before we went for our Gold Coast trip.

This time our menu are:

Satay & Condiments
Penang Char Kuey Teow

Other Side Dishes
Shepperd's Pie
Fried Chicken Wings and Drummets
Chicken Cocktail
Curry Puffs

Chocolate Fountain (Dippings: Grapes, Strawberries, Marshmallows)
Candies (Jellybeans, Candy Watches, Lollypops ..... bought from Australia)

Orange Cordial
Soft Drinks
Coffee & Hot Chocolate

The satay was really good. Infact most of the guests said that it was better than satay kajang.

The kuey teow too.. was very nice... especially when it was prepared ala-minute (cook upon order). The prawns were big and fresh.

But then I guess the center of attention was actually on the chocolate fountain. We managed to rent the machine and it was a hit among the guest. Too bad that I didn't manage to get a lot of strawberries. By 4.30, the strawberries were gone and soon followed by the grapes. Luckily we managed to get a lot of marshmallow. One of my hubby's cousins even put a cup under the fountain so that she can drink the melted chocolate instead of just dipping it (but then she's pregnant... so that is enough excuse to do so). Come to think of it, I think the adults enjoyed it more than the kids.

While the adults had great time with the food, the kids had an even greater time with the arts activities that we prepared:
Sand arts : 80 pieces
Bottle arts (sand) : 60 bottles
Key chain colouring : 60 key chains

The sand arts, especially, was a blast! The kids didn't even bother their parents. They were too busy choosing what colour of sand to put on the cards. In fact, some of them even refused/forgot to eat. The funny thing is.. we can see some adults among the kids too.

By the way, most of the kids were very sporting. They came in wit their costumes. There were princesses, fairies, butterflies, spiderman, superman, batman, harry poter, cowboy, etc. It was awesome! Even the adults too took the opportunity to dress up. My sister came in Witch costume and she was greeted with the oohs and aahhs from other guests. And another friend came as Jelly Fish which was very creative. They really add color to the already great party.

Even though we were very tired after the party.... we are really satisfied. Altogether, there were about 170 guests who came (adults and kids). The best thing is.. most of them had fun! We even received calls and sms from our guests saying that they really enjoyed the party and the kids can't stop talking about it all the way home!

A my husband said.. if we plan to succeed, then it will be a success!

Friday, July 20, 2007

A Tribute to A Dear Friend

Yesterday, when I went to visit Dahlia at Ampang Puteri, I went to pick up Ninie first. Imagine our feelings when we met. As Ninie said to me over the phone.. "When I see you, I just want to hug you. I miss you so much".

We hugged each other tightly. It felt so good to be able to see each other again after so long.

As anyone can imagine, we just talked and talked all the way to the hospital. We have a lot of catching up to do.

On our way back after seeing Dees, we continued our talk again. This time it was a bit more personal. We talked about ourselves more instead of talking about our family.

I guess it felt good to talk to somebody who understands us. Somebody who knows who we really are. Somebody who will not judge us and somebody who will accept us the way we are.

Something Ninie said made me think.."You know what, when we were schooling, I didn't have other close friends except you. We were always together, even when we were not on talking terms to each other!"

Actually what Ninie said is true. We were always together. What ironic about us is... we were never been in the same class. Neither were we in the same room. We just happen to be two girls who were just inseparable. Even when we fought (yes, we fought .. sometimes over silly matters) .. we still went everywhere together. We still waited for each other to go for dinner and prep. We still shared our food... even though no words came out from our mouth.

After school, we were supposed to go to US together. But then, Ninie decided to quit the program and join local University instead... because of personal reason. I was sad, of course. I thought we would be able to go to the same University together.

When I got back from US for good, Ninie was the one who picked me up at the airport. I remember, it was almost 4am.And there she was.. waiting for me with her parents (somehow I managed to get permission from my parents to let me stop over in KL first before going back to Kuantan).

When I started working, I stayed with Ninie and her parents.. until the day Ninie left to UK to further her studies. It was a sad moment for me, but at the same time I was happy for her.

I still remember how I coaxed Ninie to wear more up to date dresses. Well.. I was the one who was always in short skirts while Ninie, being Ninie, is very decent. I always told her .. "Ninie, you are pretty. Bila lagi nak pakai all these. Now is the time."

