I have not done Tahajjud prayer for quite a long time and alhamdulillah last night I was able to.
I don't know why but as I sat on the sejadah reciting my doa, I felt the urge to cry and cry I did. I cried and cried until my eyes were all puffy.
I felt so small, so humble and so helpless.
I prayed that Allah will forgive me for not being thankful enough for all the Rahmat bestowed upon me. I realize that I have been so self-centered and always ask for more while giving so little in return.
As I wrote in my earlier posting, I wonder too much and often ask why I don't get what I wish for, why my dreams are not fulfilled, and why certain things in life do not go as planned.
Now I'm beginning to come to terms with that and redha with whatever that I have at the moment. I am still far better off compared to million others in this world. Here I am wondering why I don't get this and that while others who are less fortunate than me are thinking about how to survive at this very moment.
Ya Allah.. please give me strength to go through this life. I am just a human being with a lot of imperfections.
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12 comments:
my dear,
you will have strength for as long as you believe in HIM.
we need to keluar and makan2 together gether la.
*hugs*
Hi Guile,
I do hope so. I need the strength not to battle against others.. but against myself.
Makan2 sounds good. Should do that la...one of these days. Need to destress... :)
Meantime, take care dear.
nana,
I used to fret over my shortcomings too but not anymore. Since it was mainly my own fault that I didnt really go after all of my dreams, I have come to terms with it. Yes it is only proper that we compare ourselves against those who have less than us. It is easier to get inner peace that way.
Pak Zawi,
As much as I'm trying hard to be thankful to Allah for the blessings bestowed upon me, sometimes I cannot help being human...
I guess now I have come to terms with it and things seem to be more bearable.
Not everyone could wake up in the middle of the night, like you just did. You have started something very good. Regular performance of Tahajjud Solat commands an unusually high reward from Allah SWT. The Almighty Allah tells us about those who forsake the comfort of their warm beds in His Remembrance in verses 16 and 17 of Surah Sajda:
"They forsake their beds of sleep, while they call on their Lord, in fear and hope. And they spend (in charity) out of the sustenance which We have bestowed on them." "Now no person knows what delights of the eye are kept hidden (in reserve) for them - as a reward for their good deeds."
dear,
i've tagged you.
http://richochet.blogspot.com/2007/10/ramadhan-tag.html
have fun!
Mcbudu,
I hope it will not be a one off kind of affair. Knowing myself, I am always 'liat' when it comes to do all these.
Hope my prayes are answered and I will be a better person.. :)
Dear Guile,
Hmmm... you make me hungry. :)
Give me some time and I will definitely complete it. Not because of tak de idea but more of too many to choose.... just kidding..
Hi Nana
Thanks for dropping by my blog. I appreciate the visit and comments.
Wishing you God's abundant blessings.
Have a good week. :)
Hi JT,
Thanks very much for the wishes. Hope you have a great week too.
nana,
recently we had to move to a smaller home due to financial problems.
some people around our social circle, thought of it as a downgrade and when they talk to me its with caution as not to point it out directly but still wondering how we are coping living in a smaller home. they are obviously curious also expecting to hear me complain and whine. and honestly i thought i myself would freaked out!
they are quite surprise to see us especially me actually happier. so i explain to those who really asked that, i dont see it as a downgrade. as long as i have a roof over my family's head i am happy. a smaller house is more manageable, less maintenance. its really weird, but i actually felt more contented here than i was before.
so nana, i guess it must be that thing called "being grateful and thankful" to the Almighty for all the rezeki He blessed to us big or small.
someone once said to me, " when you are feeling well, Alhamdullillah. this well being is from you Allah swt, i accept... and when you are in pain and hurting, say Alhamdullillah. all this pain and hurting is from you ALLah swt i accept. "
RM,
Thank you so much for sharing. It encourages me to look back and count my blessings.
God the almighty is all knowing and there must be a reason for everything that happens to us. What happened now (or before) 1s a way of preparing us to face the future.
May your blessings be too many to count and your worries too small to matter.
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