Well, those were the days. How different it seems now. Whatever it is, Ninie, you are still my best friend. Forever and ever.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Time to Reflect

Just got back from Ampang Puteri Hospital... visiting a dear friend (Dees) who was diagnosed with cancer. Tomorrow she will be transferred to Gleneagles for her chemotherapy.

I feel sad to know that her cancer has spread to her liver. Infact she was admitted to Ampang Puteri because she felt quite weak. Before going to the hospital, I had prepared myself with tissue papers, just in case it would be a sob, sob moment. But then, thank god, I didn't have to use it. I somehow feel happy to know that she is coping well and seems to be positive about the treatment that she's going to do. Maybe she's putting up a brave face for our sake but I do hope she's strong enough, especially emotionally, to go through it all.

It just happened that when I arrived (I went there with another friend), 3 of our old schoolmates were already there. What a coincidence! Didn't expect to see them on working day at 10am! We had a good time catching up with the latest news and I know it somehow cheered Dees up a little bit.

I realize lately that more and more of the people I know have been diagnozed with illnesses and diseases that I never thought would only happen to 'other people'. How sad.... and it can be frightening sometimes. It makes me realize that we never know what the future has in store for us. Nothing is certain.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Ellix Turns 6

My princess is 6 today.

Due to some unavoidable circumstances, we are not able to have ellix's birtday party this weekend, 21st July. It will be on the 28th July instead.

Ellix, as ususal, has been counting days and is really looking forward to it. Last week was spent at her Nen's place doing her invitation card.

It's going to be a costume party and I'm very sure that it is going to be a party that all kids who attend would remember.

(Read it from right bottom, right upper, left upper, left bottom)

The card says:

Costume Party
Come have fun with me on my sixth birthday! Put on your favorite costume and join in the activities!

Date: 28th July 2007
Time: 3-7
Venue: Swimming Pool, Level 3
Location: Sri Acapella, Jln Lompat Tinggi 13/33, Shah Alam
RSVP: Megat xxx-xxxxxxx, Nana xxx-xxxxxxx

You can be a princess, ninja turtle or spiderman but you must not miss out on fun games and creative activities that we can share.
Bring along your swimming costumes and floaters for safety if you want to dip in the pool!

Hope you can make it!
Thank you very much.

From me,
Puteri Ellixafira

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Weird But True

I was talking to a colleague about something this morning when he asked me if I wish I could communicate with my father recently. He said I have something that I need to tell my father and according to him my father seems quite sad.

Maybe it was a wild guess, but it hit the bull's eye!

I looked at him with, surprised, as that was exactly how I felt a few days ago. I was feeling a bit down last week and in my mind I wish my father was around.... I mean, I wish my late father was around. How I wish sometimes that I am able to chat with him and tell him about the ups and downs of my life.

My colleague further said that my late father wishes that we take care of our mum as he loves her very very much.

He asked me if my mum has a sarung (kain pelikat) that she always have with her when she goes to sleep. Again, I was surprised as that is excatly what my mum does. She has this sarung that belongs to my father and use it as her blanket. She has been doing that ever since my father passed away more than six years ago.

My colleague's eyes watered when he heard that.

I told him ever since my father passed away, my mum never spend Ramadhan in Malaysia as it makes her sad. My father passed away during the month of Ramadhan, 3 days before Hari Raya, on his 60th birthday. She would go for Umrah as she feels she is closer to my father there.

I told my collegue that my parents have a special kind of love. He agreed with me. According to him (from what he can feel/sense), my parents are not the type who showed their love openly. As long as both of them knew.... that's enough for them. There need not be words of endearments, etc. They need not hold hands all the time. Their hearts just communicate with each other abput their feelings. Their eyes communicate their love.

I just smiled at him as I couldn't agree more.

In a way, I wish I have the kind of love that my parents have.

This colleague of mine has a special talent. He can sense the supernatural powers around him. Sometimes people go to him for advise or berubat.

Before he left he asked me to tell my mum that my father loves her very very much.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Weekend and CINTA

Last Friday my daughter told me "Mama, I have to watch TV all day long on Saturday and Sunday, until the day ends. There are a lot of new cartoons on Disney channel".

'Are you sure?' was my reply.

"Yes, mama. I'm sure. And I cannot miss them. It's going to be fun, Mama. Please, please. Can I have the TV?"

Hmm... looking at her with the hopefull look in her eyes (by the way, she uses the same tactic all the time and still... I succumb to it..), I said to myself.. well, forget about watching movies on Astro. She's going to be glued to the TV all day long. So, better find other alternatives.

With that in mind, I started digging into our DVD collection and as you may have guessed... spent my weekend watching reruns of the movies. Managed to watch 3 movies, by the way, and one of them is CINTA.

The first time I watched CINTA I didn't really watch it thoroughly. I missed some of the parts and most importantly, I didn't pay much attention to the scripts. But yesterday was different. I really 'menghayati' the movie and I admit to myself taht the movie is good. No wonder people gave good comments about the movie.

CINTA comprises of 5 stories in 1 movie. It is a story about love; the different kinds of love.
1. Dato' Rahim Razali and Fatimah Abu Bakar - Extraordinary CINTA: Age does not diminish one's capacity for love or need for companionship.
2. Eizlan Yusof and Fasha Sandha - Unexpeted CINTA: Love sometimes happen when you least expected it.
3. Nanu Baharudin and Que Haidar - Eternal CINTA: The sacrifices you are willing to make for the one you love.
4. Rashidi IShak and Rita Rudaini - Unconditionally CINTA: True love means letting go of the one you love the most.
5. Pierre Andre and Sharifah Amani - Pure CINTA: Sometimes the love that we desperately seek is not pur true love.

The list of casts are great and teh soundtracks are just wonderful especially CINTA by Misha Omar and Jac Victor (original singers Melly Goeslow and Kris Dayanti).

There are some parts of CINTA that really touched my heart:

1. The part where Cikgu Elyas said to Mak Bi/Rubiah and Rahmah (scene at the restaurant): "Bukan senang nak dapat teman hidup yang sanggup terima baik buruk kita, sanggup berkorban untuk kita, sanggup hidup bersama sampai ke akhir hayat. Isteri bukanlah hak milik, tapi anugerah".

2. The part where Mak Bi/Rubiah said to Amin (scene at Rubiah's house): "Satu hari bersama orang yang kita sayang, macamana susah pun lebih baik daripada seumur hidup dengan orang yang kita tak sayang".

How true. I couldn't agree more.

Thursday, July 5, 2007

What's Next?

Lately I have not really looking forward to to go work. When I mentioned this to a few colleagues at the office, I discovered that I am not alone. They also voice out the same sentiment. Some of them are demoralized and feel somewhat demotivated to work.

Being in HR department, I don't take this matter lightly. What staff feel is important to us. We believe that staff is our assets and happier staff means an increase in assets value (hence, increase in productivity).

Since the new management took over the organization, a lot of speculations are in the air. Rumours are spreading like crazy. Office politics, which was something quite rare before, has become the 'talk of the office'. Staff are wondering when is the new management going to make announcement about the restructuring. Very often we were asked if there will be any offer on VSS or better still, will there be any retrenchment?

Those who are at the higher position often asked us about the new management's directions. What are the mission and vision? What are we going to focus on? Are we going to maintain the current ones? Why there is no session held between the new managemtn and the HODs?

So many questions and so little answers to give. Why? Because we ourselves don't know.

But then one thing some of us do notice is that lately some people have shown their true colours. They use the opportunities available to get what they want. No doubt, some people are just lucky. But then, in my case, I would rather not have the luck than having to kiss people's @#$.

I still believe that we have to be honest in whatever we do. Our job is our amanah and we are paid to make sure that we carry out our amanah properly and sincerely.

But then the question of 'what's next' is still left unanswered.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Awesome Time!!

The trip to Gold Coast was good. It was awesome. Will furnish the details of the trip later.

22nd June
Our flight to Singapore, which was scheduled at 5.45pm was delayed for 20 minutes. Luckily the connecting flight to Brisbane was aropund 9.30pm. Still had a lot of time. By the time we boarded Qantas flight to Brisbane Megat and I were sleepy and hungry. Luckily Ellix had some snacks while waiting for the flight. At least I had one less problem that I had to handle.

The flight to Brisbane was OK. Ellix, as usual, was a bit excited as it was her first long trip (the furthest that she went was to Bangkok and it only took about 2 hours). She had fun time with the flight entertainment, switching from movies to games and to movies again. In between, she would do her coloring on The Wiggles activity book which wa given out to all children.

Halfway through the flight, I guess she felt a bit tired. She kept asking how much longer are we going to arrive in Australia. According to her, she can't wait to get there. Can't wait to go to the beach. Hmmm... despite telling her that the weather would be too cold for us to swim, she still insisted that we bring her to the beach... just to play with the sand.

23rd June
Finally, we arrived at Brisbane airport around 7.15am. Ellix was excited. Considering that it was still around 5.15am Malaysian time, she was already very chirpy and kept asking about this and that.

After getting our luggages, we had to queue at the Immigration. The queue was quite long. It was OK as we were not in a rush but it just happened that we had to endure somebody's body odor. Gosh.. how can some people are not sensitive about this. All we could do was, I tengok kat Megat and Megat tengok kat I .. and both of us geleng kepala.

The immigration process went fine and around 8.15am we were safely admitted to Australia.

After a brief visit to the restroom, we went ahead to the car rental section. After comparing the prices, etc, we finally decided on Thrifty Car Rental. As they were out of compact cars, we had to settle for the normal, medium sized family car. The total amount for 1 week rental was AUD371. Seems a lot but actually if we were to take public transport, it will cost us about that much also. But then, having a car if much more convenient to move around.

Around 9.30am we were already in our rented car, Mitsubishi Mivec (much to Megat's delight), and leaving Brisbane Airport towards Gold Coast.

The 1 hour drive to Gold Coast was quite smooth. Considering that both Megat and I had never been to Australia, we didn't have problems getting there as there are road signs everywhere. The traffics also are much better compared to KL's.

Locating our apartment block (Santana Holiday Resort, courtesy of Leisure Holidays) also was not difficult. When we arrived, the unit was not ready yet. Sue, the resort Manager, suggested that we go get our breakfast first while waiting for it, which seemed like a good idea.

We went to a cafe nearby and ordered fish and chips and hot chocolate . .. Our first meal in Gold Coast..:) It was ok but we have tasted better.

When we got back to the apartment, the unit was ready. We were showed where to park our car and how to get to the unit. Too bad, it was located at the top floor (3rd floor) and it was a walk-up! So, getting our bagages up was quite a chore.

The apartment, to our surprise, was quite cosy. It was a one-bedroom unit that came with full kitchen facilities, washer and dryer.

Megat decided to go for a short nap. I thought it was a good idea, but ellix , being ellix, asked me to play with her. So, nak tak nak.. had to layan her for a while until my eyes couldn't tahan anymore. Told ellix that I need my nap badly. Surprisingly, she joined me and slept on my arm, as usual.

We got up around 2.00. Actually I woke up first and then had to wake Megat and Ellix up. Maybe it's the exciteent of being in a new place, I didn't have much problem this time.

We had quick shower, and by 3pm, we were already out of the apartment and headed to Pacific Fair Shopping Complex, which is about 10 minutes' drive.

We had our lunch (more like very late lunch) and then when to Coles for some groceries. Bought loads of drinks (juices, milk, choc milk, etc), some breakfast items, toilettries, etc. As usual, ellix took the chance to get something for her too .. one of the stuffed animals.. (we found out later that everytime we went out shopping, there must be something for her even though she insisted that..'this is my last one'.... ) .

By the time we left the shopping Center, it was already very dark.

Didn't go out after that. Still felt a bit tired.

24th June

Woke up quite late.. around 8.30. This time I had problem waking up both of them.

After I had showered, went to the kitchen to prepare some breakfast. By then, thank God... Ellix woke up and I managed to persuade her to wake her abah up... which she did in her own way... shouting!

While waiting for both of them to get ready, I planned for our itenary for the next one week.

Once breasfat was done, we went out to our first theme park... the Movie World. When we got there, the car park was already half full. Luckily the queue was not that long.

As expected, ellix was so excited. She kept telling us that so and so said we should try this ride and that ride (it seems that she told her friends that she's going to Gold Coast and two of them happened to go there before).

First we went to Batman's Adventure but we have missed the first two trips. The next one would be at 1pm. Ellix saw the Batman's spaceshot and wanted to go on it. Luckily it has height limit and she's not tall enough to qualify. If not, we will be in trouble. We have to company her to go on that dreadful looking ride. No way I'm going on that one and knowing megat.. he is even worse.

Next we went to Shrek 4D Adventure


Thursday, June 21, 2007

Howdy Gold Coast!!

Finally, the time has almost arrived. By this time tomorrow, I'll be on my way to Singapore and then to Brisbane. Our bags are packed and we are ready to go...almost!!!

Ellix has been counting days since a month ago. Every day she will ask me how many more days for her Australia trip. She even told us what she plans to do there. She keeps asking us to make sure that she gets to go to the beach every other day. Even when we told her that it's winter in Autralia and it's going to be cold, she said that's ok. She will be fine. Well.... ellix just love beaches. She can spend hours and hours playing with the sand.

It feels good to know that I will be away from work for a week. Free from the 'office politics' and free from all the problems that keep cropping up lately.

Can't wait to step my feet in Gold Coast!

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Reminiscing the Past

Yesterday... what a day!

I guess watching Winter's Sonata had stirred something that I thought had been put to sleep long long time ago. It made me look back and reminiscing the past. It somehow saddened me and brought tears to my eyes. Yes, I cried. I cried for the girl I was 20 years ago. So naive, so trusting, and so easily broken.

A lot had happened to that girl since then. Most of the times she endured everything alone. Her life experiences taught her very tough lessons. From somebody so naive, so trusting, she turned into somebody who has little trust in people especially men.

What she went through somehow had changed her to who she is now. She has accepted the facts that people do not always get what they wish for or planned for.

I Cry For The Times That You Were Almost Mine
I Cry For The Memories I've Left Behind
I Cry For The Pain, The Lost, The Old, The New
I Now Cry For The Times I Thought I Had You

Monday, June 18, 2007

Occassional Sob Sob Moments

Whenever people talk about Korean drama, Winter's Sonata, without fail, will be mentioned. It was a hit in Asia way back in 2002.

I didn't have a chance to watch it before except for occassional glimpse, whenever I happenned to go back home early from work. But then last Saturday, a friend of mine loaned me the whole collection of Winter's Sonata after knowing that I have not seen it. Thanks very much Kak Ta! Apparently, if you love to watch romantic dramas, this is a must!

Finally, I got my hands on the CDs and there were 20 of them in the box. At least I have something to look forward to this weekend and the coming week.

After I finished the 1st CD, then I understand why it had become such a big hit before. The winter sceneries in the movie were so breathtakingly beautiful and the soundtracks.... gosh.. they just stay on and on in your mind. The story is one of the greatest love stories that I have ever watched. My eyes were practically glued on the TV. I was under a spell!
Winter Sonata is the kind of drama that makes you feel young again and makes you remember what it feels to be in love for the first time.... the bittersweet of falling in love. It opens up our heart about love and sacrifices and brings us down memory lane.
So, there I was .... I forego my sleep and other activities over the weendends... except for the occassional meal and bathroom breaks. Finally, around 3.30am last night... or rather this morning, I manage to complete the whole story. My husband couldn't understand what is so special about the movies. The dubbing was quite bad (yes, you can hear the mandarin voiceovers quite clearly) and the subtitles are terrible.
When I finally switched off the DVD player last night, it felt like I have been through an emotional roller coaster. I shed tears, I smiled and I felt kind of warmth inside of me. I can't remember the last time that I am this emotional over a movie.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Long Lost Friend

Just now somebody who is very dear to me called. ... my best friend! I have not been in contact with her since 2002. I remember went over to her place with my daughter, who was not even 1-year old yet at that time.

Gosh, how I miss Ninie. It seems that there are so many things that I want to tell her and so many things that I want her to update me with.

I wish I can see her soon.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The Apple Tree

The story below reminds us to love our parents while we still can do so. The Apple tree is so much like our parents. When we were young, we love to play with them. In fact our life centers around them. When we grew older, we left them. Most often we forgot about them and only saw them when we need something or when we were in trouble.

No matter what, parents' love see no boundaries. It will always be there, no matter what. Most parents will do anything and give everything they possibly can to make us happy.

Here goes....

A long time ago, there was a huge apple tree. A little boy loved to come and play around it every day. He loved the tree top, ate the apples, took a nap under the shadow...He loved the tree and the tree loved to play with him. Time went by.......

The little boy had grown up and he no longer played around the tree everyday. One day the boy came back to the tree and he looked sad. "Come play with me," the tree asked the boy. I am no longer a kid, I don't ' play around trees anymore." The boy replied, "I want toys. I need money to buy them." "Sorry, but I don't have money.....but you can pick my apples and sell them. Then you will have money." The boy was so excited. He grabbed all the apples on the tree and left happily. The boy never came back after he picked the apples.

The tree was sad. One day the boy returned and the tree was so excited. "Come and play with me" the tree said. I don't have time to play. I have to work for my family. We need a house for shelter. Can you help me? "Sorry but I don't have a house. But you can chop off my branches to build your house." So the boy cut all the branches off the tree and left happily. The tree was glad to see him happy but the boy never came back since then.

The tree was lonely and sad. One hot summer day, the boy returned and the tree was so delighted. "Come and play with me!" the tree said. "I am so sad and getting old. I want to go sailing to relax myself. Can you give me a boat? " "Use my trunk to build your boat. You can sail far away and be happy." So the boy cut the tree trunk to make a boat. He went sailing and never showed up for a very long long time.

Finally, the boy returned after he left for so many years. "Sorry, my boy, but I don't have anything for you anymore. No more apples for yo u...." the tree said". "I don't have teeth to bite" the boy replied. "No more trunk for you to climb on" I am too old for that now" the boy said. "I really can't give you anything.....the only thing left is my dying roots" the tree said with tears. "I don't need much now, just a place to rest. I am tired after all these years." The boy replied "Good! Old Tree Roots is the best place to lean and rest on." "Come, come sit down with me and rest " The boy sat down and the tree was glad and smiled with tears......

Thursday, June 7, 2007

PM to Marry

Yesterday Pak Lah announced that he has found a companion in Jeanne Abdullah. They will marry on Saturday in a private ceremony which will be attended by family members and close friends.

To me it doesn't matter that he is to be married to his late wife's ex-sister-in-law. that is his rights and his choice. He has every right to be happy and to choose who he wants to marry.

There was something he said, as written in the Sun, which caught my attention: "I believe GOD has created in your heart space for different people that you can love as much as you want. You can love your mother, wife, daughter at the same time, but you never compare between them. GOD has created within you the capacity to love and develop relationships".

How true the statement is and I agree with you Pak Lah. May you find happiness with the new love of your life.

Monday, June 4, 2007

Princess of the Day

What a tiring weekend.

We went back to Kelantan last Friday for my sister's wedding. As of 1st June 2007, my sister has officially married and becomes Mrs Azaddin Zainal.

The wedding was such a lovely affair. The hantaran, which was done by my sis and her friend were so elegant. The pelamin, which were set at two places, were awesome. And my sis, never looked as beautiful as she did that day. Apa tak nya, she's the princess of the day.

Sis, my prayers are always with you. I pray that your life will be full of loving moments and I pray that your love for each other stays true until the end of time. Here is a song for you. I hope your husband will always feel this way towards you:

Can't Help Falling in Love

Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I cant help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I cant help falling in love with you

Like a river flows
surely to the sea
Darling so it goes
Some things are meant to be

Take my hand
Take my whole life too
For I cant help falling in love with you

Note: It is sort of our family song. We want to share it with you on your special day.

My sis and the bridesmaids.

My darling princess, Ellix

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Sad News

I received sad news today. A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with stomach cancer stage 3. The tumor has spread to lymph nodes and she was recommended by doctor to go for chemo to downstage it before going for operation.

A few of us who are close to her was warned not to call her until we have finished crying and until we are sure that we will not cry when we talk to her.

As usual, I thought I was strong but I still cried when I talk to her.

To Dahlia, be strong. We will always doa for you.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Men vs Women


Somebody forwarded this to me. It's example of how men have true loyalty to their friends. The bonds of brotherhood... yeah, right... :)

Friendship Between Women
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.

Friendship Between Men
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.

What does this mean? ..hehehehe

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

How to Compete?

I'm cracking my head to help my HOD prepare proposal paper for increment to the BOD. Thanks very much Kak's not even my portfolio... hehehe

With the recent change in ownership on 1st March 2007, staff are having a lot of speculations and uncertainties whether they will be better off or otherwise under the new management.

Staff has been asking about their benefits. Will the new management review the benefits? Will our salary be reviewed? When will we know whether we will get salary increment or not? So many questions and so little answer to give.

To top it all, the government has recently announced salary increase of 7.5% to 35% and a 100% increase of the cost of living allowance for all civil servants. Wow! how can you compete with that? It makes what we are proposing looks like a pittance. I guess after this everybody would be happy if they get to be a civil servant. Hmmmm....

Monday, May 21, 2007

Keeping a Relationship

I received this through email just now. I do agree with what was written, to a certain extent. But then in life, we have to be realistic too. We do not always get what we want. Sometimes the one available is the best at that point of time.

Keeping a Relationship

It's best to wait for the one you want ...... than settle for the one available.

Best to wait for the one you love than one who's around.

Best to wait for the right one because life's too short to be wasted on just someone.

An African proverb state, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time, his or her flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn how to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you.

You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life together.

Neither one of you is perfect, but are you perfect for each other?

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life" you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

What keeps a relationship strong?

  • communication
  • intimacy
  • a sense of humor
  • sharing household tasks
  • some getaway time without business or children
  • daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note)
  • sharing common goals and interests
  • giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure
  • giving each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment
  • asking God to be the center of your relationship

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty and pain replace thepassion.

"As long as we have memories, yesterday remains. As long as we have hope, tomorrow awaits. As long as we have friendship, today is beautiful."

Love is when you take away the feeling, the passion, and the romance in a relationship and find out that you still care for that person.

Friday, May 18, 2007

I'm Hooked!

I was on leave yesterday to settle some personal matters. Since I managed to settle them quite early, took the chance to visit an old friend and had lunch with her at City Square.

Before I left, we dropped by at a store that sells VCD and DVD and she introduced me to Grey's Anotomy. I was skeptical as I never had the chance to follow the series. But then she assured me that I am going to love it. According to her, if you like Desperate Housewives, you will definitely love Grey's Anotomy. So, I took her words and bought seasons 1 & 2.

True enough... the series are just awesome. I'm hooked and my eyes were glued on the TV all night long. Told my daughter that if she wants to watch her cartoons, she can watch it at the living room. Tonite it's mama's turn to use the DVD player.

By the way, it was just not me alone. My husband, who like me, was skeptical initially, was also hooked. We kept watching until almost 2am. It was with reluctance that I had to switch of the TV and DVD player last night.. or rather, this morning.

Now I can't wait to go home and continue where we left off ....

Monday, May 14, 2007

To UMI, With Lots of Love

Yesterday, after finished talking on the phone with my mum, I felt the urge to cry and well... cry I did.

I guess I have not been a good daughter for quite a while. So many things happened and somehow it affected my relationship with my mum. It is not like what it used to be before. And the sad part is.. I have not done much to rectify it.

Even though she has never said it directly to me, I know my mum wishes that my life could be better. I can sense it from the tone of her voice and from the look in her eyes.

Someone said to me that a mother's love has no boundaries and no conditions. I agree with that. My mum never failed me.. not even once. She was always there whenever I needed her... regardless for whatever reason.

But then, it is sad to say that I am not able to do the same thing to her. I cannot match whatever she did to me.... not even close. I know I broke her heart countless times. I know she had, on many occasions, cried because of me. And I know she used to worry, and still worry about me.

Umi, maybe I am not very good in showing it but the fact is, I love you very much. I wish things are different and I wish I know how to communicate with you better. I have been keeping so many things to myself for so long that now I don't know where to start.

I know I have not been a very good daughter and I have hurt your feelings so many times but trust me, they were unintentional. If I could, hurting your feelings would be the last thing on earth that I would do.

Umi, there's no word in this world that can describe how much I love you, respect you and proud of you. I may not be able to show it but I know deep down in your heart, you know how much I love you.

Happy Mother's Day Umi.